Interracial Relationships?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and I've never been happier. He's outside of my race, and my family is furious. I have a large extended family, so it's not just mom & dad I have to deal with. It's hard for me to put my foot down and say that I'm going to see him no matter what, simply because they financially support me (for the most part) and I'm afraid they will stop. He is honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me and is being absolutely supportive in this relationship (instead of running away like most guys would do). How do I handle this?

Answer 1

Kudos to both you and your boyfriend for making it work despite your family! Definitely keep it up -- money is one thing, but it's SO much more important to have a relationship that makes you happy. (What would you think of yourself if you broke it off with this great guy over money???)

You don't say what your family is doing, specifically, so it's hard to say how you should handle them. But in general, don't let their negativity rub off on you. Maybe over time, as they see what a great guy he is, they will become more supportive.

Answer 2

Firstly, whoever said get pregnant is sort of a moron. Obviously they didn't read the part about you not being financially independent. I hope you disregard their idiocy.

So you've been dating him for a year, and ALL of your family is against this? I find it hard to believe that in this day in age an entire family would be against your boyfriend. But then again, the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree, so I suppose its possible.

My mother had this same problem about 30 years ago when she was dating a black guy. Now, imagine what things were like for her back in the late 60's, early 70's; this was a time period when there was predominantly more racism and interracial relationships were moreso looked down upon completely. She ended up leaving him, because my grandparents disapproved. But I believe if she really loved him, she would have figured out a way for them to be together.

And I think the same thing for your case - if you really, truly, love this guy - you'll stay with him no matter what. Is he marriable? Do you see yourself with him 20 years from now?

If so, then the first step would be to tell your parents this, and to explain why.

Depending on how old you are, you can take different actions. If you're younger, say 12-17, then I would advise doing everything you can to explain to your parents that you love him - but do not go as far to say you'll stop communicating with your family. If you have to, wait until you're old enough/financially stable enough to move in with him or on your own.

If you are older, I'm assuming 18-25, then maybe you should figure out how to be financially stable first - say joining the military or working full time, then leave your family if there is not way to resolve their points of view.

Like I said, if you love him enough - you'll figure it out. Use your heart, but don't be afraid to use your brain, either.

Answer 3

Well first of all...if you are a a religious person, ask God if this guy is the right one for you. If he is then eventually things should work out! It hard for some families to accept people from another race. Well if there is someone dating outside the race. I know how that is. I am not saying its right or wrong. I dont really know, but I know a lot of people that are friends with people outside their race, but they would never date them. So I dont know. I just hope I never have to face that problem!...However, dont do anything stupid like some of the other people said like get poregnant. That will make things worse. The person say they will not turn their backs on there grandchild, and I dont knwo your family to say whether they would but some do. That is a sad thing. So just follow your heart but dont make any crazy decisions, just take things slow and see how things pan out. Now All I can say is good luck to you and your family. I hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 4

I am almost sure to have an interracial relationship later on, so this question would concern me. I know that some of my family, especially my extended family, will gossip and tell me to marry someone from my own race yet I could ignore them for they do not significantly impact my life and I hope they will grow to accept. Since your family does significantly impact your life, the best would be to get them to accept very soon by arranging a meeting, etc. Another way is to find other financial support and get them to accept over time. I hope my advice has helped though it may be too general.

Answer 5

I would like to be able to answer more positevely but it is a tad difficult. Interracial relationships can be quiet severe if the cultural differences are great - only you know this as you do not mention the race. I if of age would stubbornly carry on with the relationship in hope that family may change there mind, but even then I would hate to upset the family even though it is my life. It is so difficult and all I can say that is positive is Good Luck really.

Answer 6

First, support yourself, financially, if it is possible. So, they can't can't use that as a crutch. Second, have you asked them exactly why they don't like him? It may not be about race. It unfortunate, but that might just be added on top of the main reason. Sometimes when we are in relationships, we are blind to negative aspects of our relationships. Take a step back, see where you were before the relationship and see where you are now. Has any of your personal plans changed? Your family's worry might be justified. Good Luck!

Answer 7

I'd say a lot of it depends on your age or maturity. If you are say, in your teens, your parents and family will definately not accept this relationship, especially if they are not accepting of the interracial aspect of it. I'd say you have to show them that you are mature enough to make your own decisions by dislaying you independance. You can do this through finishing school and establishing a good career. Seeing as they are financially supporting you, this is especially important. Show them that he is not a bad influence on you but rather he encourages you to make something of yourself. Your parents want nothing more than for you to be happy, and if you can show that he makes you happy but supporting you and at the same time encouraing you to be successful in life, that is important.

If you are older, say in your late 20's or above, i'd be asking myself why you're still depending on your parents for money and not looking for a job yourself? The fact that you are still financially dependant implies you are not yet ready to take life on my yourself. They will think you need to grow up.

Answer 8

How fair are you being to your boyfriend? I hope that you have thought about consequences of your actions before you hurt him. You know, this is not just about you - should you decide to leave him. I'd say this has little to do with race and more with the responsibilities of life. Will you always be dependent on someone else to make your way in life? I fully support loving relationships and adore those who are productive and joyous in life.

Answer 9

Why is it so important for your parents to support you. If you are old enough to have a boyfriend and be into a really committed relationship get a job and/or have your boyfriend support you. By the way it does not matter what the color is God created all men equal.

Answer 10

I support your decision to date whomever you wish. Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper as well.
I suggest you become financially secure and independent.

Please continue to respect your folks, even though they sound a bit racist. Many people don't even realize they dislike people from other races. It honestly comes down to education. The more you are educated on any subject, the less likely you are to throw stones.