I met my first and only girlfriend at uni despite thinking I was gay before it. 3 years and an engagement later we split up (not linked to my sexuality though). Since then I have been with my first ever guy but we not going anyway further now. But now a girl has contacted me who I'm keen on ... what is the best way to go: be honest and up front or get to know her and only tell her in the future if we have one. I don't want to scare her off but I don't want to "lie" so she might be scared off later. She's bound to ask about my past so if ex's come up do I mention the recent guy or not!? Help! Thanks
2007-02-17 11:04:52 · 5 answers · asked by leeloveemail 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To further clarify something ... the reason I made my self available to this girl as I didn't feel being with the guy is what I want ... it didn't feel right or close to how I was with my ex. So I'm sort of in a "been there, tried it, won't go back" feeling towards guys now. So it leaves me in a position of yes I've been with a guy but I won't again.
2007-02-17 11:24:52 · update #1
I think you have to decide on how comfortable you feel with her and if you think she will be okay you tell her if not then keep it to yourself, but what would you feel comfortable with.
2007-02-17 11:10:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. Q 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not something you should reveal on a first date unless you are pretty sure that she is open-minded enough that she won't mind hearing it. You don't want to wait until things progress too far in the relationship either. Any sexual partner you have has the right to know what your sexual preferences are. That's just common courtesy, as well as being the right thing to do. It might be that when you are with her, you don't feel like being with a man. Then again, maybe you will feel that way. Either way, DO tell her, but not on the first date. Let her get to know you as a person so that she can make an informed decision on whether or not this will be an issue for her. If you tell her before she has the chance to get to know you well, then she may decide then and there that she isn't interested. At least give her a chance to be informed before deciding. Personally, I would want to know, and it would make a difference to me because I wouldn't date someone who is bi. I'm not judging - just showing my own preferences. Many people these days don't care, as long as the one they are with are great people. Good luck.
2007-02-17 19:14:45 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need to be up front immediately. Like on the first date or anything.
I would want to know before i went out on a date with a man who had been involved with another man.
It would definately effect if i went out with him. I wouldnt. But, i would be able to be friends with him.
Ur gay. U need to stick with one or the other, because i tell ya, theres not many women who will date a man who is into men as well. Its not the same for men finding out their women like women too.
If u dont tell her and she finds out later, she will kill u. Trust me.
2007-02-17 19:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her up front and if she really likes you she'll accept you regardless of what your past is or who you've been with.
2007-02-17 19:08:44 · answer #4 · answered by tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eww...
2007-02-17 19:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by ~Strawberry Delight~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋