Why do so many women lose themselves when becoming mothers?

Question

I noticed a lot of women get into the mommy routine and give up on all of their hopes and dreams. Why? I love both of my daughters more than anything, but I want them to know they can be mommies and fulfill their dreams at the same time. I mean some women lose sight of their life goals, don't take the time to do anything for themselves. Have you done this? If you don't have kids, are you willing to give up everything you ever wanted to do for the kids you may have?

Now Heather Y, don't get me wrong, I have always wanted to be a mom. At the same time I always had a certain career I wanted to do. 'm here for my kids, but I'm also trying to do the other thing I have always wanted to do .

Answer 1

Being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me... but I agree with you. I had my kids young, and I hope to finish college and have a career someday. I think it's easy to lose yourself cause you are so responsible for everything, from the kids and husband to running a household. It's so hard to find time for you when you have so many other people's needs also to consider. Sometimes I can't remember who I used to be, and that's scary.

Answer 2

Maybe because being a mother is a 24/7 job?

I know very very few women who actually have full time careers and spend 24/7 with their offspring.

Okay, maybe no women. I lied.

It all boils down to sacrifices.

But you'd think in this day and age post-Betty Friedan that women would move past the "female fulfillment is in babymaking" mentality and start to question old outdated modes (this planet is overpopulated with 8 billion people)


Women have more opportunities than ever before to get out of the house and have a life for themselves.


It's a shame that not all will take advantage of this opportunity.

Answer 3

My plan was always to go to college (check), have a good career (check), then take several years off to raise my children until school-age. They are so young now and so demanding that I don't feel bad about devoting myself to them almost completely. Especially during my husband's deployment, my kids need Mama all the time, and I love being there to see everything. My sister-in-law rarely sees her children. She has no control over the middle child potty-training, bully issues at the sitter's, what the infant eats or how much TV the kids watch. Being a mother hasn't changed her at all--she still only cares about herself. We all have to find the balance that works for us, because if we're unhappy, the children are unhappy. When I worked, I was very depressed. When my sister-in-law takes a maternity leave, she goes crazy. Remember that in some societies, motherhood is the ultimate goal, and is highly respected as a career.

Answer 4

Well your own goals are one thing but your children come first. So that means your dreams and goals are put on hold so you can give them the best life possible. Not saying you'll never reach your own goals but I would sacrifice anything for my child.
They don't loose sight of their goals but just push them aside for awhile. You have other responsibilities that are way more important than some of the personal goals that you set for yourself.
And no I'm not a stay at home mom.....U.S. Army Soldier
Loyalty, Duty, Respect,Selfless-Service,Honor, Integrity & Personal Courage...Not only for an Army Soldier But a parent as well.....
Just my opinion..

Answer 5

Hey
Unforntantly in a world dominated by feminist views it is often forgotten that some women may choose to simply be mothers.
It is great to do both but some people just don't want that.

I am a uni student and 24 weeks pregnant i will be continue my studies and be starting my career at the same time that my little girl will be going to school.

Personnally I think it is a personal choice and if you want to stay at home and are finiacially stable to do so then that would be great to.

Answer 6

This not only happen to womens but also to fathers like me , i have to kids and my wife and i have to put our dreams aside for take good care and time with them, hold onto our jobs, hold onto the routine, but that is the way is it , everyone has to make a decission , is our kids or is our dreams and goals, we just wait for a while, and in the menanwhile we enjoy being parents...

Answer 7

Many believe that they need to be there for the kid-and they can't give their kids only half of themselves. I don't have kids put i plan on not having kids till i feel that I'm in place where I've reached my goals and I'll be willing to set aside sometime for the kids.

Answer 8

My kids are my life. I love just being mommy and I dont feel any kind of void from it. I dont let myself go physically or anything, and I do, do things for myself when I get a chance, but I mainly focus on them. They deserve that and Im happy with doing this.

Answer 9

Right now I am more determined now than ever to finish my degree. It's a lot more challenging because I have a 10 month old,but he loves sitting with me at the computer and lots of times story time are my notes from class. But I decided that I was still going to be me just with a kid. I still go out to dinner with friends,sometimes my son comes with me. I still workout everyday,I still go to work, still play in my bandlimited practices now. Though instead of Grey's Anatomy it's Baby Einstein. I think a lot of women feel there is some kind of stigma to throw yourself into motherhood and forget about who you used to be. My mom was never like that,she would play with us and watch cartoons with us,but she would also have her grown up time. I feel that by watching my mother over the years it taught me a form of independence that I am able to incorporate with my son. You have to be willing to hold strong to who you are and what your dreams are to motivate your children.

Answer 10

For some motives. I specially answer in the being pregnant and parenting section. It shall we others know Im a mom and have only somewhat adventure. additionally, Im in order that proud to be a mommy. My daughter is my existence and for many women, their lives DO exchange after having a infant. So its no longer that they dont have their own own id, its only that there is a greater significant individual to guard for as quickly as and that they prefer it!