2nd child on the way and scared.?

Question

I'm having my second child my son is 1 and i'm scared about having 2 young children and my husband will be deployed so i'll be doing it pretty much alone for about 4 months. How can I feel better and get motivated for this baby's arrival in June?

Answer 1

Start teaching your son to wait now, so that it is not something that happens with the baby. As you pregnancy progresses you won't be able to hold him as much - you might want to doing that now too to lessen the obvious baby wrecked my world thing.

Ultimately I am saying just kind of slow things down for yourself now and get your child used to a slower pace that is not so reliant upon you touching him or looking at him all the time. Then when the baby comes you have a chance of him having some patience while you change the baby etc. A calm, peaceful, slow and patient household adjusts better to change.

I will also caution you that I have heard post partum depression is most common in the 2nd pregnancy, but there are things that you can do to protect yourself from that:

Wild Yam Cream - http://www.mynsp.com/carole/products/guide.aspx?stockNum=4936
This is a topical cream that you use on your tummy, arms etc. to help your body replenish it's progesterone - something that we lose a lot of in each pregnancy and then have a hard time replenishing. If you don't use yam cream, eat a lot of organic, locally grown yams. I used it through the pregnancy and afterwards with both my pregnancies and I think it made a real difference.

SAMe - http://www.mynsp.com/carole/products/guide.aspx?stockNum=1845
I was hit hard by post partum depression with my second child and this product was an amazing, all natural way for me to help get out of it. I didn't use it for very long and I had no trouble stopping it. It helped me to calm down and ease the fears of my new situation.

The bottom line is that millions of women since the dawn of time have dealt with these things and very few of us knew how to do it without any experience. We all find our own way and our kids love us even if we have to put them in the crib and let them cry while we go into our own room and calm down. If I can do it, you can do it.

Peace!

Answer 2

I have 3 children. Ages 7, 4, and 3. My husband is in Korea right now so I understand what you are going through. He has been deployed several times to include, Iraq, Iran, Baghdad, Afghanistan and Kosovo. It can be rough, but you will definately get through it. One of the things that I did was to take as MANY pics as possible. Start learning how to scrapbook and put together a scrapbook for HIM when he returns home. Then once he gets home take a final photo of him in uniform with the child to "end" that scrapbook. Make a new one for each time he deploys. It's a way you can do something for him while he's not there. You can have your 1 yr old pick out colors and stuff for each page, which helps them learn the basic colors as well.

Before he leaves, have him record himself reading bedtime stories. Play them for the children at night. The sound of his voice will help the children cope with him being gone.

Last but not least, create a support group for yourself. Family and friends that you can rely on when you need a break is EXTREMELY helpful. If you don't have any family or friends where you are currently stationed you can check with the Family Readiness center on the base. They can point you to a few "Mommy and Me" groups that meet on base. Usually the moms in the group are also wives that have husbands deployed (but don't be surprised if you see a dad or two in the group!). Also check with the library on base. They usually hold childrens story time and it's a great way to meet other military moms.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

The best way to get motivated about the new baby is to expect the worst.
The sleepless nights, the pain after giving birth and not having any help, the sibling rivalry that your one year old will have will start almost immediately. The never ending crying.
And the fact, yes fact; that newborns are all different. Where your first baby was quiet and slept well, your second could be just the opposite.
Prepare for all this, "expect" all this, and when the time comes, things wont be so bad. I promise.
My first child was well behaved from the moment of birth. My second child was a force to be reckoned with; she never slept, she NEVER slept. She was about nine months old when I got pregnant again. I was already have extreme post par tum depression. And so it was, that when I found out I was pregnant again, I expected the worst. I "knew" the worst was yet to come. But it never did.

Answer 4

You just need to suck it up. I'm not trying to sound hard here, but you knew what you were getting into when you got married. Maybe your mom can come stay with you once in a while, especially when your coming home from the hospital, while your husband is deployed. Tell your friends you hope you can depend on them when you are feeling overwhelmed. They know what you're going through, and I'm sure they will help out. Just take it one day at a time, and you'll do great. God bless our troops, and I hope you have a healthy baby. Good luck.

Answer 5

You will be amazed I have 4 childern everyone asks me how I do it and really I have no Idea I just take it one day at a time. Its pretty easy, though you won't have as much help for 4 months with your husband gone, don't worry or stress yourself.
As you know newborn babys tend to sleep alot so spend some of that time playing with your son, and let him get o know the baby a bit also.
If you need help call your mom, I know they nag and are pains sometimes but they are always willing to help you if you need a small break for a nap.
Sleep when your kids sleep. When they lay down for a nap lock up all the doors (with chains too) and place them in their cribs, and lay down in the room with them and sleep. You will need to rest also, since for a while you will be up with your new baby at odd times during the night.
Enjoy the time you have with them when they are young because they grow soo fast. When your Little one arrives you will be motivated but dead tired.
Ohhh, something that could help, while your Husband is away write everyday a letter to him or start a special book for him, with what all your son, baby and you did that day, explain your feelings, and that will help the time go by. And when your husband gets back you can show him or keep it to yourself as a diary.
Throw a baby shower, that always helps. I'm a big fan of TBS a Baby story (though it still makes me cry) but it just fills you with happyness and joy.
ALways remeber your Husband will return home and be with you soon, keep a calander of days counting up for 2-3 weeks then down til your husbands arrival home. Throw him a welcome home (Family) party when he gets back, present that book to him. And always remeber that though hes away hes always thinking of you and loves and misses you too...

Answer 6

There are usually groups offered through the base your husband is attached to that will bring the loved ones left behind together. Check into those, also look into your community for support groups or even a church.
It's tough being alone with 2 in diapers, but worth every second of it!
Good Luck!

Answer 7

look you may be religious but god won't go on vacation to help you out, so.....let your family and friends know that you are going to need their support. mentally, physically and emotionally. even if they just talk to you while you are stressing it is a big help. and that girl that said something about not being ready don't listen to her. when you are in the service you can go at anytime and sometimes you won't know til the day before! so forget her. turn to the people that care about you. that's why they are called your safety net. good luck and congratulations and i hope your husband comes home safe.

i am a single parent that works full time and is the rock of my family. when i had my daughter after my fiancee passed i didn't think i could do it. but it talked to my gamily. now 8 months later i have a beautiful,happy and healthy 8 month old and i am not as stressed as i could have been.

Answer 8

If your husband will be deployed he will make enough to support you comfortibily to stay home with your children. The 1 yr old should just be about mobile so will most likely just follow you around while you contend to the new sibling. Just stay home with your children. Do you have relatives for the 1yr to stay with during birth? If not, see if a friend will take care till you get home.

Answer 9

I couldn't imagine having a 2nd child to take care of when my first was almost the center of my world and I was practically a single parent already. I was very insecure about and during my pregnancy; but when he got here it's amazing how things changed in my mind. Do you live on Base? I know when we did, most of the neighbors were very helpful...Teens love to help or even an older (9,10,etc)can entertain your son while you care for the baby. If you don't know anyone contact churches, youth centers for references to help you. Best wishes!!

Answer 10

Its normal to feel like that. Alot of women have to deal with this kind of stuff. Its especially hard if hes in the military, but if u are financial stable and u have family around it will get better. Thank god of ur blessing and look for all of the good in ur new baby 2 come.