is there anyone like me?

Question

i find it hard to be happy. im always so down on myself with negative comments to myself like: your fat! you dont deserve to be happy! your just stupid and worthless! and others that are similar. i also hurt myself alot and am bulimic and anorexic. i just want to become skinny so bad and when i look at myself all i see is some fat girl that i dislike. and its hurting everyone around me and i just want it all to end. i've bben threatend to get sent away to some crazy hospital and want to go to get the help i need but i wont get to see my boyfriend. is there a better way to get help?

Answer 1

just like you sweetie. clinical depression hurts. there are medications that help. but you have to decide you're not going to be depressed anymore. if you believe it, it is that simple

Answer 2

Why on earth do you feel that your don't deserve to be happy? Believe me; I feel the same way you do everyday. But I "KNOW" I deserve to be happy; everyone does, and especially you.
I have never been bulimic or anorexic, but have a very close member of my family that was once. And this much I can tell you...
Every person that is bulimic or anorexic are not at all fat, or have any fat in them for that matter. What you are seeing in that mirror is not your actual reflection. It is what you "want" to see.
Yes, you do need help, and I know that you want it.
What I think you should do is talk to your doctor, try to get him to get you some anti depressants. I remember seeing a magazine ad for Prozac one time. One page was cloudy and rainy; just down right miserable. The next page was sunshine and bright; cheerful.
Being sent away to some hospital could help or not.
If you really want to get better, go to your doctor; tell him what you have said here.
The only person telling you that you are fat and don't deserve to be happy is "YOU"
I'll bet, if any of the Ya hooligans here saw a picture of you they would tell you that you are far from any of the things that you think of yourself. And I'll bet that your boyfriend would agree.

Answer 3

I'm afraid there may not be a better way. I think the "vacation" may help in the sense that it removes the stresses that may be agitating your conditions.

Clinically find out what is wrong. The time away will allow you to see the influence of any meds on your behaviours. It also gives you time to focus on just you and the issues at hand.

When you come back you will be able to put the learning experience together with actual living experience. You'll know what things to look for as changes of behaviour.

Part of the issues at hand is how you look at your self. Crazy people don't question there sanity. so stop thinking about whether you are crazy or not and deal with what is happening.

Answer 4

First of all know that you are not alone at all. MILLIONS of people are going through the same horrible self perception like you are. Girls and women feel like they are just not skinny enough. Well, listen up. You need to dig deep in this issue. Find out why you are bulimic and anorexic. Does your boyfriend tease you? Is it just media? Have you had a weight struggle your whole life? What makes your body vulnerable to such bad habits?

There are MANY ways you can approach this completely serious issue. You can give yourself a shock as to how horrible youre treating your body. Keep a journal of what you eat and how many times you throw up in a week. Then read it when your week is over. Pretend youre reading the journal of a loved ones. See how it feels. Now go hug everyone who loves and cares about you. Another idea is to go to a hospital. It is not a crazy hospital. Regardless of how cliche it sounds, they are there to help. The people who are threatening this to you dont want to see you dead. I am sure you are concerned with your boyfriend. The fact is that you have to love yourself before you can put her heart and soul into the relationship and into loving him.

Dont you want to be happy? Dont you want to know the feeling of accomplishment and worth in your life? Take hold of your life before you can move onto your future.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Ah hun, I'm 21 now but went through this exact thing a couple years ago. I finally ended up going to a hospital for a couple weeks while we sorted out where all those horrid emotions were coming from. It does take time, but it DOES get better. Have you tried working out? I'm a bit overweight myself still, but I find after getting up the courage to go to the gym (and defying that stupid fear of all the fit boys laughing at us) I feel great.

You'd be amazed how many girls struggle with these exact feels-40 kilos or 100 kilos, okay? And you have a boyfriend, there you go! You're obviously attractive or most typical boys I know wouldn't bother :) And, as cliche as it sounds, we as a society need to bloody start looking at a woman's talen and insight instead of judging her bust/hip/waistline! I also believe that self-confidence is probably the most attractive attribute there is. Hmm, good luck with all that, ok? YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and there are people rooting for you :)
www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms

Answer 6

You should not worry about your appearance. It's what is on the inside that counts. Your being too hard on yourself. You may need some medication, don't let this make you feel worse. I take a antidepresent and a tranquilizer for my anxiety. The antidepresent is a form of seritonin uptake. My brain doesn't produce the right amount, seritonin is the chemical in your brain that makes you thoughts flow right, the help the neroconectors to function smoothly. Good luck, and if you need to talk you can send a comment to me on my 360 page and get ahold of me that way. Skip.

Answer 7

I don't have an eating disorder, but I get like that sometimes. Go get the help regardless of your boyfriend. Make sure he knows what is going on with your disorder, and if he really does like you, he would encourage it.
I found that in myself, the feeling "I don't deserve to be happy" came from the guilt that I live like I do without fear of death or anything. I have more than enough that I need to survive (I-pods and stuff.) Most people don't get these pleasures. It makes me feel bad that I get a life like this.
This guilt causes me to hate myself when I shouldn't. I also need to get help, like a therapist, but It's hard for me to admit it to anyone that I know.
So, Guilt is my problem. It could be yours also.
Go get help before you go do something that will ruin you for good. (Suicide, drugs....) You will feel much better when you can move on and get it over with.

Answer 8

You have to change your attitude you are so programed to be negative that you no longer find joy in anything. Look at things in a new light it will take time, but focus on what is good around you and then what you want to become, and what you need to do to get there, this will not happen over night, but it will happen with a new attitude. Good luck.

Answer 9

I am pretty much like that.I drive everyone crazy and always try to loose weight , but what ever I loose I still don't look good to myself.But my problem is that I start acting weird with everyone and they hate it. I always try to think about something else or maybe reading a book will help.I don't really think that I helped ,but I tried!

Answer 10

listen to happy songs on your iPod or mp3 player
I love to rock out with Fall Out Boy or Panic! at the disco
be with your friends
hang with your family
play with your dog

no one can ever bring you down
watch this video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3ad_IU5t55Y
Its "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera

Listen to:
Headstrong by Ashley Tisdale and the one by Trapt
Fighter by Christina too
Rock out to London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines and The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage by Panic! at the Disco
And This isn't a scene, It's an arms race by Fall Out Boy (my boyfriend's got that song stuck in my head since yesterday!)

Hope you feel better! Remember, nothing can ever bring you down!
In the words of Jay-Z, just brush the dirt off your shoulder

** update: also listen to Can't take that away by Mariah Carey. that song always bounces me back
and rock out the Year 3000 by Jonas Brothers. I'm listening to them right now, its so good!!

Answer 11

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.