they couldnt be with me. I didnt want this one to end the same way. Yeah I may seem selfish but we fell for each other so fast, I couldnt bring myself to tell her. We talk of spending the rest of our lives together and I just felt the other day was the time to tell her. She's very upset and will not talk to me.. I feel like complete crap and totally helpless. I wish I could make this go away. I have always been honest and forthright with her, so this is just making her second guess things. What do i do with myself? Where do u think we will end up? Be honest and remember we are truly in love with one another.
2007-02-17 13:18:43 · 10 answers · asked by Carlos 2 in Beauty & Style ➔ Skin & Body ➔ Other - Skin & Body
If you are truly in love you will work through this. Get some literature for her to read. There are thousands of happy couples in the same boat.
The sexual aspects of a relationship are super important at first, because the intensity is so high and the feelings are new and exciting. However, in the long run does she want to give up the chance to grow old and grey with her soul mate simply because you have an intermittant issue that's outside your control?
I doubt she's that shallow. Give her time to think and become educated. She'll probably realize that herpes is not the end of the world.
Good luck.
2007-02-17 13:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From another person with Herpes...I know that it is hard having the talk and that sometimes you just want to be normal again. ok, no sermons here. You didn't tell her, you had sex I presume, it was protected I hope, and NOW she knows. All water under the bridge. As for her feelings...you know how she is feeling. how did you feel when you first found out you could be infected and before you had any blood tests confirming it? I don't know about you or her but it was the LONGEST week of my life and my little atheist butt was praying to anything in the air listening. So...what do you do with yourself? Same old same old, either you carry on, or you don't right? Those are the only real choses life has to offer somedays. Where do I think you and she will end up? Only the two of you can answer that, not a bunch of strangers online who don't know you. I think if you really honestly thought that she truly loved you and were completely doubt free...maybe you would have told her before hand about the HSV. However that is just my opinion as a fellow H person.
2007-02-18 13:15:18 · answer #2 · answered by Bunnie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dated for 8 months. Somewhere within that time before you slept w/her, you should have told her you had an STD. and how you got it and even who gave it to you. If you were so in love, she's now looking back at a relationship built on lies. Love can't stand up under lies. Especially big ones.
Did you do anything to protect her? Only have sex when you didn't have an outbreak (although now we're finding out that's no guarantee). Herpes is so common now, 1 in 4 people have it. It's not the end of the world. Just keep apologizing, telling her how you took special precautions to make sure she wasn't affected. Hopefully. Then give her some time. and be prepared because you know she told her family and her best friend(s). After she visits her dr. if she's ok, maybe she'll talk to you. If not, look into finding a lawyer to defend you.
Sorry, but good luck!
2007-02-17 13:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by FunnieBunnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is noble of you to be honest (but also a legal requirement). I imagine that if someone had done the same for you you would not be infected now. however for women herpes is much more serious. It can prevent you from ever being able to have a child naturally since if there is an outbreak the baby is at risk for infection. You should ask her to be tested to see if she has it. A lot of people have it and do not even realize it. Perhaps she will stop judging you then.
2007-02-17 14:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by djk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buddy, if she is truly in love with you, she shouldn't have cared about the fact that you have Herpes. Sure, it may have come as a shcok, seeing how apparently you've always been truthful with one another. She may just need some time to process it, but it seems like she's had enough time. You may just have to face the fact that she may be shallow enough to reject you for an STD. If that's true, see it as though all she wanted you for was sex. Truthfully, if she honestly wanted you for things besides sex, your Herpes shouldn't matter. Hmmmm...now think about that. Do you honestly want somebody who only views you as her boy toy? <3
2007-02-17 15:23:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't date someone I knew had herpes either. It is a highly contagious sexually transmitted disease. You should always be honest before you sleep with a woman, but why are you surprised that they don't want to be with you? Would you want to if the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak?
2007-02-17 13:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by kiera70 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your right you were selfish and put her at risk. You took away her right to choose if she wanted to be with you by withholding the facts. At this point it is hard to tell where you will end up, because she is probably wondering if she can trust you.
2007-02-17 13:35:09 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well before i started dating my boyfriend, he told me right before he asked me out that he thought he had them and i liked him so much anyways i did not care at all! it turns out he really didnt have them (it was a rash because of allergies or something) but it just goes to show if someone really loves you they arent going to care...id show her exactly what you are writing to us, thats shes really special and you didnt want to break that. Anyone can pass thru this if they really love you, its not really your fault you have them and your a person just like everyone else. best of luck to you!
2007-02-17 17:02:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you are really in love she will understand why you didnt tell her. I would be upset too, but if you tell her why then maybe she'll understand. If its true love then she should probally understand.
2007-02-17 13:42:41 · answer #9 · answered by ◘BRITTANY◘ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who in their right mind would date someone with herpes?
If the person you got it from told you she (or he) was infected, would you have still dated that person?!
NO!
2007-02-17 13:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋