Is it better to have one wedding or two?

Question

I am from South America and moved here about 2 years ago. I am in a serious relationship now for a long time and the question of marriage has come up. The problem is, my family and friends would need lots of money and Visas to attend a wedding here in the U.S. If we had the wedding there, it might be hard for her mom to travel such a long distance due to health problems. Also, her friends could never afford the plane ticket either. Her mother told her couples always get married in the woman's church, but in todays society cant anything go? Also, if we do have two weddings, what would be our anniversary?

Answer 1

You could have 2 ceremonies ... 1 in the U.S. and 1 in South America.

I know a lot of people that had two weddings for example my cousin married a Hindu and they have 2 ceremonies they had a Hindu wedding with a henna ceremonies and a garba/rass ceremonies then the actually Hindu wedding so altogether that wedding was two-three days long and then the next day they have a Christian wedding in a church and the reception.

So it is possible to have 2 ceremonies. I think it would be neat.
If you have the time and money you should have 2 weddings. But my cousin had the wedding in the same week because it was in the same city but for you it would be two different countries so I guess your anniversary would have to been the date you had the 1st wedding.

OR

You can I have the wedding in one place the US or South America and then a reception in the other place ... that is what my friend did they got married where the bride lived which is New York City and then they had a reception where the groom lived which was Chicago so everyone at least went to one event to they did not miss the whole thing
You could to do for your mother because she believes you should get married in the bride’s church and then later you can fly out to South America and have a reception for your side of the family ... that way your family will be at least in one part of you wedding and not miss the whole thing and your mother will not be sad or worried about missing your wedding plus she would not have to fly which would be good for her health
I think that would be a great idea because you would have both a wedding and reception and you can be in both the US and South America and still honor your mother's tradition about marrying in the brides church.


Good Luck I hope you figure things out! CONGRATULATIONS!

Answer 2

Okay, here is an idea: have the wedding here. Have a small intimate wedding, then pay for your immediate family and closest friends (maybe about 10 people?) to be here for it. If someone can pay their own way outside of those 10 people, fine they can come. She can only invite the same amount of people, just to make it fair. Then have a big reception here. Take your honeymoon where you live, make it 10-14 days long. Spend the first 7 days just the two of you, spend the other 3-7 days celebrating with your friends/family who could not make it. Your anniversary will be the day you got married.
Make sure that you video the wedding and give copies to any important family members who couldn't come to the wedding.
It will cost less than having two weddings. Everyone can still celebrate with the two of you.

Answer 3

You can have two ceremonies but you can't have two weddings.
One will be the legal wedding where a minister will sign the necessary papers to go on file. This will be your legal wedding date. The other would be symbolic; like a vow renewal.

You can choose to have the actual wedding in either place. It used to be traditional that the wedding was held where the girl was from. Families stayed close to each other. But now families are spread all over the country, even before getting married so it doesn't always hold true.

What you could do, so no feelings are hurt about not actually seeing you legally be married is for you to go to the courthouse, get married & then have a symbolic ceremony & celebration at both places.

Answer 4

Yes, anything goes and it in the end is totally up to you...But since mom-in-law is in failing health...
What about having the wedding in the moms church since we don't want her getting more sick from the stress of thinking she will miss her daughters wedding. Then after the wedding have a very small appetizer/cocktail (or not) reception. Then fly to your country for a big blow out party reception/honeymoon.
You could play a recording of your wedding ceremony at the big reception.
If you like the idea of two weddings maybe do one in the States and then on your 1st anniversary have your second one. That way you will have the same anniversary and time to save money for two weddings!

Answer 5

Well, legally you get married once. HOWEVER, that can't (and shouldn't) stop you from having 2 ceremonies. Have 1 in the U.S., and then 1 in South America for your family. Just in the 2nd ceremony, make sure the officiant is aware that you're already legally married, and don't need the paperwork (you might want to bring it for proof though). My sister did this when she married her hubby, who's from Brazil. They had the wedding here in the U.S., but then flew to Brazil to celebrate with his family. I don't know if they had a full blown ceremony, but they at least had a reception there. Her reasoning was yours, it was cheaper for her and her hubby to fly there, than to bring his entire family and life long friends up to the U.S. Congrats and good luck!

Answer 6

I have had many friends that have had similar problems. Many of them have decided to do it this way.

They pick one location to have their official wedding and an open house. That is the date that they celebrate as their anniversary.

Then, a short time later, they will have a ring ceremony and reception in the other location.

That way, all friends and family can attend some sort of ceremony and feel a part of the events. Without you having to worry about which wedding is actually legal.

Answer 7

My parents got married twice: at the town hall in France, and then in a French island in the Indian Ocean at the church.

The thing is, in France, you MUST get married at the town hall for it to be legal, so it was easier. But they had 2 ceremonies (with food, etc.). So, yes, you could do both. And the first wedding would be your "real" one.

Answer 8

Sorry, you can only have ONE wedding, unless there is a divorce in between.

However, you can have more than one wedding "reception" or "celebration".

Generally the decision about when and where is (unfairly) the bride's. IMO, you ought to get married here, and sometime in the next year, take a trip to So. America and celebrate there.

Answer 9

I had three...............Ha Ha!!!!!!!! I am a christian girl and married a Vietnamese guy. His family is buddhist but he is not. He never practiced the religion. Well.............we got married at the JP for ourselves.........because we couldn't wait. His mom wanted a Vietnamese wedding and my parents wanted me to get married in the church. Well...............we did it all!!! We married Vietnamese style and in the Church. It wasn't costly at all and we did all of it in 3 months. Just find the right stuff very cheap!!!!!! It was all fun because everyone was happy and we had our little wedding at the JP so we were so happy too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I say do both.............it only happens once in a life time!!!!!!!!!!! If its true love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK and CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

have a small wedding at each place then : ) (and I do mean small)