How do you single mother's deal with taking care of the child without the father around?

Question

I had my daughter in April of 2006. Her father treated me so wrong during my pregnancy and now he acts like our daughter only exist when he wants me to pay him some attention. I have a job working for the hospital, I have my own apartment and I take care of my daughter alone. At times it hurts so damn bad inside. I just want to know, how to deal with it before I have a nervous breakdown.
Please help me!

Answer 1

Thus which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.There for because he exist w/him there is nothing u cant do.I was a single mom w/3 kids paying the car note, the rent, the phone bill and buying groceries.I had no help, no man and as far as dating, no time. I spent my time on line to ease my stress of i was living from pay check 2 pay check and only making 7.50 an hour and pulling o/t just to get by going to work @2pm sometimes coming hm @10pm sometimes 6am and I was a security guard.For all the use of my Internet while on line (also a credit card bill).I met a man and we've been together sense 05 but we made things official April 10Th 06,but he called me in x-mas of 05 that he loved and missed me by new yrs of that same yr he asked me 2 marry him and i said yes.U 2 will find that special someone,but don't search for him he will find u and when he does u will know.

Answer 2

I say yes. Just because he is/was a bad boyfriend doesn't necessarily mean he is/will be a bad father. For now though, I would make sure they only see each other on supervised visits, don't let him spend time with him alone yet, or for extended periods of time. And try not to get your hopes up about the two of you getting back together. Not saying it's impossible, but it IS unlikely it'll work out, and then you'll just be disappointed. So give your son's dad a chance to prove himself as a good dad, take things slowly, and tell the haters/nosy people to mind their own damn business. Good luck! :)

Answer 3

well the pain of a breakup is terrible. But the single mother part is fun. No one to give you ****. No one to question you. No one to make you second guess yourself or tell you what you are doing wrong. Your disipline style is just fine and not undermined. Or no one to under mine you if you are strict. I love being a single mom. It is not as hard as what they say. I remember when my ex left... it was an adjustment to do it all myself. But emotionally it was a relief! And in a matter of a month I had a routine where I was doing all the physical stuff myslef and it seemed natural. I like it. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself... but that doesn't last very long. I am happier and have less tension then I did when he was around. Things are alot better since he left.. and we have so much fun. Where do your work in the hospital. Cause shift work sucs with kids. That is too hard. I am going back to school. The shift work is too much

Answer 4

It sounds like you need to have a visit with your doctor about trying some anti-depressants for awhile. Being a single parent is tough. You work, you parent, you take care of the household...all by yourself. It can drain you in no time and leave you physically tired and emotionally spent. You seem to have your act together and on the right track - a stable job, a place to live. If the father is the one causing you the problem ask him to terminate his parental rights and then get lost. If you're wondering how to just get through handling everything alone, I'm wondering if you have any family or friends that can help give you support. Its not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Its the responsible thing to do, for both you and your daughter. You can't take care of her if you don't take care of you. And I'm not talking about monetary stuff, I'm talking about keeping yourself healthy - mind, body and spirit. Seriously, talk to your doctor. And then contact your local Human Services and see if they have any services that can help you with whatever you need. My final suggestion is to have faith and pray like crazy. I'm a single mom and when I'm feeling overloaded this is what I read (I keep it on the frig). I'm with you, so don't you give up!

Psalm 55:22

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee.
He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Answer 5

First tell the guy that if you cant be here for your daughter all the time then get lost cause you know what it is going to hurt your daughter in the long run if he is not there except when he wants to be. I can tell you this for a fact. i am a single mother of 3 And yes it hurts but you have to get threw for the children. and that is what you have to tell yourself is that you can do it and you have to do it for your child and one day you will find someone and just look for the posative and enjoy watching you daughter grow up.

Answer 6

I wuoldn't give the father any attention. I was a single mom for 2 years and it was rough. Keep working and being there for your daughter and you will get through this. when she gets older you two will have a strong bond. Don't let any man around who is going to treat you or her wrong. The best thing a man can do for his kids is to treat their mother with respect. It's sad for your daughter that he doesn't pay attention to her. Get child support, lean on your family and friends if possible and if needed, check out subsidized housing and childcare. There are alot of resources out there for single moms.

Answer 7

Sounds like you already have the tools to survive, thrive and live a good life, you do not need the baby's father around to be "ok". You are a strong person, and probably yourself and yyour child would be better off without him, less stress = happier times... you do not need a man to raise a child, you need a good head on your shoulders. Take care of your child, and a good man will come... someday.

Answer 8

Get rid of the guy.
Thats your main problem. Any man who doesnt want to be a father isnt a man.
Do you have close family? A mom and dad? Try to get them more involved in the babies life, in helping you out. Maybe they can watch her for you while you are at work or whatever.

Answer 9

First off you need to file with the courts to establish paternity and child custody. If you fail to do this, he can take your baby and you'll have a very hard time getting her back.

Other than that, all I can tell you is go forward and do the best you can. You and your baby deserve to be treated better than some man's play toy.

Answer 10

tell the father of your child to straighten up or get out and stay the ______ away..give him one chance to make amends if he doesn't ...than you have done all you can and send his rear end packing........you and your daughter don't need an idiot like this around you.....

I have a friend who is nurse and the father of her child wanted nothing to do with her or the babe after she found out she was pregnant....she has done just fine without him, not that there hasn't been some rough patches.. but everyone hits them....and she has a wonderful son........