My sister is really rude to me and treats me like a child. What can I do?

Question

We're both adults and I thought the days of her talking down to me might be over but I guess not. I'm 24 and very independent, yet every time I hang out with her she is awful. If I bite a nail she snaps at me to knock it off. If I ask her to clarify something she's talking about she snips "Would you let me finish?". She gets mad if I eat things that crunch (even though I close my mouth). She yells at me if I say something even slightly negative. If we go somewhere and someone asks me a question (like a receptionist) she starts to answer for me. She treats me like a baby and I'm so sick of it. I know I should stand up for myself but I end up just getting mad and being quiet and then she yells at me for that. She also cuts me down all the time telling me that being shy is weird, I need more friends, I'm too down on myself, I won't make it in the career I want, etc. Yet she claims she's all I have and I am all she has so we should stick together. She makes me depressed... help

Close mouth don't get fed must be your catch phrase.

I've tried to stand up for myself and she claims I'm being psycho.

Answer 1

Your are an adult, so demand some respect, you don't have to have an attitude or get into a hollering match with her, but go to her woman to woman, let her know how you feel and that there need to be some changes in the relationship and if nothing changes maybe you guys need to go your separate ways for a while.

Answer 2

Family is everything.

Things will change us but family is the start and the end.

I have a sister that is 24 and I am 32. She is married with a baby. I don't know why but she will always be my little sister. I will always feel like i have to look out for her and be there for her.
After hearing your question I bet sometimes I drive her crazy too.

But something is clear. Your sister loves you very much or else she wouldnt be there and trying to give you guidance. In time she will see you as an independent adult. Show her by your actions and success how strong and independent you are.

Don't freak out on her and get mad. Her heart is in the right place. You could calmly tell her how you feel about it in a quiet moment.

I also have a sister 7 years older than me. Im a grown woman with a family and a successful career. My older sister still thinks she needs to pay for my way at the movies or pay for dinner etc. I don't know what it is. But that is the way it is. She still sees me as her little sister that needs to be taken care of.

I hope this helps. Cheer up, be glad you have close family.

Answer 3

I am an only child so I have never dealt with this. I do have children though and though they are young my oldest is very "watchful" over his younger siblings. I think it is nature but the insults are uncalled for. I know its hard with family but have you ever tried confronting her in a loving way. Try being honest with her and think about what you may be doing to provoke her. I think sisters really have a way of pushing eachothers buttons from what I have heard. Also, you should try broadening your horizons and meeting new people. I think when two people are together too much they tend to get on eachothers nerves. Hope your relationship gets better :) Just remember to love her and treat her like you would want to be treated.

Answer 4

Sound like she has been doing this all your life and you are conditioned to be her robot. You need to make the first move and do just that...MOVE ON. Get away from her, find some friends, join a volunteer group or something to get around others and build your self-esteem. Your relationship description sounds like that of a married couple! (ones gone bad, that is).
You need to live your way, not hers. One or both of you is very insecure if you can't accept being away from each other long enough to find what makes you feel right. It can be difficult but I recommend you try to separate yourself and limit the amt of time you spend together. You don't have to break all ties, but you need to experience new things in life without her riding on your back. Good luck!

Answer 5

Wow, sorry. That must suck to have your only sibling constantly judge you and speak to you as if people judge her based on your actions.... have you ever had a heart to heart with her.... let her know that she needs to back off, that not every one is perfect, that many are shy. Sounds like she wants you to feel some guilt for what she has to go through.. does she have a rough life... did she raise you? where is her animosity coming from? I would take a step back, and raise your voice; the next time she speaks down to you or snaps at you I would tell her that you need some time apart, because if she can not speak to you with nice words she does not need to speak at all... that's what I would say to my child, and if she if going to act like one, you might as well treat her like one. Good Luck!

Answer 6

your sister does not come before your self respect. you just have to speak up for yourself and talk this issue out with her. but old habits are hard to change and chances are she wont. so you gotta slowly start maintaining your distance from her. at least being alone will help you realize your true self value.here she is just bringing you down. not immediately but gradually tell your busy,or not well or just have other plans. this should firstly treat her right and make her come down from this false superiority complex she has. and this stand will generate respect for you even if she starts disliking you. its never ever too late.do not keep quiet any more about this because its eating you up inside. your mental health is far more important ! and remember- just be yourself and love yourself !

Answer 7

Take the statement you just submitted and make a copy. The next time you are with her, hand her the envelope with statement enclosed. Tell her,

"When you change your ways, and become a trusted, loving and respectful sister let me know because that is what I'm looking in you!"

and walk away...good luck

God Bless

Answer 8

Tell her to vget a life and leave you alone! Simple, or tell her your not the boss or just treate her the same but worse.. Thats a littole hard tohught you need to tell her straight up how you feel and if she dosent understand stop hanging out with her. Or just hang out less, and if it keeps up less, and less, you get it I think. Or inggnore her when shes bossy...Or do the same thing..She seems a little ***...Or copy her and be ya!

Answer 9

your fyne.. your sister is just more adventurous more outgoing.. tell her how you really feel .. seriously .. it will help and if she doesnt... tell her that if she wants to continue to spend time with you shell have to work on these things.. this is obviously making you 2 become apart and not having the relationship you want.. so distance yourself for awhile to let her understand the message if she doesnt respect your view.. your sister should be your #1 friend therefor she should be all the friend you need.. tell her all this.. and if she doesnt listen like i said distance yourselg.. she wants to fell incontrol..it makes her feel better (shes comfortable that way.. so change will be hard.. good luck..

Answer 10

well i have a younger sister that treats me exactly the same, even though she's younger than me, so the only thing to do is to tell her you've had enough, and even if she's totally mean about it, tell her to shut up because although she's your sister no one should treat people lke that