my 13 yr old brother....?

Question

My little brother has serious behavioral problems and problems with authority and my mom has reached wits end with him and is ready to send him away.... the only person who can keep him in line is me. We're 6 years apart and im 8 1/2 mths preg w/ my first child.... lately my mom and i have been talking about him coming to stay with my boyfriend and i for this upcoming school year. Do u guys think that it would be a good idea? I mean a change of scenery for him and a extra pair of hands for us with the baby... i just dont want him to be put away if he can be helped..... Any input appreciated .....

Im the only one he listens to, and things have been really tough the past few years cuz i dont live wit my parents anymore. My boyfriend is ok with it... he has 2 brothers that are a yr older and a yr younger than my brother so he wont be by himself...

he's not violent or anything, he likes to argue and backtalk, so im not worried about him being around the baby.... im hoping that his niece will give him a reason to want to act right.....

he's actually more excited about the baby than anybody... just because it will give him a chance to have someone look up to him, since he's the youngest.

Answer 1

I admire your concern for your brother. If he listens to you and it isn't too much stress or a situation that would be dangerous for your baby then you should consider it. Also, it would depend on how well he gets along with your boyfriend. It may be what he needs. Sit him down before you commit to it and discuss it with him. Let him know what your house rules are going to be, the consequences and what will be expected of him. If you do decide to go through with this do not make excuses for him if he doesn't abide by your rules. It sounds like he needs the structure. Good luck.

Answer 2

Honey, I'm going to be the one lone voice in the wilderness to tell you this is not a good idea. I am sure that you are a very capable young lady and that you have a powerful love for your little brother. But you have embarked upon a life of your own (as it should be). You have a little one on the way, and the one thing you are not familiar with is being a new mommy with a child living in your home with behavioral problems. Your baby is going to take up a tremendous amount of your time, and that wee one needs your total commitment, solely and undivided.

I know that it is very difficult for your mom, but I would advise at this time that you could offer to do as much for her as possible, physically and emotionally until the baby arrives. Suggest that she find as much governmental, church and societal assistance as she can obtain (and if you have the energy you can lend a hand in this). But ultimately, she is your brother's mom and needs to find the solutions that make her the happiest within her limits.

I'm proud of your unselfish commitment, but this is your mom's burden to bear--believe me, you will have enough tribulations of your own especially when your wee one becomes a teenager. ;-)

So save up your energy and happy pushing.

Answer 3

Grounding is solid---yet do no longer thoroughly isolate him from the family contributors. Did he comprehend the water become boiling whilst he poured it on him? Or did he in basic terms think of it become warm? I advise, did he get it from a steaming kettle? If he took the time to boil water on the range and then dumped it on his brother then he could nee extra effective than a grounding. If he dumped the water abruptly he nonetheless needs punishment whether it is no longer particularly as frightening. in view that his brother has blisters and could be sore then i might desire to characteristic further punishment: he needs to do his brothers chores and help him out. The good judgment: in view that youthful brother is harm and no longer waiting to make his mattress (etc) then older brother (who made it so YB could no longer do the artwork) has to do the artwork incredibly. He can carry his brother's e book bag, p.c.. up his grimy laundry, etc. do no longer enable the 13 get obnoxious with this, set some limits, yet IMO the older brother needs to do something to make restitution/ help the only he harm. Having him sit down in his room won't help the 13 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous, yet donning the youngsters books will help him. possibly if the 15 sees how confusing and painful existence is for the youngster he won't in any respect ever do something so cruel lower back.. See in case you will come across any information on how painful burns might properly be---seem at hospital and different web pages. i comprehend a nurse who worked with burn sufferers for years and she or he continually stated that they've been the main painful of injuries. those with undesirable burns have been each and every so often saved subconscious by using fact in the event that they have been unsleeping the soreness become awful and there's a minimize on what number painkillers you could take.

Answer 4

Wow... now this is a loaded situation and question. There are so many factors to look at. Will he have to move schools? This would not be good for him to have to move to a new school. Is there a way for him to get in to see a counselor? It may be beneficial for him to do so, maybe there is an underlying reason for his recent behaviour influx. As someone else asked: will your mother be able to contribute to his financial needs -- you are building a family with your BF- a baby on the way; you have lots of financial issues that need tending to right now without having the burden of your young brother added. While I am sure your love for your brother is unshakeable, your first priority should be to your BF and your new baby. Ultimately your mother and young brother need to work this out. It is fine that you be there to "help" for a while...but this cannot and should not be a permanent solution for your mother. She essentially needs to take responsibility for HER child, as I am sure you will do with yours when your bundle is born. Maybe be a help in starting your brother AND mother in counseling for maybe 1/2 the school year??? Then slowly have Brother move back to Mom's home.

Answer 5

Depends on how serious the authority problems are. Has he been in juvie for anything? Is it just not wanting to listen to his mom? How does your boyfriend feel about his moving in with the three of you? Do you have enough room? How does your brother feel about you having a baby? Have y'all been in any counseling for any of this? My thoughts----I suggest you please talk with your mom and brother. Include your boyfriend on this too. And, see about getting some counseling--try to find out what the reasoning is behind your brother's not listening, etc. Also, to get a third party's input on this, the counselor will be able to help you figure out and decide the best for all of you-your brother in particular. It's good that you are able to keep your brother in line--but one thing that concerns me is how he feels about the baby. If he were to be jealous-not good. I wish you all the best. and congrats on the baby! Take care.

Answer 6

You sound like a fine young lady and if you can handle a new born and a hormonal 13 yo boy, I say go for it!! Good looking out for your brother and mother! Families have to work together to get through tough times like this.

Answer 7

If you feel you can handle him, then take him, remember your going to be a mom soon, can you handle the stress of taking care of a child with behavioral problems and a newborn baby? Does your boyfriend agree with this? Discuss this with your boyfriend and make your decision with him. We can give you our thoughts and opinions but your the one who has to make the final decision, its your brother and its your house, and your the one going to deal with it all, not us.

Answer 8

let me guess , broken family. single parent . no father figure. and your pregnannt too are you single also? sounds like a class messed up family. congratulations. sounds like your family has serious issues and he most likely will end up hurting you or your baby in the future. he will keep rebelling for some reason. like no dad. no role model. he will grow up to eventually beat his gf or wife. end up in jail etc etc. so yes send him off get the issue fixed now. instead of having him end up in jail. and if there is a father figure around and he lets your brother get away with this. Id think the father was gay.

Answer 9

My son is like that and has ADHD. He is on medication and is alot easier to get along with. If your parents can't handle him and you feel like you can help him, do so but make sure it is ok with your boyfriend and that he won't be added stress to having a baby.

Answer 10

If you think you're up for the challenge. If he has serious behavioral problems, do you really want him around your baby that much? Could do more harm than good.