I have been dating a 39 y/o guy for 3+ months. While at his house I found a biopsy report lying on his floor, in plain sight with another paper only covering up half of it. (I was not snooping) It was for a brain tumor that he had been diagnosed with 3 years ago, with results showing the type of tumor that has the tendency to grow back within three to five years.
He is a very emotional and sensitive guy, which is very understandable given his situation.
Do I act like I don't know? Should I tell him that I saw the report? Do you suppose he left it there so that I would find it. I would have to believe he wonders about how to tell me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
2007-02-17 14:06:38 · 17 answers · asked by cptkmwallman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he wanted you to see it he don,t know how to tell you if i was you i would wait until he tell you about it.i know this must be very difficult for him to tell you. but be patient with him and let him tell you in his own time.good luck
2007-02-17 14:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by annjilena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may have left it there on purpose, so that you would bring it up. Making the whole "Hey, I gotta talk to you about something important.." worry off his shoulders.
But, even if he didn't leave it out on purpose, I would bring it up to him. A brain tumor (or any medical problem for that matter) is very difficult thing for anyone to deal with alone. By brining it up, it will give him someone to talk to about it. Believe me, the last thing he needs is the additonal stress inside him because he doesn't know how to break the ice on something like this and not being sure how you would take it.
2007-02-17 22:13:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to tell you yet, give him time. He's probably concerned that you won't want to be with him because he might have this brain tumor grow back. It's pretty early in the relationship for him to be expected to give you a complete medical history.
Later, if he still hasn't told you, that's different. You might want to try to start a conversation that gives him the opportunity to tell you, and if he still doesn't say anything, you'll have to consider what that means.
2007-02-17 22:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would act like I didn't see the paper ,b/c maybe he really thought that he covered the paper up good enough where you couldn't see.now being as though you were only dating for three mos.I think that telling someone information like that about their personal medical problems .or one day when you're talking bring up the topic of health issues in general speaking ,and see if mention his medical condition if he does that means he wanted you too know, if he doesn't say anything about it he really didn't want you too find out.but, no matter what the outcome is just be there for your friend when he need you.
2007-02-17 22:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by phillygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make sure its an appropriate time, and just say that you noticed that report lying on the floor and was just wondering if everything was ok and even if it wasnt meant for you to see Im sure he has been trying to find a way to tell you.... without scaring you so yes i would do it... good luck
2007-02-17 22:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Act like you never saw it. He doesn't want pitty love or anything..he wants you not to worry. It will just be weird when/if he tells you he has a brain tumor and you already know...
2007-02-17 22:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.
Yes, it's reasonable to bring it up. If it was in his sock drawer, you'd be out of line...but it was on his floor and you were presumably picking it up to be nice.
No idea whether he left it deliberately, but this is too big a relationship-tilting thing to not address.
"Manfred, when I picked up some papers on the floor the other day I saw...(what you saw)...I know it's not my business, but do you want to talk about it?"
If his name isn't Manfred, feel free to edit.
2007-02-17 22:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My gosh as him. He would not of left it out on any table if he didn't want you to know about it. If he is going through a scary time I bet he could use a friend. If you really like him, BE his friend.
2007-02-17 22:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by Marty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alot of times when people don't tell their signifigant other about things like this it is out of fear that they won't want them anymore or because they don't want to be treated like they are sick. i think you need to evaluate what you are going to do. Are you going to stay with him. Can you stand by him knowing he is sick. What if he is dying. If you can't handle being in this relationship because he is sick just break it off with him and don't tell him you know he is sick. if you can be strong enough to be with him, tell him you know and you don't want to change a thing.
2007-02-17 22:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by t2ensie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you have to talk to him. tell him that you know and that you love him (if you do...) and you will be there for him! if he thinks you were snooping or he doesn't respond the right way, he isn't the guy for you. he should trust you. hope this helps!
2007-02-17 22:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by purplegumdrop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well...If I were u, I would confront him and tell him that I saw it. If the papers are true, I would tell him I love him and that I would be there for him every step of the way.
2007-02-17 22:10:54 · answer #11 · answered by need answers & can give them,too 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋