How to make 7 year old stop masterbating?

Question

She calls it her exersizes. She will sit down on a chair and start rocking. She sometimes puts something between he legs. When she is done she will usually do it again 5 min later. She does it alot usually when she is sitting down or bored. We try to keep her ocupied but we can't forever. She says she doesen't do it at school but i dont know if its true. I want her to stop so she doesn't do it when my 12 year old daughter's friends are over or when we have guests. When she is doing it in the TV room i tell her '' remember you need to do that in private" but she will say something like "go somwhere else then" or "i was here first". Any ideas how to make her stop?

Answer 1

OK first of all that is really scary I am a childcare provider and take classes about child abuse you need to talk to your child's doctor that is a big sign of child sex abuse for your daughter you need to call someone as soon as possible. Please for you daughter please call someone.............................................................................................

Answer 2

Like the others have said, don't punish her for doing it. It's a completely natural thing. Tell her that there are certain places that she can masturbate. Maybe the bathroom or her own bedroom. Make sure that she knows whatever she puts between her legs should be clean, so if she does use her hands (??) to wash them before and after so that she doesn't get a rash or other issue.

Let her know that some people do think it's dirty or bad, just like people feel differently about other issues and that's what makes it private. Let her know that some people find it unacceptable, just like if she were to start shouting at the library. However, if she were to read a book in your back yard and decided to shout something, no one would question it. Maybe this analogy will help, maybe it will just be more confusing--anyway, good luck to you and your daughter! It might take your older child's friends making fun of her to get her to stop. And that's ok too. You could discuss how it made her feel and then you can do a famous mom, "I told you so!"

Answer 3

your 7 year old is doing just fine. others sound like they're not handling it so well. some of these answers are just outrageous! masturbation is a normal, healthy thing and will keep her out of trouble i'm sure. precocious children aren't bad-they're just a little more in tune with themselves. did you know that even in the womb, the fetus sometimes masturbates? yep. so it's a very private thing. just let your daughter know that it's like going to the potty or being naked and should be done somewhere private: the bathroom or her bedroom. don't punish her-she's a child going through a time of discovery. now, you could certainly encourage her to "discover" by herself, but i think she'll probably get the idea the second someone else sees and says ew! what's wrong with you!

Answer 4

Well, there is probably no way to get her to stop. It's not hurting anything, and she just doesn't realize what she is doing. Tell her what she is doing is okay, but when she feels the need to do it, do it in her room or the bathroom when no one can walk in. Tell her doing it out in the open where everyone can see isn't good because it's something everyone does in private. If she asks why you are only supposed to do it in private, tell her it's like going to the bathroom or changing your clothes.

Kudos to you, though for not scolding her or telling her it's wrong.. or making her feel ashamed. She will grow up being a strong, level headed girl because of that.

Answer 5

OK wow i read most of these answer and am shocked at how lil so many people know about this

there is nothing wrong with your child you did nothing wrong to cause this it is normal behavior for 40% of young children i know my son did it and i got all the same responses you just did

my son was 2 when he started he did it every where in the store at home at grand parents house

thanks to all the crappy advice i got from others my son was putt though hell cps was called we got investigated he had to go to counseling at 2 y/o everyone said hr had to have been molested that is the only reason a 2y/o would do such a thing

the counselor and his pediatrician said its normal for some kids we all age differently and discover ourselves at different times

DO NOT tell her she is bad for this or that what she is doing is bad

she is old enough to talk to about this you just have to find a way to get her to understand that what she is doing needs to only be done when she is alone

please talk to her pediatrician about this it will be the only sound advice you will get that will be of any help to you that wont leave you feeling upset

please feel free to e mail me

Answer 6

Masterbating is not bad or something to be punished for! THe people who suggest you punish her, or that this is somehow wrong obviously have unhealthy ideas about their own bodies and sexuality. All of my friends figured out how to masterbate at about this age. It's totally natural, healthy, and part of discovering our bodies. There should be NO shame introduced at all, or it might mess her up later in life. However, it is a private thing and she needs to know it embarrases other people and is her own time to be with her own body. She needs to learn boundaries--but not by punishment! I'd look to some expert books on healthy bodies and boundaries for children of this age, because unfortunately making the wrong move, sending the wrong message can do damage later in life. I wouldn't say this is a sign of abuse, unless she is exhibiting sexual agression towards others, or using inappropriate language about sex, etc. It sounds like she does not associate this with sex or know much about sex (but I don't know, of course).

I think it's actually a good sign that she feels comfortable doing this in front of you--you clearly have helped her have a positive body image and self-confidence. And it's all about curiosity and figuring things out--and of course it feels good, so it's normal.

I hope you can find some good advice from some books/resources (ones that don't see masterbation as bad) to help encourage her to do it in private, without shame.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Just leave her alone. This is normal and she will quit on her own. She needs to do this in private. Tell her she needs to go to her room because this is a private thing. Most likely, she will quit when she realizes that she no longer has an audience. I went through the same thing with my son. Do not tell them that it is wrong, or that would mean the whole world was doing something wrong.

Answer 8

Although I understand your concern, I'm certain she isnt realizing the extent of it all. Keep at the redirecting, dont act like it's dirty, but explain how that is a 'private part of the body", and show her the appropriate place, let her know that anywhere else - or in front of others is NOT acceptable, simply bc of privacy. I would possibly even consult a pediatrician or counselor for concerns.
What I'd really be bothered by is how disrespectfully she speaks to you! Now, THAT has got to stop!

Answer 9

Oh my goodness, I can't believe people are telling you it's natural and just let her do it in private. It's not normal and it needs to stop. I think you would agree or you wouldn't be reaching out for help. I've worked with children for years and at all diffferent ages and levels of intelligence. Some children find vices to stem off ( kinda like a little addiction) and that is what she is doing. She is soothing herself in this way and it's not healthy. Like, thumb-sucking - maybe it don't hurt to bad, but it's still not socially acceptable. She needs to be stopped and if your not suceeding you need to get professional help. I don't care what anyone else has told you- don't let that go on.

Answer 10

When my sons do something similar (they are 7 and 4) I just make sure they know to do it in private, meaning bedroom or bathroom. Not that I want to have that picture in my mind...but I will not say anything to make them feel ashamed or wrong. I just mention it kind of casually if I notice something then drop the subject entirely. Make a joke about adults walking around scratching their butts or whatever sometimes makes them think about it a bit.

Answer 11

I dont have any daughters, but I do have a cousin that has a daughter that is 5, and my best friend has a daughter that is 8 and they both do the same thing, so to me it sounds like it may be normal. Just curious and dont know what they are doing, but it feels good to them. It has nothing to do with what the first answerer said.