failure to launch?

Question

Couldn't find a job for over a year even though I'm a college graduate. After I finally found one last month, I got fired. Still can't find a new job & my funds are running low. My baby's father pays child support when he wants to and the state won't do anything about it. My friends (if you can even call them that) don't call me & I don't call them.
My father is fed up with me and I'm a disgrace to my mom. I don't feel like doing anything and I hate to leave the house. The only things that make me happy are movies, books, and junk food. How can I fix my problem?

Answer 1

Wow, you've got a lot going on. Sorry to hear life is so difficult for you. I can't say I know what you should do, but I have a few ideas. I hope they help:

I'd start small and prioritize if I were you. First, you have to make money to live on, so you should get a job. I know it's tough to take less than you know you're worth, but at this point you need to take any job that pays and has the flexibility to let you take care of your child. You might have to take more than one job to make ends meet. If so, do it. There are many people in the world that do.

Judging by your interests, I'd suggest working at a book store, library, movie theater, movie rental store or something like that. I'd stay away from the junk food. Once everything else starts to settle down you can go back to finding a good job in your field. It won't hurt to leave your resume out there, but use energy to take care of other things first.

Getting a job will probably help with your parents. I'd try to get on their good side because they are in the best position to help you. Ask their forgiveness, tell them your plan, and they may just feel better about letting you stay in the house or watching the child.

You should look for some resources that can help you through this difficult time. Your local church or community center will probably have some programs designed to aid those in need.

See if you can find a mental health facility that will take on disadvantaged people too. Many use a sliding scale that matches your income. A professional to talk to about all these difficult aspects of your life can really help. Again, your community should have such resources. Walk into City Hall and ask.

Friends, I'm afraid, will have to wait. They may not, as you say, be friends anymore, but you won't have time for them right now anyway. As time goes on you will likely make new friends where you work or your old friends will start calling again. I'm not condoning their behavior, but people do tend to stay away from other people with problems. It's sad but true.

In this situation, you will need to build up your bank account, so cut back on expenses, and save what you can. Eventually the money will be there to get your own place or take your child's father to court. He should be paying regularly, and a good lawyer should be able to help you figure out how to do that. But that's best left for later. The expense and time and energy something like that takes will keep you from getting to the highest priorities.

I hope with a little hard work things start to fall into place for you. Best of luck.

Answer 2

The state won't do anything about it??? You mean your fellow citizens, your fellow taxpayers?? And just what is it you expect them to do about your situaction??

You're an adult, stop walking around with your hand out looking for someone else to clean up after you. This country was founded on the right to pursue happiness but not the guarantee of it!

My answer to your question. Improve yourself and you will find happiness. There are people in worse positions that you are in who are able to find employment. Maybe you're not looking hard enough. Instead of watching movies and eating junk food, try to improve your marketable skills, work longer hours, work 2 jobs. You might not find the job of your dreams right away but who does really?? Use each job as a stepping stool that gets you closer to that job of your dreams.

True happiness comes from the ultimate realization that one's life is the way it is because of the choices that one has made!!

Answer 3

GET A JOB! Even if it is at a fast food place. you have to support your kid. don't worry about your baby's daddy, he will end up paying in some way. Find out your state laws in child support, some will make him do jail time if he doesn't start paying.

Answer 4

Keep Pushing yourself no matter what. Drag yourself out of the house if you have to. Keep going. It's only a little moment in your life. Remember that.