WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus . so shut the hell up."
2007-02-17 13:16:14 · 16 answers · asked by justuraverageperson 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Oh boy, thanks for the tips. I just got married. I just hope things will be ok, or better off.
2007-02-17 13:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think i would stick to staying single much easier that way.if i ever find the need for a husband i'll just ask myself if i really want live with an incosiderate jerk.then i will answer myself and say wow i'm lucky.
2007-02-17 13:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!!! i loved it.....im not married cuz im only liuke 13...but like 20 years l8er ill b sure 2 watch out 4 that =D
2007-02-17 13:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Panda♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God those were so funny I started reading them out loud and everyone at my house got a good laugh!
2007-02-17 13:22:29 · answer #4 · answered by Fireman T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i ♥ the last one!
2007-02-17 13:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by ?s @ Y! Answers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These are pretty funny.
But sad, I want to get married.
2007-02-17 13:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay single ...and miserable?? hahahaha I think not...I've never been miserable since I became single ..again lol.......cute
2007-02-17 13:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by shasha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
those are really good i especially like the last one!!
2007-02-17 13:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg! i have to show my frends those they will laugh untill they die.
2007-02-17 13:37:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like these hehe :O)
2007-02-17 13:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋