I am getting married tis summer and I want my father to walk me down the isile. But I also want my grandfather to attend but they haven't been on speaking terms for almost 7 years and each says if the other attends then they will not. I don't know what to do because I really want my dad to walk me down. Please help!!!
2007-02-17 04:42:38 · 14 answers · asked by snjmcgowan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
P.S. I cant ask my mother to do anything for it due to the fact that she basically abandoned me at the age of two and I havent seen her for over 14 years when I was 16.
2007-02-17 04:59:25 · update #1
I would write them each a letter. Let them know that each of them means very much to you and has been an important presence in your life. You would very much like to share the joy of your wedding day with both of them, but you do not want to get in the middle of their conflict. You hope they can put aside their differences for this one day to show their support and love for you.
In the end, I would invite them both, but if you want your father to walk you down the aisle, you'll simply have to let your grandfather know that your father will be there, and that you hope he will decide to attend as well. Then it's all up to him.
2007-02-17 04:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by Morgan H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is where you appeal to the fact that both these men love you. Tell them both (on separate occasions) that you love them dearly, and really want each of them at your wedding. Point out that they are each too big of a part of your life, and if they weren't there, you would notice it (and it would probably hurt). Ask them both to put aside their differences for just 1 day, to make you happy. Hopefully they'll behave like grown adults and do just that. But, be prepared for them not to. In that case, I would assume your father would go, since you want him to escort you down the aisle, so your grandfather wouldn't. It's sad when adults choose to act this way, but they do. Realize there's eventually NOTHING you can do about it, you're talking about adults here, and please don't let it diminish your happiness on your wedding day. Good luck, I hope they realize what a mistake they're both making here!
2007-02-17 05:38:22 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you want to have your dad walk you he has no choice but to be there. Now in the case of your grandfather he is the one that will get to pick or choose if he will go. I am sure your dad will be there but he your grandfather decides not to look at it on the bright side at least you have one man you love walking you down the aisle. I think you shouldnt worry about it. Your grandfather and father are grown up men and if they can't get this problem fixed then they should just be there for you. why dont you tell them that its for you and not for them to please each other. the least they can do is have you happy on that day. well good luck to you
2007-02-17 05:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sooo understand your situation, I went through something a little similar a couple of years ago. In my situation, I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle, but also wanted to show respect to my stepfather, also. There was a point where one threatened not to come altogether. I explained to both of them how much it meant for both to be there, and couldn't they put aside there differences, and look at what is more important?
You will have to decide which is more important, sounds like having your father be there is more, because one may decide to be way stubborn. Just remember what is the most important thing of the day....you getting married to the man you love. Don't let the foolishness of those 2 spoil your day.
In the end, it worked for me, and everyone got along fine, and they both walked me down the aisle. I hope it works out for you!
2007-02-17 05:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by terri_2000_xxx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your Grandfather that you know how much he loves you and how hurt you would be if something should happen that he wouldn't be @ your Wedding and that his presents there will make your day that you know that he is a bigger stronger man than your Dad that is why you are sure that he will be at your wedding for you in spite of the differences between him & your Dad & that you hope he won't be the one to ruin this once in a lifetime event for you by not attending.
2007-02-17 15:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to both your father and your grandfather how much it means to have both of them attend. Tell your grandfather that your father will be walking you down the aisle no matter what. If they both love you they can put aside their childish views for one day. Tell them that this is your day and could they please understand and put off their feud till another time. If your grandfather doesn't come you will be disappointed but if your father doesn't walk you down the aisle that is something you will be sad about for a lot of years. I hope it all works out.
2007-02-17 06:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by Riss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to both of them that you wedding day is about supporting you. They do not have to speak to each other and you will put them at separate tables at the reception.
Ask each of them if their feud with each other is really more important than supporting you on your wedding day. If they say yes it is, then tell them you're sorry they feel that way and you are very sad they will not be attending your wedding.
I'm really sorry if they tell you they can't suck it up for you, but i guess that would show your their true colors and you know you can't count on them to support you or ever put anything than their own selfish and stubborn conflict first.
You could have you mom walk you down the aisle.
2007-02-17 04:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to each of these so-called adults and tell them what you've told us.
You want both to attend, it is something that you want for your wedding, that you would appreciate them laying aside their petty differences for a couple of hours while you get married.
There is no reason they have to stand next to each other or even speak to each other, just attend the ceremony and behave like mature adults.
When the wedding is over and the celebration is done, they can go back to behaving like children.
Ps. Tell your officiant about this so that he/she can head off any potential volatile problems.
2007-02-17 05:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are both being selfish. Send an invitation to your wedding to your grandfather, than it's his decision whether to come or not. Ask your father to walk you down the aisle, which is what you want. I would hope these two could put aside their differences for at least one day for you. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck, and Congrats!
2007-02-17 04:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like what the first person on your list said. It is very mature and to the point. You might add that you are sure that they both love you and because you are sure of that you know that they would not want to hurt you on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life by letting you down.
Maybe add that if they would like you can make special arrangements for Papa to be seated away from Dad.
Good luck with this. I know it can be a tense situation.
2007-02-17 05:06:07 · answer #10 · answered by Rackjack 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋