I just recently joined a Ballroom Association and taken on a new dance partner. I knew he had an attraction to me and I thought I would be able to control my attraction to him, but it seems I was wrong. The problem: I have a boyfriend! I feel like my attraction to my dance partner might be strengthened by the fact that I am in a long-distance relationship 7 months out of the year. I don't want to enter a relationship with my dance partner because I'm in love my boyfriend. But, my dance partner is determined to pursue me even though he knows I have a boyfriend! I've tried my best to say "no" to my dance partner's many efforts, but I think he takes it as "try harder!" (Okay, I come off as a little flirty.) But, this needs to stop before something terrible happens. I don't want to make things weird between me and my partner because I see him almost everyday. How do I say "you need to stop dropping by, calling me sweetheart and asking me out!" in a way that's not offensive? Help!
2007-02-17 07:17:24 · 25 answers · asked by dumdum4eva 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No means no. Saying "you need to stop dropping by, calling me sweetheart and asking me out!" is perfectly acceptable. Obviously the man has no respect for you if he's becoming aggressive knowing you have a boyfriend. Who cares if you offend him? He's the one insulting YOU but trying to get you to act like a cheating whore.
2007-02-17 07:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is ONLY ONE way to stop this. You will not like it. Join a new dance club. Tell your dance partner to Tango with some other woman. If he is not mature enough to just have you for the dance on the floor then you will Foxtrot off to another place. Don't Waltz around the problem, as you will not be able to Swing your way out of this Salsa, situation. Give your mind a Break dance and leave while your Square partner is spinning from your NO's. Leave now. Don't keep Dipping or Spinning. End the Music .....Stop Period. Good Luck
2007-02-17 15:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by NIck N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you initiate anything between your dance partner, he may pursue you, but will not take it to the next level. If he's kind of sleazy and actually TRIES to take it there without your consent then that could be considered sexual assault, and all you have to do is remind him of that and he'll go cold faster than you can finish the sentence.
Long distance relationships rarely work out, and if this is going to happen for a very long period of time you should consider ending your relationship with your bf, at least for now, because you'll have many more problems where this came from.
Also, don't think your bf is going to be as calm and in control of the situation as you are. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in a similar situation right now.
2007-02-17 15:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by dmlk2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you be in love with your boyfriend if you have the guts to even flirt with someone??
plus think of what kind of a person your dance partner is, if he knows you have a bf (hopefully you have told him!!) and still keeps persuing you. Its just not right. If he really liked you that much, he would respect your wish to stay with your bf.
You are not being fair to your bf, who loves you, and is hundereds of miles away by flirting with someone and considering his answers.
I have to give you thumbs up for not doing anything so far.
You just need to be really firm and explain to him "look, I have a bf, I don't appreciate your passes at me. I do want to continue to be your dance partner, so don't make this weird by saying the things you do. This needs to stop." If he doesn't, plain out and simple you need to leave that dance partner and possibly go join another dance program.
Good luck!
2007-02-17 15:23:24 · answer #4 · answered by jpcjulia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you know the answer to your own question. if you truly and deeply love your boyfriend then be strait forward w/ your dance partner and tell him too stop. it's OK to find your dance partner attractive, and i know that women want someone to make them feel special and important every second of every day. but there's no such thing as accidentally sleeping w/ someone. if you love your boyfriend do the right thing and set the other guy straight. if you don't love him, break it off w/ him before you sleep w/ the next cute guy that smiles in your general direction.
2007-02-17 15:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by heynow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that if you are playing around with your dance partner, your boyfriend might not be that important to you. if you truely love someone, you would be strictly there for dance and nothing else, and this guy would get the picture if all you did was dance and not flirt;), so if you are serious about your boyfriend, then ask for a different dance partner, he shoudl get the point, if you like the feeling of the flirting, you might want to re-think the boyfriend.
2007-02-17 15:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by dawnlovesbob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find another dance class. I have found that temptation sometimes is so great that some people eventually give in. I say long distance yourself from the dance partner and focus on your BF that you love.
2007-02-17 15:22:19 · answer #7 · answered by I do what I want.. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say no. I've been in a long distance relationship and it was hard but it was worth it. Your just feeling vulnerable because your alone right now. It's either one or the other. Just think about how you would feel if your boyfriend did that to you.
2007-02-17 15:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Cristina 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just basically answered your own questions!!! Tell him no! Change your number, and or switch partners! You have a dedication to your boyfriend so stress that!! Tell him to back off becuase you are taken...PLAIN AND SIMPLE!! He needs to hear it without any hesitation... You shouldn't be FLIRTY either!
2007-02-17 15:23:15 · answer #9 · answered by ♥xvioletx1882♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you decide that you're truly not interested (and being a "little flirty" is definitely sending the opposite signal to him....thus his efforts continue) then he will see that you are serious and he'll leave you alone. Sounds like right now your actions and words don't match.
2007-02-17 15:21:42 · answer #10 · answered by TM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋