I'm not fat, and at a healthy weight, but my fiance is a personal trainer & sports nutritionist so I feel a lot of pressure to be thinner. He never pressures me directly or purposely, but there sometimes he'll point out that my portions are too big, or that I haven't been going to the gym. When that happens I feel extremely insecure and find myself wishing I had anorexia. Then I'll go for a period of time where I'll eat almost nothing and go hard at the gym, as well as take fat-loss supplements. I'll lose some weight, but then I realize when I do become as thin as I want, then what? I'll have to maintain it and never really get to enjoy food like I do now. I lose motivation and gain the weight back,but soon the cycle repeats itself. He loves me no matter what, but I still feel pressure. I get depressed thinking I don't look good, but it's not fun cutting what I eat and being so strict about the gym. I lose either way. What should I do?
2007-02-17 08:50:24 · 6 answers · asked by ccom7 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
The thing is even after gaining a lot of weight he's never changed his love towards me and whenever I bring up that I feel fat, he tells me he loves me no matter what and he'll be just as physical. So I know he isn't actually concerned about my weight, it's just eating right and having a strict gym routine is such a simple part of his life. So even after knowing he doesn't care what I look like, eventually my own self-driven worries about weight will kickstart the cycle. It never stops..
2007-02-17 09:09:01 · update #1
If he loves you "no matter what" he wouldn't be commenting on your portion sizes or the fact that you didn't go to the gym. Maybe he doesn't realize how he makes you feel when he points these things out. Have a heart-to-heart with him.
2007-02-17 09:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by margarita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U dont want to spend the rest of ur life with a man who makes u feel this way, and no denying he does make u feel self conscious.
What if u gain a lotta weight someday due to some problem u cant control ,what then? I dont think he will be there for u then.
Stop obsessing over weight, u r fine the way u are,only u can decide what u want to do. Dont let him bull you.
U dont sound happy already, get out of the relationship.Find a guy who thinks of the things u have , compliments u and not find ur faults.
2007-02-17 09:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by saltnsaffron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should lose the guy -and- maintain your weight and exercise routines.
You can switch around your diet so that you eat a balance of low-calorie foods and foods that you enjoy,.. and instead of just hitting up the gym, enroll yourself in a class that gives you good cardio and muscular work.. with a lot of goodlooking men in the class so you can pick a good one.
2007-02-17 08:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by amcut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to lose a few hundred pounds - the guy. You can not have a healthy relationship with someone critical/controlling. You have to be able to be yourself.
2007-02-17 08:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. If that doesn't work I suggest you start educating him about things that you have learned in your career suggesting he apply them to his life(even if it's nothing he would be interested in. He might get the hint.
2007-02-17 08:59:30 · answer #5 · answered by Laurie S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being soo self concious and eat until your full and keep excersizing and don't over do it. people..people...people... they never learn
2007-02-17 08:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋