[HELP] What should I do? -Problems with an ex.-?

Question

[HELP] What should I do? -Problems with an ex.-?
So my ex (yes I know, he’s your ex so get over him, well right now that’s not an option so please bare with me) never gave me a clear reason for why we broke up. He told me everything in the book you can think of but he never gave me one specific reason. He has told me online that he doesn’t love me and we will never get back together. He is now avoiding me and won’t look at me (except sometimes when I’m not really looking at him he’ll look across the room at me and I’ll turn and he looks away, which is really annoying). Today I dressed up for Valentines Day and everyone was complimenting me on how great I looked but he avoided me more then usual, even though I gave him cookies. I gave everyone else cookies as well. All I really want from him is to either be my friend, like he told me we would be right after we broke up, or give me the real reason he decided not to be with me.

I know I should be over him by now, it was a little more then a month ago that things ended, but I can’t get rid of these feelings. I am in high school. I know some of you might think you should focus on your studies and friends, but both those things are under control. Can someone just tell me what they think I should do? I need some opinions and I just want some idea of how I should handle this.

Answer 1

Be straightforward with him. I completely understand where you're coming from girl, you want an answer and you DESERVE an answer after being in a relationship with him. I would confront him and ask him what the reason was.. if he can't provide one, he is obviously being dishonest. Him avoiding you even more on Valentine's Day combined with the fact you looked really nice and were getting attention for that gives me the impression that he still has feelings for you regardless what he has said. I would also tell him how you'd still like to be friends and that if it wasn't meant to be, it just wasn't. He told you that you would remain friends so he should be a man of his word.. but then again they are immature at that age hun. I wish you the best of luck, and remember, you deserve a reason. How would he like it if you did it to him? It's an unsolved mystery and I know you'll keep feeling this way if you don't get to the bottom of it.

*Give this some time if needed, especially if he's been acting that way recently.. and try not to seem as though you're trying to get him back. Actually, you should act as if you've moved on and you just want an answer.. but in my opinion you are the bigger person in this situation whichever way you look at it.

Answer 2

Well it honestly doesnt appear that he has given u a reason to think u could work this out after u split.
Just leave him alone, and over time, u two will be able to talk to one another without hurt.
I think he is probably avoiding u because he knows u still care for him and it makes him uncomfortable being around u because he cant give u what u want.
Give it some time and as u heal, he will get better.
In the meantime, dont pine over him. Talk to other guys and go out on dates. This will help u and him both.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Im not triing to be mean, just right to the point, so please do not be offended...If he gave you every reason in the book to break up with you but you feel the truth was not given, He either...1.)got what every teen boy wants and then moved on...2.) found a new girlfreind...3.) You drove him away by being to compulsive or smuthering and he thinks you have issues, or...4.) he has realized that he is gay.
You need to back of and move on, dont worry about being friends with him, that rarley works after a breakup. Go on about your life, let it go and if nothing else he will respect you for your strength. What I am saying is...IGNORE him...that will drive him nuts!!

Answer 4

Men say what they mean, don't mean to hurt your feelings anymore than you feel already, but he doesn't want you. Lets keep it real. There is no way that you just want him to be a friend, you are saying that with hopes that it may lead back into something else. You are wasting your time still trying to hook someone who is no longer interested in you. You sound as though you are a lovely sweet person, don't waste any more of your energy or time on someone who does not want you. Move on and allow someone into your life who will care deeply for you. Keep busy and try to keep your mind off of him, trust me it won't take long before you realize that you deserve more than trying to get someone to care, who has already told you that they do no.

Answer 5

I fully sympathise as I know what it's like when someone breaks up with you without a 'real' reason and how incredibly frustrating it can be. My boyfriend broke up with me almost three weeks ago, the day before everything was fine-he told me how much he loved me and couldn't wait to see me then the next day ...boom-he realised he didn't love me anymore!

We have spoke early on after the break up and even until a week ago but everytime i ask why we broke up he hangs up the phone and refuses to give me a 'real' reason.

i completely understand how frustrating it is,
but I think it's best if you try to move on-as i've now realised-it's really hard to get closure when you don't know why it ended but to feel better and get over him you have to just accept it (even thou it's really hard) and you don't know the real reason why.

Here's some useful websites that are helping me get over my ex ...

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/understanding/thinking/articles/0,,144_698944,00.html

http://www.enotalone.com/article/2726.html


One good quote is ...
"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

I hope things get better soon, hugs :-)

Answer 6

cherish the time you had and process your feelings at your own pace for someone to tell you to move on is crazy!!! Love and your memories are your's and your's alone! time is the only healing i know of! and if you live with that "tomorrow will take care of its self" then you will be fine!!!!!!!!! the ole saying that "turn it loose and if it is your it will return is somewhat true!!!! depends on where you are in your life!!!!! if too much time passes you may have found a greater love and a better understanding of yourself!!! hope this helps!!!

Answer 7

well he gave you two specific answers according to you, one is : he doesnt love you anymore and two is : you will never get back together. Why does he not love you? only he knows that but sounds like he just doesnt and I wouldnt bother him too much that can be smothering...he told you what he wanted and you should just keep your head up and act like you could care less....

Answer 8

Give him some space, don't try to smother him to figure out "why he broke up with you." He is clearly not ready to talk about why he broke up with you, if it is anything more than the reasons he gave you.

Answer 9

he felt that you are trying to patched back with him. the way you behave just irrates him as he thinks that you are still pesting him.
guys dont like that. just ignore him and forgoet that he never exist.
Find someone else. and in future if he starts to regret and wanted to patch up, dont even give him a chance as he is not even giving you one.

Answer 10

You should move on and get over him, maybe he heard rumors or something men are wishy washy and their excuse always is i am confused, let him go and find someone else.