boyfriend slit his wrist in front of me in a fight. --> took him to the hospital and he got stitches. he's bipolar, taking medications.
this occured about 5 months ago. (we are both 22 years old)
he's gotten counceling since then...
my question is.... can i trust him, can i plan a life with him, how do i get over this.
2007-02-17 04:34:56 · 13 answers · asked by ashley-girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If counseling is truly helping and he is attempting to make a positive change, take responsibility for himself, and learning to become a more mature adult, I would say give him more time.
But, if he does not seem to making progress, REAL progress, you may end up becoming his "babysitter" rather than his equal partner.
For years I had clinical depression. I felt that everyone else should "make" me happy and everything everyone else did was to either upset me or be "on my side."
After my second divorce, I learned to REALLY look at myself, my attitudes, my personal responsibility, my dark side, and work to better myself.
You cannot be responsible for his actions, words, or emotions. He is responsible for his own life.
If you want to make it work, but unsure, don't make any long range plans with him. Can you trust him? Unless he is truly changing for the better....NO!
His suicide attempt may have been a cry for help, but I have also known people, and (and, ashamed to say) myself, who have tried suicide as a way to get attention and control my significant other.
Think long and hard about what it feels to be with him. Do you feel secure, can you trust him, does he have equal responsibility in the relationship? Or are you more of a care-taker, mother, babysitter in the relationship. By staying with him, as he continues on without improving, is a sign of a co-dependent relationship. This is not healthy for you.
Weigh the pro's and con's. If the con's outweigh the pro's, move on with your life.
Good Luck
2007-02-17 04:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by Nepetarias 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not about you in anyway.
Your boyfriend has some serious problems and he really needs to get them taken care of. The last thing you need to be thinking about is a relationship with this person. The only thing you can do for him, is to be his friend and make sure that he gets the help he needs.
Be there for him when he really needs someone to talk to, find out what kind of things he really enjoys and go and do those things, that will help him more then anything.
But he has a problem and it's not going to away over night. He will have this for the rest of his life. You are both young and have a full long life ahead of both of you. Just be ther for him right now, as a friend.
2007-02-17 04:41:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mental Illness is a serious thing. It is difficult everyday, I have a brother that has the same issues. You have to know rather you can handle the ups and downs of it. You might need to get into some support groups and understand the illness before making a decision regarding planning a life with him. I believe love conquers all things but you have to be prepared for the illness through education and awareness as well. Hope this helps.
DRD
2007-02-17 04:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by Simply DeAnna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hunni, but that-well that's crossed the line. I don't think you guys can plan a life, unless he gets help. If he gets help, he may feel better and won't attempt suicide. Then maybe, you will be able to trust him and plan a life.
2007-02-17 04:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you see a change in him? Is he trying to get all of that under control with meds, counseling, or whatever it takes. If he is, then talk to him and ask him if he will continue to control it the rest of his life and if he does Im sure that you will be more than able to plan a life with him.
2007-02-17 04:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, first its his wrists then its yours, not necessarily your wrists, could be something else. I'd leave him if i were you. Seriously if he was getting good counseling for suicide, he would be locked away in a mental institute.
I'm a psychologist and honestly I would have him locked up in an institute.
2007-02-17 04:41:26 · answer #6 · answered by A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bipolar is a serious disorder. You need to be prepared to cope with his illness. If you really want to be with him you need to educate yourself on his behavior patterns and understand how you can comfort him and make him feel loved and needed. You can't be harsh and abrasive with bipolar people. He needs a gentle touch. I hope you have it.
2007-02-17 04:39:02 · answer #7 · answered by AmandaHugNKiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you (If you haven't already done so) co to the counceling sessions with him, and discuss what's going on.
2007-02-17 04:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Pauly W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on if he can get his illness under control.
2007-02-17 04:37:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always say that once your messed up in the head, your messed up 4 life.........
2007-02-17 04:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋