hello,
its a saturday night and i feel so alone, i have a problem with trust? i dont know if it gose back as far as my mother who was an alchocolic and neglected me? or did it happen after i was cheated on most of my life, i was in a relationship for 14 years and he got someone else pregnant when i was on the ivf treatment, i lost it all the treatment my home and his family, i did start dateing again but unfortunatly the second guy done the same he got my freind pregnant, and im afraid thats not all i did get married after that and he also got someone pregnant when i was with him, now i have such big concerns that it could be me? i dont know what to do but i dont want to carry on like this? i have stayed single for 5 years and just started dateing 3 months ago and my emotions are sad hurt and i cant even eat as my mind is thinking this guy im with is also doing it, tonight he said he is not well and i dont belive him as i have been going on at him this week that i dont trust him,
2007-02-17 08:37:14 · 18 answers · asked by barbie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
please try and help me as i feel so lost and alone
2007-02-17 08:54:37 · update #1
please try and help me as i feel so lost and alone
2007-02-17 08:58:10 · update #2
well i tried so hard, but i cant do it alone, he has finished it with me, now i wonder will anyone ever love me? am i that bad a person
2007-02-18 03:55:20 · update #3
Maybe because of what your mum put you through you automatically block out certain things to not get hurt, the feeling of rejection can be a painful thing.And because of this you want a baby so you feel as though someone loves you for you without you doing anything to receive it.When you get hurt I've learned that you can let it affect for the amount time you give it,what I mean is that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and yes you could go into another relationship and get hurt AGAIN but you keep trying until you find the right one who respect's you and understands what you've been through.If you haven't got hope then you haven't got nothing.
And yeah it's Saturday night and I'm on your side feeling bored wishing I was doing something that makes you weak at the knee's, so you see it isn't only you!
Good luck sweet heart
2007-02-17 09:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by Sash# 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault and don't think that for a minute. Remember to love and respect yourself first if you are to love and respect others. A lot of people are concerned with trust, especially those who have been cheated on. You might of course be picking the wrong kind of guys, but that's just saying you should be more mindful of their character when you get to know them and not make any compromises. The right kind of man will understand when you express your feelings about trust to him and he will put your mind at ease. Discussion is always better than a jealous scene. Oh and you're perfectly normal, don't worry.
2007-02-17 08:54:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dennis K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I am sorry that you have had such a bad time. But you must believe that it is not you it is just the way life has played out for you.
Your next job is to start believing that you can overcome these issues that you have and prosper.
You could start by touching on those issues with your partner and gauge what his reaction might be - if you appreciate his response then he may be worth spending some time on - if not, then move with someone else (if you really need to).
2007-02-17 08:53:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This problem, unfortunately, is passed down through your family's genes. It's what's sometimes referred to as "sins of the father" in the Bible. And as far as I've seen, it's absolutely true! You inherit the genes, (the good ones and bad ones!), from your parents. There's NO escaping it! It's also what causes you to continually choose the wrong mate for companionship, over and over again! 'm not gonna recommend anything here, (because I'm biased), but I will suggest that you do your own research on this subject by reading some books on the subject.
It's "real", and you need to understand it and its solution!
2007-02-17 08:48:25 · answer #4 · answered by love_2b_curious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had a very difficult life and know wonder you have trust issures. But if you don't continue to try and trust people then you will not be open enough to be loved by anyone. Try your hardest and express how much you want to trust, but also make him aware that he is a good person and maybe he can help you with this. Take care Heather
2007-02-17 08:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not your fault so stop blaming yourself - those men were scum. You need to talk to your new man about why you dont trust easily. Dont move too fast in your new relationship and I really hope things work out for you. You sound really down and like you need someone to talk to. Have you tried to go to counselling? This might help you sort out the trust issues etc.
Good luck - I really mean that i was nearly crying reading your question and I just wanted to make you feel better.
2007-02-17 09:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stop trusting then your not going to have a healthy relationship when Mr Right finally comes along. Something you might try is to give men you date total freedom, they will either appreciate it and want to be with you or they'll cheat quickly and then you can give them the boot and move on.
You didn't mention if you live in a ghetto and all available men are brain dead crack addicts with no job... What kind of men are you dating?
2007-02-17 08:45:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't look for answers to your questions here. See as you have been through so much you could try going to therapy. Maybe a professional can help you work through your problems and help you be able to trust people again, or maybe find out why you choose the wrong men? I wish you all the best.
2007-02-17 08:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by Purple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my goodness i am so sorry to hear about all of this. I would imagine the trust issue does come from your past. I was molested for 6 years of my life and i am 17 just now starting to move on, and i had serious trust issues because of my past. the main thing to remember here is that GOD loves you so much. And i will be praying for you. Just try to forgive and forget and you will feel so much better.
2007-02-17 08:48:00 · answer #9 · answered by courtney lynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not your fault that you have a problem with trust. If you didn't have a problem with trust after what you have been through, then something would be wrong. If you really like this guy, then you should tell him what happened in your past, if he loves you, he will understand about your trust issue and your past.
2007-02-17 08:42:20 · answer #10 · answered by Wendy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋