Charismatics: Only one. Their hands are already in the air.
Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb; however, if, in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and two or three committees to approve the change. Also bring a casserole.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
2007-02-17 16:05:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Pagan lightbulb jokes...
Druids: 501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.
Family Traditionalists: "Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!"
(or) "Go ask your own grandmother!"
Astrologers: "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"
Pagans: Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never burned out before those Christians came along.
Gardernian Wiccans: Sorry, that's a Third Degree secret.
(or, In a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know... initiate?"
Alexandrian Wiccans: Dunno - we haven't looked it up in the Gardnerian Book Of Shadows yet.
(or) 13. One High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 to hold her up under all that jewelry.
(or) "Let's go see how the Gardnerians do it!"
Brit Trad Wiccans: 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.
Solitary witches: (if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)
Wiccans: Four. One for each direction.
Buckland Witches: "Refer to my second book, 'Practical Light Bulb Changing', by Raymond Buckland..."
2007-02-17 16:12:47 · answer #1 · answered by prairiecrow 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lol. Funny stuff. Even a Christian should like it
I think any religious person could change a lightbulb, but uh, putting the bulb into the hole is the hardest part
2007-02-17 16:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Evangelical Fundamentalists None, They just pray to be shown the light.
Satan worshipers None, the dark suits them.
Amish What's a light bulb?
2007-02-17 16:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good! lol! Excellent job! How about the Evangelicals? They're none, too. They have to find the passage in the Bible that OK's changing a light bulb before they do it.
2007-02-17 16:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
How many Heathens to change a lightbulb ?
- About a dozen. One holds the lightbulb and the others drink enough mead to make the room spin.
2007-02-17 16:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Atheists: Just one. We don't need a reverend to help determine whether changing a lightbulb is the will of God.
2007-02-17 16:08:22 · answer #6 · answered by Nowhere Man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHEEEEEE ! ! "LET THERE BE LIGHT" ! ! The people said let there be light so I screwed in a bulb! Oh how many f*cking yoyo's does it take to change a freeeaken light bulb ? FIVE! One to hold the bulb and four to TURN THE LADDER ! ! Hahaaaa Pop popcorn? FIVE. Smile. One to hold the pan and FOUR TO SHAKE THE STOVE ! Ha ha ha hee hee hho hum hoho heeee hah hah. Now how many SATANISTS does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they LIVE IN DARKNESS!! Haw haw ! Wheeeeee ! !
2016-05-23 14:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many religious people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three prostitutes for Swaggart!
2007-02-17 16:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by LEE DA 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
very creative. You left out the muslims.
for them it takes 22 suicide bombers to clear the way for one who can take control and command the world to face east on their knees and accept the change.
2007-02-17 16:13:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You left out Jews!!! WE ALWAYS GET LEFT OUT!!!
It takes one Jew to change a light bulb....we point to our Christian janitor and tell him to change it.
Ohhhhhh. Snapppppp.
2007-02-17 16:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋