I got married about two and a half years ago, and my husband and I are trying to have a baby. My father-in-law told me that I should never have kids because kids are "rotten time wasters who own up to nothing". It is really hurting my feelings and my husband and I have asked him to stop it with the rude comments. We are so confused about why he would say this when he is a father of four kids! My mother said that he possibly hated being a father, yet he says that he loved it. Any ideas why he would say these horrible things? (Rude comments will be totally ignored!)
2007-02-17 13:50:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Hmm....that's very strange. Perhaps maybe his wife did all the hard work and he just walked away from tough situations. I don't think that having kids is a bad idea at all! The only reason why some children are bratty is because of how the parents raises them...maybe he's been exposed to so many bratty kids? I am really not too sure why he's like that. But, you should tell him that you are having a family someday and that he has to deal with it.
2007-02-17 14:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by *~*RaChAel*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should sit down with him, and let him know regardless of what he says, you guys are going to try and have a child/children, but if he continues to act and say the things he says, that you don't know how involved you will allow him to be in the kids life. You don't want your children thinking the things he says. Let him know that you guys want to enjoy having kids, and that eventually the rude comments are going to get so old that you will stop seeing him. I Think the same way your mother is thinking. Maybe he didn't enjoy being a father and he is just saying that so that he wouldn't hurt his own kids' feelings. Keep your head high!!!
2007-02-17 21:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's odd. Maybe it is because he has seen how some kids are now a days?? Or maybe because his wife took care of all the hard work raising thing kids, and he only did all the "play time" with the kids? Or maybe he thinks his son cannot handle kids? Just be stern with him saying that no matter what he says, you and his son are going to have a family some day so he should get used to it.
2007-02-17 21:57:25 · answer #3 · answered by mrs.russell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, I feel for you. I would ignore him, and tell him that you are serious when you say you do not want to hear another word. Sometimes people just can't take the "hint" until you really let them know. As you know, children are the best blessing and he is probably just worried for some reason. But, that is still no reason to hurt your feelings. Be as blunt as you can and have your husband tell him the same, that you aren't hearing another word about it. :) He really must just be worried about the current times in our world, it is hard. He will be thrilled when he has a grandchild! And if not, try not to let it bother you. Good luck!
2007-02-17 22:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by MommyMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were your husband I would be telling him that those comments are very hurtful, because obviously that is what he thinks of his son if he says that. I dont have a clue as to why he would say that, but just tell him that he is hurting your feelings and his sons feelings alot by saying these things and that you would appreciate it if he would stop..Or just ask him if that is how he felt about his 4 kids.
2007-02-17 22:57:05 · answer #5 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is angry about something his son or one of his other children has done? Just ignore him, just because he says children are a waste of time doesn't mean he means it or you have to listen. If his opinon has changed you may want to ask his wife (or kids if she isn't around) to make sure he goes and gets checked for mental problems. He's saying things that aren't really appropriate which could be a problem.
2007-02-17 21:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by Dragonfly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe in a twisted way he is saying those things to try to make you feel better about not being able to have kids by saying it's rotten anyway. Some people don't know what to say, and end up joking about it inapropriately.
2007-02-17 21:59:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore what your father-in-law says, you and your husband are adults and it isnt up to him to decide on what the two of you should & shouldnt do. Go ahead and have kids, eventually he'll give in. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-02-18 02:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by tommi_ghurl_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father-in-law has "different" opinions, not as bad as yours, but it's hard at times. I have learned to seriously ignore him. I found that he liked it when I would question him, or get irritated. I now just act like I didn't hear what he said. It's hard though.
But as to why, maybe he doesn't want to have grandchildren. It's nice that your husband is supportive. Try not to let his issues ruin this exciting time for you and your husband.
2007-02-17 22:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by Theresa M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe his 4 kids never help HIM with anything he needs help with such as shovel snow or cut the grass or help him with the cleaning of gutters etc. He may have asked for help or hinted to it and none of his kids stepped up to help. His kids seem to be grown, so he is getting elderly and needs help. Ask him what he needs to be done around the house and tell his kids what he says.
2007-02-17 22:09:57 · answer #10 · answered by Tumbleweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋