Rude Co-worker. How to handle?

Question

I have a rude co-worker who consistently calls me out on things. I'll admit, I'm not a perfect worker. I do make the occasional mistakes while at work, but is anyone perfect. I get along well with almost everyone at my job and my bosses consider me a pretty decent worker; not the best, but certainly not the worst.

I often find this co-worker calling me out on the little things I do wrong at work, or trying to imply that I did something/said something wrong. The mistakes I tend to make, happen to be very common ones that a majority of my co-workers also make.

Perhaps, I'm being too sensitive, but I really hate being put on the stop like that. I usually don't say anything, because I am a somewhat passive person and I'm also try not to take things too personally. But, it's starting to bother me because I keep questioning what makes this person any better then myself.

We are the same age, and while she has been with the company longer and has senioriority

I have been there a year and feel I have earned my place.

Other co-workers have refered to her as a b***h on occasion. I think she has a bad attitude.

The whole situation is making me upset. I have even questioned what it is about myself that makes her dislike me so much.

She's so mean; I have even heard her make remarks about my personality/mannerism. It honestly makes me feel like less of a person.

What should I do? I dislike my job as is, but this is pushing me over the edge.

FYI--we are in our 20's and this job is min. wage. I'm a college student and she is not. I often wonder if that's the cause of the negativity. I'm blonde, and tends to call me out about thinks regarding my intellect. I'm a little ditzy, but I'm going to grad school; so I'm obviously able to function in the world and be successful.

Answer 1

I would either address it with a superior...like your mgr and let them know...and potentially discuss your upset with the coworker the next time she does that. Address it in "i feel" statements. If you don't bring it up with her in conversation, you may want to address it over email because then you have a paper trail should anything else arise from it. Be professional when bringing it up.

Answer 2

I am going through this very thing right now at work and a week ago I reached my saturation point so I went to my manager. Without bringing it down to a personal level I told him exactly what is going on, how it is affecting me and my work and said that something needs to change. He asked me what I would like to see change and I told him I would like this person moved away from me (she sits right beside me). Now what might be different between you and I is that I'm considered a "work horse". My work is second to none in the office and I'm very well liked and respected by my peers. They come to me for professional advice all the time and the managers know that. This other person has been at this office longer than I have as well but she hasn't made many alliances over the years. She is loud, rude, crude and obnoxious. Anyway, my chat with my manager is getting something done. I don't know what yet but I have been told by another co-worker that he was asked for his opinion of the situation already so things are being looked into. You need to do the same, speak up and ask your manager to intervene. It is not your job to manage the staff, it's his/hers.

Answer 3

I don't see any harm in going to the boss or other higher-uppers, if for no other reason than to let people know what is going on. But here's a little trick you could try should the opportunity present itself. If another position- within the same company but different department- comes up that would take you out of her airspace, go for it. She might apply too out of spite- and perhaps get preference over you by reason of seniority. But either way, you'll be in different territories and she won't be in your hair anymore.

Answer 4

You are not being too sensitive, that co-worker is a bully (seems like every workplace has one) so you need to put a stop to it by not being so passive and not taking the abuse all the time.

Next time you could tell this person that if they have a problem take it to the supervisor and to leave you alone.

Answer 5

I would confront her in an indirect way, like if she implies you did or said something wrong in front of other people, ask her what, specifically, you did wrong. If she can't come up with an answer or if you can shoot down whatever answer she comes up with, she will look like a buffoon and she won't bother you anymore.

She's acting like that exactly because you're passive. Just like a bully in the schoolyard, once you stand up to her a couple of times, she'll leave you alone.

Complaining to a boss might work, but it also might make you look petty.

Answer 6

Can they be a threat to your job? If your relationship with them is important to you or in your best intrest try to get to know them a little better, perhaps try to become friends. Try talking to them using i feel this way when this happens could also benefit you but dont place blame. They could just be having a really rough time and dont mean to be rude not that thats an excuse. There is also the possibility that your taking it too personal. Be nice go out of your way to be nice and if nothing works keep witnesses close (digital recorders are great also) and just do your job to the best of your abilities.

Answer 7

I would politely but firmly remind her that she's not your boss.

I would also politely but firmly point out that there's a difference between offering help and being critical.

Let her know that you'd be happy to accept her help and advice -- but not her criticism. Especially since, again, she's not your boss.

I would try to work it out with her directly first, before going to the boss. But if you sincerely try to work things out with her but she doesn't change her ways, then you can let her know that you have no choice but to take it up with the supervisor.

If it does come down to that, it's best to let her know what your intentions are, and where she stands. It shows professionalism and maturity on your part, which will register with her in the end.

Good luck.
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Answer 8

A lot of rude, ignorant people have shoved others out of their jobs by doing this. She has a Queen Bee complex and she wants you to quit your job. Don't whine to your boss, if your boss was any good she wouldn't be working there. She'll expect you to go to the boss, don't, because it will make you look like a wuss.

Stop being a victim. Get assertive, and start callling her on her crap. Questions like, "Excuse me, maybe you could clarify. Am I in a subordinate position to you, here? Are you my supervisor, and do you have any say in whether or not I continue working here? Because if not, I would appreciate it if you kept your opinions and remarks to yourself. Do your job, I'll do mine, and stay off my back. OK?" Responding to rudeness with a sentence that starts with "HEY" is a good way to deal with people like this, as is ending your statements with a slightly loud "OK?" Stand your ground and maintain eye contact until she backs down, and do it in front of co-workers, but not customers or clients.

If you overhear her talking about you, tell her in a calm and forceful manner to get your name out of her mouth. You are not new to your job, and you don't appreciate her catty gossip. Call it for what it is. Get hardcore.

You've got to be tough with people like this, or they will mess with your mind until you hate your job and end up quitting. Stand up to her and toe the line, and you'll be her boss one day.

Law of the jungle, baby.

Answer 9

Go to your HR person and tell them that this person is creating a hostile work environment, could they please step in and help. Maybe mediate? Your company will jump into this, too many cases of workplace violence for them to ignore any problems. I hope things work out, if no better in a month you might ought to find another job.

Answer 10

You should try to cope with it however hard it may be because you have no other option. You should just ignore her and her remarks. It's no good to give her mannerisms any heed and it will do harm to nobody but you. So the best way out will be to just ignore her.