what should i do about my father taking care of my nephew and his family?

Question

my father does everything for my nephew and his family-my nephew is using my moms car and he cant take his wife to work nor the kids to the babysitter,food shopping,he wont take h is family no where.he had my dad do it all.he dont even take care of maintence for the car,dad does.my mom died 5 months ago, and all he does is run them around.i said i would stay here to care for my dad but im at my end.it is really getting to me.my nephew has 3 kids 1 stays with wifes mom-the 3yrs old stays at dads most of the time-the baby is always at a sitters.they dont do anything for themselves-im a mom of 3 and no one helped me at all-my boys are teenagers now,i did it by myself with no help.he relys on my dad for everything-he has to be responsible for his own family!he needs to provide for them not everyone else.im thinking aobut leaving my dads house cuz i cant take it anymore-they use him and he lets them.my boys see this and wonder why he dont help anyone else like that.i just cant take no more.

Answer 1

While I really sympathize with you because I know how it is, the only thing you can really do is tell your father how you feel. My brother in law lives with his mom with his wife and two kids. None of them work. The two girls are in school but the BIL and SIL are capable of working and don't. They get assistance and food stamps but do nothing in the way of helping mom pay the bills. Mom does everything. Pays the mortgage on the house, pays all of the bills and buys most of the groceries. All of this and works (at least until last month when she retired) and takes care of her mother who is in her 90's and not in the best of heath. The rest of us have talked to her, but ultimately it is her (and your dad's) decision. It makes the rest of us sick but mom can't bare to throw them out since she knows the kids will suffer for it. Could it be that is why your dad tolerates your nephew?

Answer 2

Well you need to do what you have to do to make yourself happy. you have raised your kids and did it on your own and that is great. I am very proud of you! As for your nephew, he is different he is the type of person who needs help. Some people can't do things on there own and it's hard for us who can to understand it. i think you should just go on with your life and if your dad wants to help him that is his choice, you can't stop him. Just don't hold any grudges and keep peace with everyone in the family and live your life for you. Everyone is different and some people need help in ways that others don't, like raising there kids. So just be grateful you did your best and you are done. Now enjoy your life.

Answer 3

i think of that for the duration of the experience that your boyfriend is going to spend time along with his nephews then he could time table it for whilst he's off artwork and not make you're able to look after them mutually as he's away. incredibly in case you have college artwork to do. whether, I do think of that while you're extremely making plans on marrying him and being area of the family contributors then you could attempt to get to comprehend those young babies by using fact they are going to be on your existence. So possibly attempt to ease your self to being friendly around them. additionally next time they arrive over and play video games loudly the two tell them that they could tutor the sound down or positioned on headphones. And parenting is a 24/7 activity yet all the comparable no longer something incorrect with family contributors spending time and bonding with the youngsters the two that's what your boyfriend is doing. additionally I comprehend approximately no longer likely to the birthday occasion the two, yet lower back you're able to had made an attempt like in basic terms end by using to drop off the present from the two one in all you.

Answer 4

You definitely need to confront this situation with your father pointing out that he is not making your nephew's situation any better. Ask him why does he feel such a strong need to intervene? I wonder if he is seeking distraction from the grief he must be feeling which is causing him to be so busy with their affairs. I can understand how completely frustrated you must be seeing your father used in this way!

Answer 5

Unfortunately, YOU can't do anything. It is up to your father to put a stop to it. My mother does the same thing for my sister. It doesn't matter how much I tell her she needs to stop...that SHE is being used...she continues to cut herself a deeper rut. If he enjoys doing it, then don't take that from him, but if he is being burdened by it, consider talking with your father about it. Have you tried talking to the nephew?? Why doesn't he do anything to help out his family? My sister is too selfish (plain and simple) to do anything for her son, so my mom does it all.

Answer 6

I understand your annoyance, I hate people like that too but it comes down to the fact it is none of your business if your father wants to do this. Maybe he likes having people in his house.

Answer 7

Do what you need to do for you .Moving out sounds great for you .
He is a grown man and is filling a need that he has .
Try not to question it , Just except it and move on with your own life .Best of luck .

Answer 8

Well, start with what you have told us. Keep at it until your dad sees it, but be nice about it, don't push too hard or you'll just push him away.

Answer 9

tell ur nephew to get off his a** & take care of his own family. tell ur dad it's not his place. hopefully he'll listen.

Answer 10

sad situation. I hate users! Sorry your going thru this... tell those losers off and stick up for your daddy! you go!