Why is it that people insist that your a bad parent if your kids don't hate you. Ive heard dozens of people say that if your kids have never said they hated you then your not a good parent. Is it not all possible that you can raise your kids well and have them understand that the things that you do are out of love without them resenting you.
2007-02-17 10:27:22 · 11 answers · asked by nobody 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would say they have to respect you not hate you. I think most children at one time or another think they hate their parents and what they may actually be hating are the parents actions etc. When it comes down to it think more like Gandi and less like Hitler.
2007-02-17 10:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all kids tell their parents they hate them at least once - my son is 6 and I've heard it a few times. I know he really doesn't hate me - he just doesn't understand the severity of the word. I think their point is that good parents aren't afraid to let their children hate them - and I don't honestly think that the kids to hate their parents, I think it's an outburst in the heat of an arguement or a punishment, etc. Not all kids say it - and I think that you can be a good parent if you've never heard the "hate" word from your kid. In my opinion - good parents do what's right for their kids regardless of how "popular" it makes them in their kids eyes. I don't think kids will always understand that what a parent does or says is in their best interest. Not at the time anyhow - maybe retrospectively. I think that at some time in their lives - all children will be upset with or resent their parents.
2016-05-23 23:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a possiblity although a small one. I have found that the biggest problem for many loving parents, is that they don't take the time to explain to thier children why this or that. Usually children get to the I hate you stage during puberty when they want permission to do something. Your children have to understand from an early age that one of your biggest jobs is to protect them from seen and unseen danger. Set the ground rules early and stick to them at all cost. When you have to say no tell them why you are saying no. Because I said so is not a good response. If they are making new friends, encourage them to bring their friends home, so you know who they are haging out with. When they ask to go with someone you don't know, make sure that one of your rules early on is no haging out with people you don't know. There is a fine balance between being protective and over bearing or controlling. Good luck.
2007-02-17 10:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by monica_d_23608 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there I've heard it the other way if your kids hate you it's cause the parent is a bad parent. do not listen to what anyone has to say if u think that your kids and u as the parent are doing a good job and u have no complaints by your kids who cares what those jealously contaminate people have to say.you raise your kids as best you can by not hurting them in any way and do not let them see things that are that for thier eyes to see. teach them right from wrong it's all a parent can do besides giving them love and support.
god bless be well be safe
2007-02-17 10:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by sugarlove_one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer, NO. If your kids hate you then you are doing something wrong. I raised my kids on my own and we have always been very, very close. Kids strive for the same respect that we strive for. Whoever came up with that theory should not be a parent, they are probably not doing a very good job of it!!
2007-02-17 11:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sometimes as a parent you will have to do things that they will not like. But in the end it is better for them. You can still grow close to your kids by talking to them, asking them about their day, having them tell you about their friends and their experences. It is very important to grow close to you child and have them be able to tell you anything, even the things they shouldn't have done. Once your kids are mature enough you can lecture them, and they will listen, if the rapport is correctly established with your child your dissappointment is a harsh enough punishment.
2007-02-17 10:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by soul rebel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think they have to hate you. i never hated my parents and i came out better than most. i'm 22 and never smoked, drank, anything. I think it depends on how you explain things to your kids... don't just tell them no without a reason. my dad always gave me a reason for everything. if he said no you can't go out past 12 then he gave me a pretty good reason why. not just "because i said so" or whatever most parents say. I think all of my friends i hung out with in highschool had great relationships with their parents and our parents all knew each other and got along so they trusted us all so it worked out well.
2007-02-17 10:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by akp_02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not. That is an absurd and dangerous notion. It is true that sometimes, kids aren't going to like the boundaries you set for them, but you've got to set boundaries anyway.
On the other hand, if your kids hate you, truly hate you, then something has gone extremely wrong.
2007-02-18 02:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids don't need to hate you...they just need to fear you....
Just kidding. As long as your children are raised to be respectable, loving, and productive members of society, then your job is done. Whether or not the road is rough or smooth is null and void.
2007-02-17 10:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by M H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. Sounds like they are trying to justify their kid's behavior.
2007-02-17 10:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋