we want mony instead of gifts...?

Question

we are having a very small wedding because we cannot afford a lot and it is just going to be me and him. after our wedding we are going to send out invintations for a big after wedding party for friends and family. Do they normally bring girfts to after wedding parties? we are going away on a nice honeymoon a few days after the party. My fiance and i have been living together for 3 years and have all the things we need (toasters etc) and we would like for all of the friends and family put money toward our honeymoon...How do i ask for that instead of a receiveing a toaster or something we wont use??? Will they still give gifts at the after party even though they aren't going to the wedding? What should i do?

Answer 1

You say "Thank You" whatever you receive, you can't ask for contributions toward your honeymoon, that is awful!

Answer 2

Although the wishing well poem is creative and kind of cute, I still don't think there is any polite way to ask people to bring you money. I definately would not put it in writing of any kind like on the invitations. I think all you can politely do is hope. Don't put your guests/friends in an awkward position or leave a bad taste in their mouths. By requesting cash you are first of all assuming they will be bringing you a gift or making them feel that they should, even if maybe they hadn't planned on it. Although most people probably would bring a gift, it's never a good idea to make them feel obligated, swayed or pressured. Secondly, if they were planning on bring a gift but had something special in mind or are on a tight budget but were able to find something they felt would be a wonderful gift for you that maybe they were able to get at some outrageous clearance sale for like 75% off or something which would allow them to give you the $200 gift they really wanted to give you, you would put them in an uncomfortable dilemma. When giving cash, the amount you spent is obvious and for those who cannot really afford it, it can be a great cause of stress or embarassment or they may just not come. They would feel stupid bringing a gift when you pretty much specified you didn't want any and if they couldn't give an amount of cash they deemed respectable, they probably would just avoid coming. All I can suggest is to take the focus off of the gifts. Get married, have your party, accept whatever gifts are given with grace, and hope for the best. Most people know that cash is the preferred gift, especially when a couple has already been living together. I would make sure key people (your parents, sibling(s) and best friend(s)) are aware of your wish (which I'm sure they probably are) so that if anyone does ask for a suggestion, they can make the appropriate one. You could also do what another person said, try returning items which come with gift receipts, etc., if you really don't want or need them. Good Luck and I wish you a life-long, successful, happy marriage.

Answer 3

You should not be asking for money of any kind, at all. That is rude and crass. If you cannot afford the honeymoon, simply don't go - not everyone has a honeymoon. If you can't afford a wedding, how are you planning a "big after wedding party"? - Doesn't make sense.
People are not "required" to bring gifts for a couple, those most do because they want to bring something to help the new couple out.
It seems so wrong to have people come to a reception when they haven't witnessed the ceremony.

Answer 4

If they know you have been living together then they will know that you should have what you need. A wedding isn't an opportunity to get cash for a trip, this is supposed to be a celebration of your love for each other and you both should be grateful for whatever gifts you will receive, money or presents, but don't be surprised if you don't receive large gifts or large sums of money, as most people will take into consideration your living arrangements and figure on just attending your wedding to party with you.
Why not have your wedding with immediate family only then when you come back from your honeymoon have a party with your friends?

Answer 5

No people dont bring gifts to after parties but if the after party is really your wedding reception party then yes they will bring a gift. You cant expect to be able to get all your gifts to get you money as a gift. Some people like buying gifts. If you insist on cash you will look RUDE and will offend some guests.
On your RSVP cards or as a little extra note enclosed in the invitation envelope you can say "gift cards to (name stores) or monetary gifts much appreciated"
BUT you should also list stores that you have registered for gifts for those guests that want to get a real gift. Because it is better to give them gift ideas or you could end up with a lot of crap.

Answer 6

I would simply include that a money tree will be available at the reception. All should get the hint if there are no other registry cards for anywhere. Also have your close family members like parents and siblings gently get the word out, if anybody should ask them what to get for you, to give you money to help with the cost of the honeymoon in lieu of a store bought gift.

Answer 7

People are most likely going to bring gifts. Call me old-fashioned but I think it's a little bit impolite to ask for monetary donations, no matter how creatively you try to ask. But here's a tactic to get around it--don't register anywhere, figure out where the presents came from and return them for the cash(sometimes people are even kind enough to attach a gift receipt)! It's a little tacky, but I still think it's more tasteful than essentially mailing out cards saying "give us money or nothing at all!"...

Answer 8

If you want money instead of gifts, then don't ask directly. Get a member of the wedding party (best man and/or maid of honor) to spread the word that you have lots of "things" and need money instead. Whatever you receive, take it with thanks, as no one is actually obligated to give you a gift at all; if the money is that big an issue, scale back the honeymoon to something you CAN afford.

Answer 9

this is actually a green leaf wedding and now a days it is not uncommon especially since more and more couples are living with each other well before they are married. I would just put somewhere on the invitation or reception card that it is a green leaf wedding. some people might ask what that is but its pretty common nowadays

Answer 10

On your invitations put the idea of a 'wishing well' in lieu of gifts, this will allow guests to choose the amount of money they wish to place in the well which you can use to fund your special day.

You could use something like...
We are getting married and have our dowries combined.
Dishes, lace and linens in the cupboard,
the marriage certificate has been signed.

Be a part of our “Wishing Well” wishes for the gifts that we desire.
If not for you, it would be hard for us to acquire.
Our hopes are for the bigger things,
We plea for your help to see what that will bring.

Giving a monetary gift on our special day,
Will fill our hearts in a unique way.
So, drop a pretty card in our “Wishing Well”---
Any amount will do.

And as you drop the envelope, make a wish upon your heart to come true.
Fancy this “Wishing Well” tradition and make our dreams happen too!

Answer 11

People may bring gifts but don't be surprised if some people don't. I would send out the invitations 6 weeks in advance. Let your parents, your in-laws, and close friends know that monetary gifts are much more needed than household items. When people ask where ya'll are registered, THEY can kindly say that ya'll have not registered anywhere because ya'll have everything you need and if they would like to give a gift, a monetary gift would be much appreciated.

Hope this helps.