He has always been home for his birthday.He will hopefully be able to come home for a visit in July. I know that I need to let go of him.But I miss him. He is angry with me and not speaking to me because of something I said. His girlfriend broke up with him and I told him that when he goes to Iraq and then comes home--that his girlfriend might be marryed. I apoligized but--he is depressed--and he is just saying things that are really cruel. Help. Does anyone have any advice --please noone say anything mean. I can't handle mean things right now. My tears are clouding up my eyes so I can't see very good to type.
2007-02-17 14:03:52 · 18 answers · asked by smiley 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Okay, give yourself a break, for starters. You made a mistake. No parent can say they haven't made any. He will forgive you once his broken heart stops aching so much.
As to his birthday, send him a letter/card. Tell him you are starting to plan his party now, but it will be held when he gets back and it's going to be one heck of a party, then make it happen. Save gifts for him until he comes back, buy a few things for the party whenever you can, have friends and family plan to help with food. When you know when he is coming, book a hall and dj. This is almost as good as having him there in a way because you can save for this and give him a real bash when he comes home. I do not allow contact from this forum, but my screen name is my email and I too have a family member in the military. He just left for Afganistan yesterday. I can't imagine what it must be like for you to have a son fighting half way accross the world, but I do know what it's like to worry about a loved one. If you need someone to talk to about this, you can contact me.
2007-02-17 14:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by kiera70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an adult. You are his mother, and you can make it known to him that you are completely against his decision and that you don't want him to go because you don't support this war. Or, you can respect his decision to serve his country, and put all your energy into making care packages for him, bonding with other Army mothers, and supporting the soldiers in Iraq, Afganistan, and other parts of the world. The truth is, he may not be sent to Iraq. The US has promised that they will be out of Iraq as soon as the new government is established... which is supposed to be happening this week. Also, he really may be passionate about this -- many people join the military for different reasons, whether it be that he supports the war or he feels that he needs life experience that he doesn't have. The military is not a bad place -- it teaches discipline, leadership. He will be fully covered on insurance, get school paid for, and maybe get to go to some really interesting places. It seems horrible, but trust him.
2016-03-29 00:47:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hun, this must be really hard for you right now and your son! I was thinking for a present as you can't send him anything right now, make him a 'treasure box' a sort of thing that you can put his Birthday presents in. Decorate the box. A box like the size of an office filing box or a packing box , you know for moving. You decorating it and adding things to it as the time goes by for him to come home, things that he might need when he comes home.
This will keep you occupied and help with your depression. I know I suffer with depression myself. My children are in Canada and I am in the U.k -married a British Cit.,i have seen my girls for 4 years now!!
Anyways , I think there is definitely separation anxiety for everyone! The girlfriend may not be able to handle him being over in Iraq...It must be hard for all of you!
Have you ever thought of joining a group where people can help you when you are feeling down and help you to cope with your depression.
I own my own group with yahoo and msn, but i am not sure that I can post the URL for you to join as it is a depression/disability group with lots of info and stuff to do and win-just something to help pass the time!
Take Care love xxx If you want the URL just let me know! from daisy dreamer
2007-02-17 14:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by Daisydreamer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is that im sorry for the pain that you are going through and his pain as well, its a hard time for him right now, when he gets home he will get over the trouble with you, i hope that all the george bush supporters can see the lives he has ruined, this story that you have written has been the unfortunate fate of many families, yet those blind IDIOTS that support his war are usually the ones that arent going through what you are right now, tomorrow will be better sweetheart i hope that he comes home soon, and he will come to his senses, hes just out of sorts right now because of his girlfriend leaving him and you are the one he takes it out on,
2007-02-17 14:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by waterboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can have a little get-together with family and some of his friends for his birthday, in his honor. Take pictures. When he's back and done being mad at you, he'll appricate it. He'll get over it. He's upset because his girlfriend is marrying someone else, so that's understandable. He is taking it out on you because teenagers/young adults tend to do that. You're the closest one to him and he is lashing out at the nearest person, YOU.
Also, he's probably going through alot being in a war. Just be patient and try to understand that it really doesn't have anything to do with you. You're just the easiest target, if you will.
I wish you the best. God bless you and your son, and just be happy he's alive.
2007-02-17 14:19:07 · answer #5 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Celebrate it anyway. This may sound weird but my grandma still celebrates my grandpa's birthday and their anniversary. She said at first it help with the grieving process but not it's just a way of celebrating his life instead of mourning his death. I know it's different with your son because he isn't dead but in some ways it has the same psychological effects. Same with when a long relationship ends with someone you felt close to; it almost feels like they are dead and gone. Hope this helps. And my best wishes to your sons safety. I'm only 19 and can only imagine what he must be going through right.
2007-02-17 14:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by steelhead3686 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you can't send him presents you can still get them. date them for every year he is gone so when he gets back he has all this to come home to. A loving card from your family is the most important thing he could get. Knowing you support him in what he is doing is really important. Let him know you stand by his decision to go to war so we can all keep our freedom here. Let's not forget al lost . be strong for him he needs this . Love him Miss him and Cherish him. Words , tell him to wrap his arms around himself and squeeze this is your arms around him forever. With love and respect.
2007-02-17 14:15:30 · answer #7 · answered by Tonya S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had anyone over in the army I would probably still buy them gifts for their birthday and x-mas and etc. Because as soon as get home he gets to open all of this presents. And it gives you hope that he will return. Plus I am sorry that he was shipped out!!!
2007-02-17 14:13:38 · answer #8 · answered by blacknredgirl92 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he can't get packages, I assume he's in basic training. Nothing is better that WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT from home!!!
My brother is in Iraq and with his birthday coming up late next month, I took a great big card down to his favorite hometown hangout for everyone to sign...maybe you can do something like that...
Hang in there Mom!
HOOAH!!!
2007-02-17 14:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by Susan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww...this reminds me my ex bf :( hes in the army too. Well I dont know if theres anyway u can find his address, ask his friends or go to the red cross maybe they can help u, u gotta have his something # I really dont know what # is it n his sargents name I believe. Dont tell him the bad stuff is happening at his house or with his friends, Cheer him up and try to understand him, hes seeing death ppl overthere n is not easy for them. Good luck.
2007-02-17 14:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋