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My BF of 3 years and I broke up so that he could deal with his depression properly, we are still best friends, and intend to get back together once he feels ready. Two weeks after we broke up, he slept with someone else, he told me and said he was sorry. I feel like he cheated on me, even though I know it's technically not. Any advice?

2007-02-17 14:44:48 · 15 answers · asked by Bianca 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

15 answers

Well, I would look at it this way: why did you two break up? How, exactly, can one deal with depression better by not being with one's partner? I mean, if he needed time away from you, you can still do that whilst technically still in a relationship. There's nothing you can do whilst broken up with someone that you can't do in a monogamous relationship whilst still together: EXCEPT sleeping with someone else and claiming that it's not cheating. In a relationship, you can still get your thoughts together and deal with problems together. If you *can't* do that in a relationship, or don't feel comfortable doing that in a relationship, then you are with the wrong person or lack the emotional ability to, either through lack of maturity or perhaps previous emotional trauma and trust issues.

Who suggested you break up? You, because you couldn't deal with his depression perhaps, or him? Perhaps did he want space or was having doubts about the relationship but didn't want to hurt you by saying so? You saying that you two are going to get back together with him when he's "ready" raises some questions for me. Why isn't he ready now? Why did he feel the need to sleep with someone after you two broke up even though you were intending to get back together? I think you need to have a proper conversation with him and ask him what he truly wants. he may not know. You then bneed to work out what you want, and what kind of relationship you want to have.

I really do feel he's using his depression as an excuse.

Relationships are hard work, Just because someone suffers from depression is no reason to break up with them. It's something two loving partners can work through TOGETHER. I have schizophrenia and depression and anxiety but at no point have I thought of my relationship, "Hey, let's break up so I can deal with this by myself!" It's something I work through with my fiance when I'm having bad times, and our relationship is all the more stronger for it. Depression is often something someone suffers with for a very long time, sometimes it's a life long illness. You need to factor that it and ask yourself, what will happen if we get back together and he decides to have another "break" and possibly sleep with someone else? Is that the pattern our relationship will take? Am I okay with that?

You really need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. I feel that there are underlying issues there. I think he did "cheat" on you, if he intended to get back together with you. Don't let him argue that it wasn't based on a technicality. Loop holes do not help build a trusting and loving relationship.

2007-02-17 15:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica. 2 · 0 0

Honey in case you have already got evidence he's cheating ("So i think of my bf is cheating doing the web element I do have evidence, yet he hides his "cookies" temp archives that could hint what you're doing on line.. ") why might you opt for for to proceed torturing your self searching for extra info? basically kick him to the cut back noone merits to be cheated on. i understand its much less annoying suggested than achieved simply by fact i'm specific you adore him, yet love your self extra. No guy is ever worth your tears.

2016-10-02 07:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Well...Ya it might as well as be cheating he probal\bly broke up with you just so he could sleep with other girls,Technically he probably thought you weren't even atractive to him...somthing like that...? any way i wouldn't get back together with him he might do that while your together..or you should just ask him to tell the truth. LATA!!!

2007-02-17 14:52:41 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Chanel♥ 3 · 0 0

Is his so called depression actually guilt? If you can be replaced in 2 weeks, it wasn't much of a commitment on his part. If being friends is ok with you, keep it at that. Nothing more.

2007-02-17 14:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by justcurious 2 · 0 0

"Break Up's", and "BF's". Just with until you become an Adult. You'll see life, a whole lot better. You need to stick to Schooling and learning about Life. Before you go try to get tangled up in it. Respect yourself. `Cause this guy sure isn't.

2007-02-17 14:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0 0

well u no he should have waited because if you guyz were goin to get back together that wuz sooooooo rong for him to do
i dont no this is hard but i think u should really think it over ask yourself

1. will he still cheat on me if we get back together
2. is he good enough to me
3. do i want to take the chance of him cheating on me

it really all depends on you not us just follow ur heart and everything will sort themselves out

GOOD LUCK

2007-02-17 14:51:27 · answer #6 · answered by I<3CSI:MIAMI 2 · 0 0

hello he said that so he could sleep with who ever and not feel guilty what kind of depression is that .no technically its not cheating quoting ross you were on a break

2007-02-17 14:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

he might not have been with you but if your planning to get back together then i guess it could still be cheating, obviously he wasnt thinking about your guys future and has no respect for you or your feelings...

2007-02-17 14:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well... it depends. Did you make it clear you two were getting back together after the break? If it was clear, then yes.

2007-02-17 15:03:01 · answer #9 · answered by c3345 3 · 0 0

Yes your sign was he did not want to sleep with you anymore and once he found the grass was brown on the other side and not green he wanted back....kick him to the cirb like a bag of garbage!!!!!

2007-02-17 14:48:25 · answer #10 · answered by esmccann2 2 · 0 0

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