It sounds to me too that it's the menopause, it was the first thing I thought. Depends on her age though, and obviously she could just be stressed about other stuff instead.
It's hard to deal with, but if you can try to not answer back (not that I think you did there) and take maybe a few seconds to think about what you're about to say to her before you speak.
I don't know what relationship you normally have with her, but if it's usually good perhaps you can talk with her about it. Maybe say something like "Mum, can we have a talk? If I'm wrong then I'm sorry but are you feeling ok these days? I was just wondering cos you seem a little bit more snappy than normal. Are you coming up to the menopause?"
Pick a good time. When there are not likely to be any disturbances, and when she is in a (very?!) good mood. Perhaps when you are doing stuff together. Maybe next time she bakes cookies you can do it with her and try to talk then.
Be prepared for her to be cross you've asked, because for most women it can be a very scary time. Just think how you feel when you start periods and you don't know what is happening to your body. Add to that the fact you see this as a sign you are getting old. Add to that again the fact that you can no longer have children. Even if you didn't want any more that can, for some women, be devastating, as if they aren't feminine any more.
Let's face it, hormones can make us women very emotional or irrational sometimes!
Before talking about it with her read up as much as you can about it. I've added some links below for you to get started.
Try to word it as you can't believe she could be old enough to be going through this yet etc. Don't make her feel worse lol!
Let her know that you are only asking because if she is going through this you want to be there with her. You want her to know that all she has to say is something like "not now" or "I'm having a bad moment right now" and you will leave her to it if that's what she needs.
Look at it as a chance to help your Mum in the way she has helped you, and a chance to show her how you are growing in to a woman too.
A lot of this will depend on your age too, but hopefully this will give you some ideas.
Don't forget though, that if she is going through the menopause that also doesn't give her an excuse to take it out on you either. Talking about it will let her have time to think about things too.
If she snaps when you start mentioning it then just stop. Don't push the issue. If she gets upset then hug her. Just let her know that if she changes her mind and does wan to talk then you will be there :)
Good luck.
ps, if you're really unsure about how to approach it you could always try to contact one of the agencies below (apart from the second because that is the UK health service and they probably won't be so helpful for answering emails), and ask them if they have any advice for you about how to go about it :)
2007-02-17 11:29:03
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answer #1
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answered by cymraesgwyllt 4
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Is your mom a single mom?If so it can be very stressful for her being on her own and supporting herself and her children.And maybe the stress is wearing her down to the point of being weary with worry and fatigue.I'm sure she loves you very much so maybe you could have a talk with her and explain how you feel and try to find out what's going on with her.Ask if there's anything you can do to help.She'll appreciate your concern and it might just clear the air for the two of you.Always remember that communication is the most important factor in any relationship.If talking seems like an impossible solution then try writing her a letter.Best of luck to you and God bless.
2007-02-17 10:52:50
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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seems like it sucks, but you should respect her. She is still your mom! Next time just hang tight for another 15 minutes until the cookies are out of the oven. Instead of saying things one way try to reword it. Like 'after I get them out is it okay if I go play?'
I know from experience that with some people you just can't say anyhting right. Either you say too much or not enough. She's your mom, you should know her by now. Maybe a simple 'ok' would have worked better!
2007-02-17 10:44:56
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answer #3
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answered by luvin'it 1
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To stay safe and minimize trouble, do what she says when and where you reasonably can: Take the cookies out. If not done, leave them in, wait until they're done, THEN take them out, and THEN be on your way.
Always be mindful of your tone, though I get the impression that this time you were in no way offensive or insolent towards her, in which case it definitely sounds like mom is off her "rocker".
Do what you can to survive in the meantime until you get out fo the house for good. Make sure to develop healthy relationships with other adults you can trust and respect and who treat you well, as this will help your self-esteem and keep you frrom developing a warped point of view about how to relate to, treat other, and be treated by other people, mothers in particular.
2007-02-17 10:47:45
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Sometimes when you say something, and you weren't trying to be 'sassy' , it might sound like that to other people. But it sounds like she wanted you to stick around till they WERE done because she wanted you to take care of it. When you said what you did, it sounded like you were 'being smart', you know? Take it from us oldies, always just say 'yes mam, ok Mom or just alright" and take care of your responsibility. You'll get in a LOT less trouble that way. Oh, and when you answer nicely, she wont get mad and then you wont slam doors and then you wont get in more trouble, see?
2007-02-17 10:54:38
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answer #5
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answered by La Cicada 4
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Hon, I went through this stuff with my mom years ago. She was going through menopause. It will eventually get better. The best thing to do is learn to control your outbursts. Go to your room, play on the computer, listen to music, etc. Then again she may just be going through a tough time in her life. Try talking to her and tell her how you feel. She may not even realize how hard she is making it on you. Good luck.
2007-02-17 10:47:59
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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What was your tone when you answered about the cookies. It's all about attitude. Maybe you sounded a little sassy? I don't know. But next time I'd just wait. 10 minutes is not long. Some mom's are just too quick to lose control.like that. Maybe you guys could just tlk, and apoligize to each other.
2007-02-17 11:29:44
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answer #7
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answered by ladybugjan 3
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Your mom is loopy. Breeding a canines lower than 2 years previous can kill them. She's nonetheless a puppy herself. Your mom has no theory what she is doing. Your woman would prefer to get dissimilar attempt done to boot because the male and also you'll't basically p.c.. some random canines. Please convince your mom to get your canines spayed. it may well be lots more low priced.
2016-12-04 07:39:01
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answer #8
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answered by ? 4
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My mom and I have a very unstable relationship. One minute we will be laughing and talking and the next, she will go off on me like a bomb!
For me, her bad moods come in waves, and I just have to watch my step and be as compliant as I can be.
Sometimes it helps to just talk to her, try to explain to her that you feel that she is treating you unfairly. But whatever you do, DO NOT ACCUSE HER OF BEING, IN ANY WAY A BAD MOTHER. That is probably the easiest and biggest mistake you can make. Try to talk to her as an adult, and explain that you wish that the two of you could have a more peaceful relationship.
Also, do not give her attitude or talk back. The easiest thing to do, is just do what she tells you to. Your relationship will be much better that way.
2007-02-17 10:48:24
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answer #9
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answered by t jo 1
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She knew they were in the oven and not done yet. She was telling you to make sure to take them out after they were done but before you went out. So when you told her what she already knew she thought you were sassing her. You need to learn to communicate with her better.
2007-02-17 10:47:35
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answer #10
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answered by Dovahkiin 7
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