Problem with my 2 year old?

Question

I am having a problem with my 2 year old. When he looses his temper he get really physical with me and not his dad he has hurt me so many times. When he was 17 months old he fractured my nose by head butting me! I am at a loss of what to do. I know I have to take into consideration that he has speech problems he doesn't say much. I am dealing with that though. Do you have any suggestions on how I can get him to stop this because he has a baby sister that is going to be 6 months old soon and I don't want her to pick up on this? And any reason on why it is only me and not his father?

My Husband treats me great. And I spend alot of time with both my kids since my daughter still sleeps alot I spend time with him when she is sleeping

Answer 1

He is after you and not dad for one of two reasons (or both): either he knows that you will be there for him and dad may not, or he knows dad won't take it. Both reasons have the same solution, don't take it. Give him better ways to get his feelings out. I hate Barney but he had a good song that had the line "I talk about my feelings when I'm mad". You say your son has speech problems, there are other ways to communicate. Set up a "time out" area where he can take time out of his life to unwind. Instead of making time out a punishment, make it breaktime. Lots of big pillows and soft stuffed animals to bounce on and crash into. A felt-covered corkboard (something softitsh covered in felt) with felt people that look like the people in his life and large felt faces with different emotions so that he can play out scenarios and point to or hand you faces of how he is feeling. Somewhere else a little bit away from his Break Time Corner or whatever you call it, set up a large carpet square or large pillow (again, soft is the key). This is your safe spot. If he gets aggressive, simply put him on the spot and keep yourself and his sister ot of the way. If he gets up, take him back, no words. Do not speak to him until he calms down. Then kneel to his level and tell him, "you were very mad, tell me what happened." And then listen if he can tell you, if he can't, give him the words, "It is hard to hear no. I bet you felt frustrated." etc. Before its over tell him about what is okay to do next time and what is not, "Billy, it is okay to feel mad, if you feel mad, go to breaktime corner. You cannot hit me and hurt me. Tell me sorry and lets go play." Wait for the sorry (words or signs) and then connect with him in a positive way for a few minutes.
Help him by giving him a way out of a situation without coming to blows. Give him choices about what he can choose but don't a choice he doesn't have. Pick your battles carefully, compromise shows him respect and that everyone can win. If you have to take a stand, take it and never lose.
I hope this helps, Good Luck

Answer 2

Men tend to intimidate kids, even unintentionally, because they are big and their voices are so deep..this is not altogether a bad thing, because kids need to know someone is in charge, but it may be that you need to be more authoritative with him...you are still bigger than he is, and you can control him...I will tell you that you are going to be better off nipping his behavior in the bud now with firm but loving..and consistent discipline, because the bigger he gets, the worse it will be...and even if he isn't saying much, you should be talking to him all the time, praising as often as honestly and sincerly possible, correcting when necessary, and just talking in general..hearing other people talk will help him hone his speech skills. When he gets physical I would physically stop him, and firmly tell him NO, you don't hit, and give him an appropriate time out..usually a minute or two for each year of age, when you let him up, explain again why he was in time out, and then hug him...kids do need boundaries...but they need to know they are loved in spite of messing up.

Answer 3

I hate to say it but that boy needs a very long and hard time out. I have a 1 1/2 year old son who seems to love hitting me with his toys but never has he hurt me that much I am sorry to hear your child has done so to you. I don't know what your veiws on disapline are and there for I don't know how to help other then tell you to sit him down and explain to him that hitting you is not nice and that it hurts you very badly and ask him how he would like it if someone hit him like that. I also give my son one firm smake on the bottom for shock value but since some frown on that and I don't know if your one of those I will not say to do that as well. As for him not doing it to the father I don't know the answer to that for my son doesn't do it to his father either it maybe daddy is bigger and louder (voice deeper) Though I really don't know the answer to that. I hope that helps but if not there is always counsling.

Answer 4

If he has speech problems is there a possibility of other problems that could possibly be the source of the speech problems. Have you had him checked?

Another option .... since he only does it with you...how is your discipline as opposed to that of your husband? What I mean by that is when you say "if you don't behave ________ is going to happen" does that ______ happen or is it really interpreted like this?..... if you don't behave, I'm going to threaten you again. When possibly your husband is a little better at saying what he means and doing what he says?

I know that I am the bigger pushover in my family and tend to fuss more and punish less. Therefore they give me a harder time than they do him.

Answer 5

My advice is to really focus on the positive things that he does. If you are really reacting and giving him a lot of negative attention when he is acting up you should stop. I use the naughty spot, there is ONE warning for bad behavior and then it is one minute for each year old on the naughty spot. When my son does something good and is behaving in a way that I like I try to remember to compliment and really gush about how good he is. Unfortunately, when you are a busy mom it can be easier to notice the bad behavior then the good. Just my 2 cents!

Answer 6

I agree with both comments it could be either or. It is very true if there is abuse in the house the child will pick up on that and think it's normal behavior. Also jealousy could be the problem if there is no abuse in the household maybe he is jealous of his sister. I also agree that he should be put in timeout for bad behavior and keep a stirn voice with him everytime he misbehaves.

Answer 7

His father doesn't let him and you do.Your mistake is probably that you punish him for something but you're not consistent and you let him off the leash too soon when he didn't have enough time to realize how and when he was wrong.Kids will test your patience and will try anything to get what they want you have to make them understand you are the boss and they cannot have everything.You might wanna try to consult your childs doctor,he would recommend something for sure,but you should try to deal with this as soon as possible.

Answer 8

What does your husband do different with the child - I'll bet he's more strict. You need to look at it like this - you are the Mom, he is the child - there are certain behaviors that are unacceptable - and punish accordingly. Don't be afraid to be the Mom - you're the boss, not your child!! I have 3 kids and that would be the day when they disrespected me like that - at any age!!

Answer 9

Tell the 2 year old that if he does it again, you will not pick him up. If it continues, contact your Ped Dr and get his advice.
2 is a rough age, but they are smart enough to learn whats right and wrong
Good luck

Answer 10

That's good to see you and your husband are close still, even after kids.

I think that you need to set limits with him, like if he hits you you should give him a nice time out. Or maybe just push him gently if he tries to attack you.. If this continues as he grows older, God can guess what might happen. :- /