My fiance and I are having a wedding in hawaii at an all-inclusive resort so we don't have to pay for airfare for a honeymoon, we will just stay there for both wedding and honeymoon. We do not have a lot of money however. We would like some of our family to come but we cannot afford to pay for them. Should we invite them still even though they will have to pay for everything for themselves? Should i send out invintations? and if so, how do i word that in an invintation? Instead of having a wedding where people give us money, i wanted them to put it to our trip. Is it rude to ask for money for the trip if we can't afford to take them with us? I dont know what to do.
2007-02-17 08:14:04 · 8 answers · asked by marriedsoon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well.. you definately can ask people to come even if you are having a destinaton wedding. That will be up to people if they want to travel and come see us. There are defiantely invitations for destination weddings and they are worded very similarly. I would send out save the dates as soon as possible in order to give people time to make travel plans and save up money in order to go.
As for asking people to give you money for your trip... totally tacky to right out ask for cash and totally tacky to ask for it before the wedding. Charge it on a credit card and pay it off with the gifts you get at the reception.
2007-02-19 04:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sara K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, congratulations on the wedding.. but.. You should never ask people to pay towards your wedding/honeymoon, etc. Its tacky. If you are hosting a destination wedding, its not your responsibility to pay for anyone's airfare or hotel.. BUT at least 5-8 months in advance you should send a save the date card with the destination and then follow up with hotel details... It is your responsibility to host & pay for the reception meal and at least the rehearsal dinner. you should also make arrangements for other events (fishing, sailing, golf) and include it in the save the date package with the costs. Its also ok to have a reception in your honor when you get back, either hosted by one of your parents, close relatives or yourselves. This could be a huge blowout fancy reception, or a simple backyard bbq. Remember, most people go to weddings to celebrate the couple, not necessarily the free food and champagne.
2007-02-17 16:29:45 · answer #2 · answered by marcellac 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you would let your family and friends know by word of mouth, people would realize that they would have to pay if they want to go to your wedding. If people give you money, you could still put that toward your trip.
I would still send out invitations. There are always going to be people who cannot attend but would still like to give the couple something, like money for instance.
As for the wording of the invitation, I would not put that people would have to pay their own way. If anything, you and your soon to be spouse might want to have a party for everyone when you return. That way people can still celebrate with you and not feel obligated to pay to go to your wedding especially if they can't afford it.
Best of luck to you!
2007-02-17 16:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by Angela N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never plan a wedding which is beyond your means to pay for. If you cannot afford it on your own, then you have two options -- save up and have the wedding later OR scale down the wedding to something that you can afford. Asking for money for the wedding from guests is one of the biggest no-nos of wedding planning, and is considered very tacky.
With destination weddings, however, it is not uncommon for guests to pay their own way. If these are close family, you should be able to discuss this with them personally -- money or cost should NEVER be mentioned or referenced in the invitation.
2007-02-17 16:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi if i were you i'd enjoy my wedding in hawaii and then through a party when you return home, that way you'd be getting the best of both worlds, an intimate wedding and the big family party as well.
i think it would be cheeky to ask for money and not have them included in the wedding. why not through a wedding party before you leave and drop hints to all that you would prefer $£$ instead of gifts. that way you'd be able to enjoy your wedding / honeymoon at the end of all. you could have the party the day before you are due to leave, as a sort of a bon voyage...where you'd be able to see family and friend who aren't going to be with you on the day...i hope this has helped
hope all goes well for your wedding.
2007-02-17 16:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by frost7216 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a very small ceremony in Hawaii with a couple of friends or family, then come back and have a reception dinner.
I agree with the other person who said don't plan a wedding outside of your means; just because you are getting married, don't expect others to foot the bill for your dream wedding and honeymoon.
Send out a wedding announcement, and then plan for a small dinner when you get home.
And yes, it is rude to ask for a specific type of gift. Unless, it is the stipulation "no gifts for us. please donate to your favorite charity in our name if you wish."
Anyway, best wishes on your upcoming marriage and maybe rethink your ideas a bit?
2007-02-17 16:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's totally rude to ask for money. Sounds like you just should have stayed home and had a regular ceremony for close family and friends, and a small reception. That's what a mature couple would do who were tight for funds....
2007-02-18 08:15:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're set on having it there, then at least invite them. If they are willing/able to come, they'll find a way. Have another reception when you get home so those who couldn't go can still help you celebrate. Congrats in advance!
2007-02-17 16:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by lily 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋