She is "pudgy" but our pediatrician says her growth is more than baby fat and that we should get her a bra. However, her older sister (age 11) hates bras and refuses to wear any sort of bra, cami, etc. None of her friends wears a bra either. But she needs one more than any of them, including her older sister. How can I handle this without making her feel like a freak?
2007-02-17 15:30:10 · 20 answers · asked by c 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
9 and 11 is a bit young for a bra...(unless they are REALLY developed) i don't much care for bras either ( and im top heavy). they are uncomfortable and restrictive...and around the house...i don't wear one.
you could make a deal with her telling her that if she leaves your home she must wear one. but let her pick one out.
if the 9 yr old is not that developed, i would let it slide till she is older. it's not going to hurt her to let her go without. eventually she will become AWARE of it herself, and then she will more than likely ask you for one. your older daughter will probably be begging for a trendy pretty bra just like all her friends have in a few short years (if not sooner)...
just wait it out. it really won't hurt to let them go without it. AND when they decide to wear one on their own..they will feel better about the situation because THEY were ready for the change.
Doc doesn't always know best, and remember HE/SHE [the doctor] works for YOU not the other way around. it was a suggestion, not an order...your the mom.
2007-02-17 16:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by ☆MWφM☆ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let her know that though she may not wanna wear a bra rit now, it'll be good for her later on. She may feel weird that she's the only one out of her friends that's gonna wear a bra, but then she'll realize that she made the right decision as she grows older. Wearing a bra should not make u feel like a freak, its supposed to tell u that ur growing up and that ur close to being a teenager. Which is a good thing. Hope this helped.
2007-02-17 15:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about not a standard bra but tank style undershirts or a sports bra?
Let HER pick them, NOT you.
Otherwise, WHY should she have to wear a bra if she doesn't really need it yet? This in not a medical call here, it's a social mores one the doctor shouldn't have made
Bras are a matter of support - and the slight "pudgy swelling" she currently has does NOT need support.
I don't think any girl should have to wear a bra until or unless she needs that support, or she's wearing flimsy see through clothing.
2007-02-17 15:37:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why is a doctor saying she must wear a bra??? Socially, young women wear bras to avoid having their nipples look too conspicuous. Support is not necessary unless she's sporting D's already, and some would argue, not even then. The nipple issue can be solved, or at least lessened, by having her wear shirts of more substance than plain cotton tee material. Not too difficult in winter. This is one of those times that, as a mother of 6 (4 of them being girls), I would personally choose my battles.
Later, when it becomes more of a clothing issue, you can encourage her to wear bras by applying wardrobe pressure. "Sorry, you can't have that blousey shirt because you need to wear a bra with a shirt like that. Here, try on this polo..."
2007-02-17 18:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by LaundryGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i would explain to her that each girl's body develops differently and at different time, and would not bring up the pudgy part...believe me, THOSE words are not forgotten when a parent speaks them...but any young girl is self conscious at that age, so maybe sports bras might appeal to her more...they support, but minimize, and let her wear loose clothes if she feels more comfortable in them, until she is more comfortable with the changes...and personally, I might would get them for her, letting her have a hand in picking them out, but I wouldn't force her to wear them that young..or at any age, really. I might casually mention how grown up it made me feel when I got my first pretty bra, or maybe how I started realizing as my body changed, I felt more comfortable when I was playing if I had some support, but I really think you will do more mental harm than physical good if you push too hard on this. but you know your daughter best, so trust your instincts.
2007-02-17 17:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by rainydaydreamr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wearing a bra is something that many girls look forward to but are too scared to ask their parents. If you don't make it a huge deal she'll probably go along with it. Find a pretty lace cami from a "cool" store such as abercrombie and she might even be excited to wear it. In terms of bras, getting one from a store such as Limited Too, will be fun and girly and your 11 year daughter might even want one!
2007-02-18 12:16:20 · answer #6 · answered by jennarator94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry too much about it. If she isn't uncomfortable then she will be fine. In the winter you could see if she will wear tank tops with a shelf bra built in as an undershirt. She'll eventually wear one once she's in middle school and has to change for gym in front of a bunch of other girls. Until then if nothing's showing then she really shouldn't need one as long as she's comfortable.
2007-02-18 12:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by caitlinerika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate bras too. I'm 53...The best way to get her to wear one without her feeling like a freak is to not treat her as if she were a freak. She's not, my cousin was wearing a bra at age eight and it wasn't babyfat. ALL girls develop at different rates including sisters/twins. So comparing her to her sister isn't going to help her at all. You might want to tell the older daughter though that if she doesn't wear a bra, by the time she gets to be my age she will have kneecap warmers.
2007-02-17 16:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just be open and honest with her. Tell her that she is growing up and she is developing breasts. She needs to wear a bra because it will help her breasts keep from sagging as they grow, it will make it more comfortable to do things like run and play, when a woman gets to around a B-cupish it is just more discreet then letting the ladies bounce merrily along. Explain that all girls grow at different times and this is her time. Talk with her sister and see if you can enlist her sister's help in making this easier for the younger. Explain to your girls that men are attracted to the sight of breasts and at the girls' age they need to start being aware of how they dress and the reaction of the men and boys around them. They are about to become teens and now is the time to help them make the transition to womanhood with some grace and self-respect. A lot of us just kinda fell headlong into it.
P.S. Now is a good time to have them help you plan a womanhood ceremony for when they start menstruating. The planning and celebration of it will help them look forward to it instead of worry about it. It will also help them see the breasts as a step in the process instead of a freakish nightmare.
Good Luck
2007-02-17 17:06:31 · answer #9 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I felt the same way too. Tell her that it makes her look better to the boys and also that its comfortable. Say something like 'I mean sure not all your friends wear a bra, but some day they will and you can beat them to it.' If shes the type that likes to win..
2007-02-17 16:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by Katie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋