My sister-in-law is engaged to a guy who treats her poorly. She's even told me before that she doesn't like him in that way, but if he asked her to marry her she'd say yes. I don't know why she wants to be married so bad, but she doesn't love him. I have a feeling that it's because she wants to have a baby so that she'll have someone to love. How do I tell her that it's not ok to marry him and definitely not ok to have a baby?
2007-02-17 16:31:22 · 10 answers · asked by impossiblemama 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if she doesn't already know that is an outrageous thing to do then i don't know how you could explain it to her?
Maybe you could tell her that if she married a man that she didn't love and brought a child into the world, she would be hjappy with the child but what about every other aspect of her life and wouldn't she want someone to share that love with her?
good luck with this!
2007-02-17 16:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by pamcake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you talk some sense into her,getting married just to get married is never a good reason.Specially if she wants to have a baby, she needs to wait until she finds someone she loves. Bringing a baby into the world should have two parents that love each other as well as the baby. Tell her how fair is it to the baby if it has two parents that don't love each other, how is that baby going to be raised,specially since you said he treats her badly, how is he going to feel about a baby, and how does she know he even wants one.There are so many people that bring children into the world that don't have solid relationships, and the main one that suffers is the kids.Ask her if she's ready to raise a baby by herself,because from what your saying that seems to be what might happen in her case. If he's not treating her right now, I seriously doubt a baby's going to make him treat her better, he may feel trapped and tricked into becoming a father.
2007-02-17 16:46:00 · answer #2 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could go ahead and have a kid and not marry him. I'm sure deep down she must have some type of feelings for him really. I think you need to try and talk her into that, if feelings do develop then she can always marry him later. If he treats her poorly then why would she want to hook up? What does marriage have to do with it all? I'm not sure myself, and I think because she doesn't really like him that the marriage is wrong and it will end badly. Explain she doesn't need someone to love that badly, you can love anyone without marriage and have kids. How wrong. Tell her to consider adoption.
2007-02-17 16:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is how plain and simple. Tell her you do not have to be married to have or raise a child now days. and why get married to someone you do not love and that treats her bad... is she not thinking about how he is going to treat the kids and what the kids are going to be seeing how daddy treats mommy. show her this and see if it changes her mind about marring a loser. HEY PEOPLE she can have a sister in law if her husband has a sister it is not that hard to figure out.
2007-02-17 16:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by cindy b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These kind of family conflicts are not uncommon. Some people are so caught up in their own view of what the world and everyone in it should be. What our job in the world is to do, is to keep doing what's right. I know, I know it seems unfair because what you want to do is something that will show immediate effect. But in reality, alot of times when you try to do something about it, it gets worse. It's called, Good Intentions Lead to Bad Decisions - believe me, I live by that myself. So if you just keep doing what is right, (on your part, not your sis-in-law), then good things will amount to it. Some people never change, but don't let it rent your space. =) God Bless
2016-05-24 00:46:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about asking her out to dinner,just the two of you,and have a heart to heart talk with her.....
to start the conversation you could say ..............can I talk to you? look your my sister in law and I realy care about you,and I know its none of my business but I am realy worried and concerned because................
and then tell her why . She may or may not listen which you cant do anything about,but you will have expressed your concerns and gotten it off your chest ..
other than that,just let her know you will be there for her if anything happens or she needs a shoulder to lean on.....
thats all you can realy do , and then hope and pray that she took your words to heart
hope this helps
2007-02-17 16:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't she realize she can have the baby without a husband. Happens all the time. She needs help to to deal with her depression. Yes she is depressed.
2007-02-17 16:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by sdo3lg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your sister in law then she is married to your brother. If you are so bored to make up questions at least make them believable.
2007-02-17 16:34:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
u have to explain all these things to her when she is having peace of mind(i.e. her mood is good & ok).She will understand.U have to tell her that u all r there to love her!!
2007-02-17 16:38:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sania 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how is she your sister-in-law, if she wants to get married really badly?
2007-02-17 16:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by k 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋