My sister in law is nasty, says she wants to be my friend, but is back stabbing, twists my words and makes fun of me behind my back. I have to watch every single thing I say because she likes to throw information back in people's faces and use it against them.
I always feel (from experience) that I can't trust her.
Yet, she gets mad at me because she expects me to call her and be her "friend" --whatever that is to her...
I try not to talk to her and try to avoid her, is this a good method? I really just can't be friends with a person like this.
My husband doesn't like her either. What should I do?
2007-02-17 13:38:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Avoiding her is a good idea but she sounds really fake to me so its more than likely shes only pretending to be friendly with you to keep up apprearances so you should tell her right out that you don't like her and that she should stay away from you. I would usually say to just ignore her for your hubbys sake but you mentioned that he didn't like her either so there is no reason to keep up the charade.
2007-02-17 15:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by nobody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just keep avoiding her as much as possible. Being your sister-in-law, you can't avoid her forever, but at the same time, you don't need to be friends with her. If you stay with minimum conversation during the times you do have to see her, you can still come off as being polite. Believe me, I use that method with two of my SIL. Works very well for the most part. At least it will until she makes you mad to the point that you finally snap and tell her where she can go with her friendship and opinions. Then she will not want to talk to you anymore, problem solved.
2007-02-17 21:46:52 · answer #2 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are many ways you can handle this fallen sister-in-law. The most decent and Christian way to deal with her is to write a collection of all the things she have done, including speaking rudely behind your back. Also address a long letter in explaining this not a way a true friend should behave, and request if would not make any effort in contacting you. Then have it deliver to her home, once that's done inform your mutual friends of what you have done. This way if your sister-in-law would be too late to bad mouth behind your back.
Since she is your husband's sister, your husband should also sign the letter as well. I assume your parents-in-law know this plight as well, if not inform them. Please don't hate her, but pray for her.
God Bless...
2007-02-17 23:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and lived that nightmare. Only difference is my (ex) husband was very close to his sister, and she was a total witch to me.
I was not her friend, and made no pretense of it. I limited my contact with her to family get togethers only, where I made polite conversation with her, but shared nothing. If your husband doesn't like her either, then this is wonderful..you don't have to spend anymore time around her than the bare minimum.
There is no rule which says you must be friends with your sister-in-law. Personally, I'm not a fan of mine either, but I don't try to be her buddy. Luckily, she doesn't like me much either, so the polite and civil thing works just fine.
2007-02-18 00:22:57 · answer #4 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you call her and act like she's your friend when she's not? Don't pretend to like her. When she gets upset with you for not calling her tell her the truth. Say "I don't consider you a friend. Friends don't talk about their friends behind their back, twist what they say and make fun of them." Since your husband doesn't like his sister then you don't have to worry about putting him in the middle. Be calm and clear. She'll get the message. Don't talk to her since you, obviously, can't trust her. Be assertive. Good Luck!
2007-02-17 22:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm also having problems with my brother in-law's girlfriend. They live together so I can't really avoid her as much as I want. But basically that's the best thing you can do for yourself, avoid, avoid, avoid. Unless it's a family event, there's no reason why you shouldn't avoid her. For me, everytime I see my brother in-law's girlfriend, it just ruined the day for me, so I might as well not see her and have a great day.
2007-02-17 21:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by trax2345 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can either keep avoiding her or tell her why, its up to you. But you cant change her. Some people just never get it. Be glad you at least have an ally in your husband.
2007-02-17 22:32:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try and be friendly but not her friend... avoid subjects that she can turn back on you...if asked about something you know she is going to latch on to and use against you,simple say, whatever or I'd rather not discuss at this time... change the subject quickly to something more generic or something that she's interested in other than your life.
2007-02-17 21:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by double_klicks 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, just avoid her. When you are together at family functions be polite, but there is no need for you to be her friend. She wants you to be her friend because she has a hard time making and keeping friend's (I wonder why).
2007-02-17 21:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a sister inlaw like that. no matter what I said, she took a negative spin on it. just keep your distance and try to avoid her. otherwise, she will put your brother in the position of taking sides
2007-02-17 22:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by Media Man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋