Ever since I was pregnant it started, they never asked if the baby was okay, and once our son was born they went to the Bahamas and didn't see him until 3 weeks after he was born. They live 20 mins away. Nobody saw our son until he turned 1 when they came to his birthday party. Not one of his Aunt's or uncle's want to know about him. When I was pregnant with my daughter the same thing happened again. Nobody has seen her and she is 10 months. Nobody on my husband's side of the family wants to spend time with our children. I know that once they get older they will try to be more involved, but what do I tell my children when they are old enough to realize that they never see their grandparents, uncle's and aunts? What should I do, we use to go there all the time, but our house is more commidating for our children, they never come. What to do?
2007-02-17 05:42:00 · 13 answers · asked by fourcheeks4 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
there nothing wrong with our children, they are polite, calm and soo cute
2007-02-17 05:44:12 · update #1
we are the only ones with children.
2007-02-17 05:50:33 · update #2
Well these people sound a little odd to me, and if i were you i don't think i would want my children around them. Now i know it may make you upset that they don't seem to care about your children. They may fell threatened or jealous of your family. Have you asked them or talked to them about this, they may not know that you fell this way. Me being me i don't go any were I'm not wanted and the same goes for my children
2007-02-17 05:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey, i'm right there with you. no one on my husband's side, except his sister, wants to spend time with my children except when my husband is around. They act like they do to him and what not, and then say I'm keeping them away from them. But anytime I went over there when they lived by us they were always too "busy" even though we made arrangements. my husband is in the military so he's not always around and now we live across the country from them, well soon they are moving to the same state but the same will happen. THey just want to see their son, not their grandkids.
What I will tell my kids is that their grandparents and aunts and uncles love them all very much (you don't want to try to turn your kids against family it always ends up bad) but that they are just at a point in their life where they are just too busy (selfish is more like it but you don't want to say that, the kids will learn soon enough on their own). You don't want to be the bad guy in this. Because then the family will have ammo to turn your kids against you and say you were lying (even if it was the truth). And if you can, go over to their place especially if they don't live that far away even if its less accomidating. And if they are too "busy" you can say you have been trying to at least. I feel for ya!
2007-02-17 05:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Rae M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have different priorities than you do. You cannot change them and are not responsible for their actions. Just enjoy your time with your children and let them know they are loved. Some parents have the opposite problem and have family that are too involved and always trying to interfere. If your children ask why these people act the way they do just tell them honestly that you do not know, that some people are just like that and that it is not a reflection on your children. Then reassure your children that you love them and remind them of all the wonderful loving people that are involved in their lives.
2007-02-17 05:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by Starshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's family is the same way, except for a few. He comes from a very large family and so when we got married, I thought that once we had children, it would be great because we would have all these babysitters, family parties, cookouts, etc.. Well, they are all pretty much useless as far as that is concerned. My mom in law never comes to see the children, unless we invite her to their birthday. She never calls, etc.. I used to get really upset about it. But then I realized I should be thankful that my own family is not like that. My children are very close to my side, but they really don't know their other "family". My youngest doesn't even know some of his cousins' names. Its sad, really, but life is too short. If I were you, I would continue to invite them over, and try to plan family get togethers. If they come, then great. If not, its really them who are losing out. Your kids won't be little forever, and when they are older, they may not even want to have a relationship with them.
2007-02-17 05:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by FLmom3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your family! Be upfront with them and tell them you are upset about the issue. They may make excuses, or whatever.. but at least you'll feel a little better.
Try to spend time with close friends of the family. There is nothing wrong with having your child call your friend, "aunt" whoever or "uncle".
It is not your responsibility to force your family to spend time with your children. They will regret it when your children are no longer babies and by the time they are teens, they probably won't care to spend time with them.
2007-02-17 05:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day its there loss. Your children are very much loved by both parents so they arent missing out on anyones love.It must hurt but always tell yourself you do your best by them and later on in life when these people try to make an effort with your children it will be there own embarrassment when they ask you why the child is being strange with them. You simply reply its not the childs fault he or she doesnt know you.
2007-02-17 12:15:46 · answer #6 · answered by face ache 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing your relationship with your family nor your husband's family, it's hard to pin point why they are so uninterested. Are you and your husband the only ones with small children? Maybe they feel that they don't "fit in" anymore due to your new lifestyle. I do think it's strange though, and perhaps you should confront your family with it? Just ask them and see how they react. I know it's easier said than done, but I think it's worth it. Good luck!
2007-02-17 05:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by jenarul 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
except the female is neglecting the youngster, it relatively does not count number. in case you think of the youngster is being neglected, call baby secure practices for that county/city/state. otherwise, the courts have no corporation tracking how somebody spends the money. I pay over 7400 money a year in baby help. My daughter has outfits, college ingredients, eats nicely, is wholesome, has her own mattress room, and does nicely at school. i'd desire to care much less how her mom spends that money as long as she takes appropriate care of my 7 year old toddler. And, the final element i choose is a few choose (i.e. flesh presser) enjoying huge brother with how my daughter is raised.
2016-10-15 12:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry they behave that way. Have you confronted your family about their behavior?
Is there someone who can be a "surrogate" grandparent? We are fortunate enough to have a couple at our church who has adopted our family.
As far as your children, you will eventually have to answer their questions. The best thing you can do is to make sure there is no doubt in their minds of your love for them.
2007-02-17 05:51:13 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just like that. No use worrying about it. Let it go, and concentrate on your relationship with the children.
2007-02-17 05:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋