I need help with my mother in law and my children....?

Question

She will not stop feeding "junk food" to our children.....my husband and I will tell her that they just had dinner and she will bring out all kinds of cookies, candy, yogurt, etc...., she was so busy at christmas feeding our daughter chocolate that she missed opening presents with the family (yes we asked her several times to stop) .then she gave them all their valentine candy when we told her the kids had not eaten dinner yet, then today...she showed up in the middle of them eating lunch and said look what i got you and brought out sweet tarts....we try to tell her nicely (she is overly sensitive and takes everything personal), we've tried to get my father in law to say something but again she takes it personal, one of our children is a little on the heavy side and we don't want her to have all this junk.....what is a better way to approach this? it's driving us nuts and making us want to stop bringing the kids around her.

Answer 1

Give the mother-in-law a list of the things the kids can have: fruit, juices, unsweet gum...maybe she just doesn't know what it is that she can give to them that you would approve of. Or maybe you're being picky???? Give the gal a break and save the drama for something really important. Godloveya.

Answer 2

I've had to endure a similar situation. My ex-mother in law watches my daughter for me while I am at work. (My daughter is 2 1/2 years old). Her grandmother gives her cookies, Cheetos, chocolate-all of the things that I don't give to my daughter! I've been told by my ex-in laws that they feel that I am "being mean" by not allowing my daughter to eat so much junk food. In actuality, my daughter cannot handle all of that crap (she gets hyper with soda, chocolate, etc!)

I made my daughter's father take a stand with me on this. We confronted his mother separately about the issue. That didn't work. I decided that from now on I would go grocery shopping and personally buy the food that I wanted my daughter to eat while she was at her grandmother's house. So if her grandmother really wants to give my daughter a cookie, my daughter can have the graham cracker cookies that I bought her. But I supply her with lots of applesauce, fruits, and things of that nature so my daughter is filled up and doesn't notice that she hasn't had any junk food.

I understand that you are saying that your mother in law is overly sensitive (she probably is EXTRA sensitive when it comes to you-her daughter in law! LOL) But what's important here? Her feelings or your children's health? I had the same issue just a couple of days ago with how I disciplined my child. I told Grandma that my child was MY child and I would discipline her the way I saw fit and if she didn't like it, that I would be more than happy to take my child to daycare. I never heard another peep out of her after that! If your mother in law still doesn't abide your wishes, you might have to give her an ultimatum and not bring the kids around her so much. You're the parent, she's Grandma-she's already raised her kids. I might also ask her if she ever had HER mother-in law do something that interfered with the way that she chose to raise her kids, and see what she says. LOL That might be an easy segueway to start a conversation about how she is going to make your kids' dentist rich!

Good luck and let us know how things work out!

Answer 3

Your mother in law is looking for the kids to love her and is doing it with food. If she brings junk food over throw it out.. You have tried nice and it's not working. Let your husband handle his mother if she gets upset. I would plan something for her to do with the kids other then feed them. I would ask her for her input on what she would like to do with them. I would tell her the food bit is done and lets work on finding another way to show her grandchildren affection other then through food.

Answer 4

Try asking if she would bring healthier snacks outs, not to stop giving them, just change the kind that she is giving. Tell her if your kids like a certain kind of fruit, some kids like raw veggies. Tell her you are concerned with weight issues, and would she help you get the children on a more healthy eating habit.

Answer 5

I hear what you are saying. Guess what you are not going to change Grandma, so don't try. What you do is tell you kids, "No you can't have that right now." Then tell them to ask Grandma to pack it up so they can take it with them. Then you can disprese it as you see fit. I hear you saying Grandma this and Grandma that. That is what Grandma's are for. You are the parent and sometimes as hard as it is you have to be the bad guy. Hello that is what parents are for, to teach children. Including teaching them self disipline. I wish my mother-n-law would think enough of my kids to have snacks for them. To come over and bring them things. For the rest of your children's live people will offer them things that or not good for them. When they are teenagers, people who don't see or know, will offer them drugs, alcohol, sex. Now is the time for you to teach them that it is okay to say no. How about growing a back bone when it comes to your kids and telling them NO you can not have that right now.

Answer 6

let your mother in-law take things to heart specially when it comes to your kids.she doesn't realize what she is doing to them at all. seeing that your husband feels the same way as you do,you can stop bringing the kids around her until she gets the jist that all the treats have to stop and if she still wants to do so then she won't be seeing your kids anymore.

Answer 7

Intercept the candy and junk food and tell her you'll take of this yourself. Toss it into the trash.

Answer 8

if she doesn't respect your way of raising your kids, then you should stop bringing them to see her, if she asks where are the kids, you calmly explain to her that you are too afaid for them to be fat

Answer 9

YOu and hubby need to tell her enough is enough or she will see less of the kids.