How old does a child have to be to decide which parent she want to live with and how hard is it to lose custod

Question

my ex is brain washing my daughter and wants her to go and live with him and he has told her things to turn her against me..he recently started seeing them again after four years.he violated his court ordered visitations also and he's behind in child support

Answer 1

in australia i know my son went to live with his father at 13 and the police said there was nothing i could do. my neice actually ran away from home at 13 and the police again told me they couldnt bring her back home if she was in a safe invironment. they told me that at 13 she was old enough to make up her own mind what she wanted to do.... hence why she started a life of crime by doing breakins and stealing....then pregnant at 15. lucky we have the law to take care of our children...yeah right....

Answer 2

First of all, if he has violated his court ordered visitations, you need to contact the court system and let them know. He should never tell your children bad things about you, just as you should never do the same to him. I think a child has to be 13 to legally decide which parent she wishes to live with. It is very hard to lose custody of your children unless he can prove you to be an unfit mother. You do not sound like an unfit mother to me. You sound like a very concerned parent. Take the time to talk with your children and explain the situation with them. But most of all, get down on your knees and pray. God will do what is best for you and your children. He is the one you should always turn to whether you are having bad times or good.

Answer 3

I suppose states would differ, but I believe around 12 yrs. I remember my parents divorce hearing 29 yrs ago. I was asked at age 6. The court will look at the traits of the parents and who has a loving environment. If this man is behind in both financial and emotional support for the child the court will way heavily on your side. It will be hard for him to get custody if he hasn't been around.

Answer 4

I'm in Ca, my niece came to me at 12 yrs old and asked to live with me. We went to the court and filed papers that included her declaration. Since I was not mom or dad it went before the Probate court the next day instead of family court. At that time the judge gave me a 30 day temporary custody pending investigation of myself and her mom. When mom threatened to shoot anyone approaching her home that pretty much aced it. After the 30 days the guardianship was made permanent. She's 17 1/2 and awesome. I'm very lucky she was so brave at 12. Her opinion mattered but the court would be careless to just let kids decide and that's it.

Call your local DA or child support services and let them know the situation. You can get low cost help.

Answer 5

16

Answer 6

NO state gives a minor the right to choose where they live. Non.
Most states ALLOW children to express what they want and why, and in many cases, the court allows it. Other times, the judge decides that the reasons are frivolous, and does not.
As for losing custody... there are many parents out there who can and do lie...or manipulate the kids. There are several web sites and mail lists concerning parental alienation.

Answer 7

18

Answer 8

Part of this depends on the state that you live in, but the courts will also look at the parents and how things have gone up to that point. It is harder to lose custody if the other parent doesn't visit regularly, pay support, etc.

Answer 9

It depends on the state but in California the age of twelve is given more weight by the judge. If he is not paying child support and is using the children as pawns he generally gets his support payments raised and is ordered to parenting classes.

Answer 10

hi,
a child of 12 can choose, as they have reached the "age of reason".
for a mother to lose custody is hard, but is now easier than it used to be.. proved to be neglectful, leaving the child alone or in harm's way, involved with illegal drugs, being an alcoholic and mental illness are some ways custody could be lost.
i hope this helped.