Am I a bad mother?

Question

For circumcising my newborn son? My friend was over and she was watching me change Aaron's diaper (my son) and she noticed he was circumcised. She didn't put me down or anything, but she said how unnecessary and painful the procedure is and that I shouldn't of done that to him. That I've mutilated a body part of his for life that he can never get back, that sex when he's grown up is better with a foreskin, and on and on. I always heard it was cleaner and guys can get infections if they're not circumcised so I did it to him for those reasons. Plus I didn't want him to feel different around his peers, because hoenstly I saw one back in high school that wasn't and it looked nasty.

Anyway so does this make me a bad mother? What if he grows up to hate me bc I took the choice away from him? Does anyone have experience with this?

Answer 1

You gave valid MEDICAL reasons for the big-snip.

Does it make you a bad mother - no.

What if he grows up to hate me because I took the choice away from him? He will not hate you. You are a mom - your life's mission is to take several choices away from him. You would not let him "choose" to put his hand on a hot burner, nor would you let him "choose" several things that could harm him physically, or mentally.

Toughen up and get used to telling the future crumb cruncher NO.

I was cut, it was not my decision and I did not shoot my parents because of it. In fact, I have never heard of anybody going psyco because of a lack of foreskin.

Answer 2

It's up to YOU how you raise your child. What ever your gut tells you,then do it. A bad mother is someone who doesn't feed their kids,someone who beats their kids,someone who doesn't care. A good mother is someone who loves their kids,who cares about them,who makes sure they have everything they need MOMMY TO ANGELBABY: So if someone can't afford brand new stuff for their baby and use stuff from other people that's still in good shape they are bad mothers? If a mom has to go to work to support her family and make sure her family has what they need,they are a bad mom? If a mom has to use WIC or foodstamps,because she can't afford not to,they are a bad mom??If you make sure your child is fed,you're a bad mom? As long as the child isn't hungry then what's the deal? If you feed your child in public you're a bad mom?? So you want the child to go hungry? If a mom takes her child in public before he/she is six weeks she's a bad mom? So the mom is suppose to hire a sitter for 5 minutes while you get diapers? You're a bad mom if you let your baby cry for a few minutes? It's good to let them,because it helps their lungs. You're a bad mom if you feed baby solids under 6 months? Doctor reccomends it at 4months.I can't belive you actually said that. You think you're a perfect mother don't you? News flash darlin' there are no perfect mothers but they're are good ones

Answer 3

You are NOT a bad mother for having had your son circumcised! Actually, you did the right thing. He won't hate you for it. And it's true. it is HEALTHIER for the child to be circumcised. Boys can get infections, etc. because they have to be extra careful and particular on the cleaning of an uncircumcised penis. It has only been in recent years that more boys are not circumcised. And, it goes back to the days of the Bible. Boys, from what I understand, that were Jewish, were circumcised at 8 days old. Yes, these days it's done here in the states usually within the first 24 hrs. And, these days, when the doctor's do the circumcision, they usually put a local numbing med on their penis first, then circumcise. The only thing that babies don't like, is being confined in the papoose they are put in to stay still. And, yes, I had my son circumcised for the same reason you did for your son. Besides, it is far better to have the circumcision done while he is a baby, so young, than to go thru it as an adult. He will not hate you because you did this circumcision. It's quite normal to have it done. In fact, I have a friend who works in a hospital, and she was letting me know that I should, for the benefit of the child, get him circumcised. This is while I was pregnant with him, or maybe before. Please, do yourself a favor, RELAX. You did the right thing. Honest. As for your friend, that is her opinion, that's all it is. I hope this helps you. Please don't feel any guilt-you did the right thing. Take care.

Answer 4

I don't think that you are a bad mother, but I do think that you and your husband should have discussed circumcision before having it done to your baby.

Over 50% of all Americans have circumcision performed on their sons. There are many acclaimed 'benefits' of circumcision, many of which cannot be proven medically. At one point, American doctors thought that having this surgery could even cure epilepsy & even masturbation! There is also no scientific proof that being circumcised can help prevent infections.

However, the deed is done. But you really shouldn't worry about it now. There is nothing that you can do to give your son his foreskin back. You're not a bad mother and I don't think your friend was wrong to give her opinion on the matter.

I also don't think that your son will hate you for doing this either. Just make sure that you really know why you are doing something and research it fully before you make the decision again (if you ever need to).

Answer 5

You're definitely not a bad mother, and your friend probably should have kept her opinion to herself. There are different opinions on this. The Jewish culture, especially, advocates circumcision. There is no real medical reason for circumcision. As long as the boy keeps his pieces clean, it won't get infected - the foreskin is a body part like any other. However, this decision is between you and your son. There is nothing wrong with it. You made your decision based on what you thought would be best for your son, which means it was not a bad choice.

Good luck to you and your son - you are a fine mother!

Answer 6

No way are you a bad mother because you had your son circumcised. My son is almost 2 and we did the same thing even though the doctors said that it was not medically necessary. Since then though, research has shown that uncircumcised men are more likely to contract STD's and there has been a slight change in heart. It is true that the foreskin is extremely sensitive as there are a lot of nerve endings in it, but I dated a couple of guys who were uncircumcised and they wished that they were. Because it's a flap of skin, it dries out fairly easily and can become easily irritated and possibly even crack/become chapped. In fact, I think my sex life with my ex was worse off because he was uncircumcised. I didn't notice any difference, but he was always complaining about it. Also, if your husband is circumcised, not doing it opens up a whole new bag of worms as to of why your son is different than daddy. Little kids take notice to that sort of stuff. So relax, you are not a bad mom because you made a choice to circumcise your son. You were looking out for what you believed to be your son's best interest, which is exactly what a mother should do.

Answer 7

Are you a bad mother, not necessarily

Were you misguided? Yes.

Did you make a stupid decision? Yes.

Will he hate you later? He might, if the loss of sensitivity causes problems for him in his marital life. (like mine does)

I noticed lots of females answered this question. They say it is needed for cleaning or because of infections, these are all old stories put out by doctors years ago to get mothers to have their sons circumcised. 85% of the males on earth are not circumcised, problems are very rare, they have fewer problems than girls have!

You had more than half of the nerves of his penis cut off! Actually about 70% of them, add to that his glans will dry up and become as insensitive to touch as his elbow, not very good for intimate contact.

If a doctor removed 70% the nerves from a girls clitoris he would get 10 years in prison, but they think nothing of mutilating a boy.

Here is how difficult it is to keep an intact boy clean: wipe the outside like you do a finger! THE MAIN THING TO REMEMBER IS: DO NOT TRY TO PUSH HIS SKIN BACK, DO NOT LET ANYONE (DOCTORS INCLUDED) PUSH HIS SKIN BACK. It is not lose yet! Forced retraction (often by doctors) is the main problem an intact boy faces, doctors do this to force circumcision on a boy. When he is older the foreskin will separate and become retractable. Washing it then will be a matter of him skinning it back in the shower, washing it with a mild soap, pat it dry and recover. Was that so difficult for you mom? Will he do it? Well you know how boys hate to handle their willies. I would rather wash my willie for an hour than shave my face, and my cut willie isn't near as much fun to wash as an unmutilated one would be. If a boy can learn to shave his face he can wash his willie.

Then there is the locker room thing. Guys don't talk about another guy's junk. Guys don't admit to looking at another guy's junk. If a boy is going to be picked on, he is going to get picked on no mater what, the bullies always find something, you can't possibly eliminate all the things they will abuse a victim about, so why mutilate your son because there may be bullies?

Again will your son hate you? Probably not. But all you mothers should know that more and more men are feeling resentment for what has been stolen from them, he just might ask you in a few decades, or maybe, fifty years "What gave you the right?"

If you doubt that, you can just ask my mother.

Answer 8

No.. you are not a bad mother. It's true that men get more painful infections when they haven't been circumcised. I have two sons and both my children slept thought theirs. So if it was that painful I would think my children would at least wake up! You are a good mom for thinking of your son's future sexual health. I have seen picture's of uncircumcised men with warts and herpes under their fore skin, It is very painful looking and it spreads worse since it can't heal as well, as it isn't getting air all the time. My grandpa was in his 80's and he had to be circumcised at 82 because his fore skin grew over and he could no longer urinate! The majority of men today are circumcised so you son won't feel any different. As for him hating you.. I highly doubt that. He will never remember having a fore skin! My sons have no bad effects from it, in fact their doctor has said that they are very well endowed for their age! Don't know how that happened... it must have skipped a generation ! ;o) Just a tip for the future: Never let anyone else tell you you are raising your child wrong. No one knows better than you, as you are his mother. Trust your instincts and judgement and you can never go wrong!

Answer 9

You were right to get him circumcised and for the reasons you knew. You did the right thing, everyone has an opinion and will share things, just remember you have your reasons for doing the things you do and be the best parent you can be. I heard that it is more painful for and adult and your son wont even remember the pain. So be thankful you chose to do it. And no you are not a bad mother for circumcising your son.

Answer 10

i don't remember the pain of being circumcised as a baby. I do know that I'm glad that I am circumcised and I would not want to have to go through that as an adult. A circumcised dick is much cleaner and healthier. I've never heard any adult male complain that they were circumcised, I've certainly never heard a woman complain. Your child will become a young man and then a man. He will be seen in gym class and eventually by his mate. An uncircumcised male would be more of an odity. Women tell me that they have strong preferences favoring circumcision. You did right.

Answer 11

you are not a bad mother. and your friend should look into all of the facts before judging. because yes it is way more easier to get an infection when your not circumcised if it's not cleaned right. when the boy gets a little older it will be him who cleans that area and will have a harder time with extra skin then not.
when they are circumcised yes it's painful but he will never remember it. and it's the shot that they get witch hurts not them actually cutting off the skin. and my little brother wasn't circumcised and when he became a teenager he wanted it done because he was really embarrassed by the idea. other good reason is when they get older and want the procedure done. it is extremely painful worse then before so it's better you did it now!