Dating a man with young children, bad idea??

Question

I met a guy online whom seem to be looking for the same things I am. He is mid 50's with 2 kids, I presumed they were grown but both are under 10. I reallly don't want a man with young children as my daughter is almost grown and I want to be able to go out and have a good time with another adult and not have to go to kid places all the time. we have only met once. He is also very involved in social work. He wife divorced him because he was too into God. I think she divorced him because he spent too much time doing social work and not enough time with her. I presumed he had his sons every other weekend but it turns out he has them 50% of the time or more like 4 days a week. we were emailing and chatting on the phone daily but in the past days that he has his kids, no emails or calls. He is just too busy. I think I am going to go back to deleting any many who answers my ad who was young children. Am I right or is this just an isolated event?

Answer 1

I say keep looking, Sure he is a single dad and Sure he is a social worker but his wife left him because he is too into god? girl please..one angle he sounds nice but come on, and your right to say you want a man for yourself. not being mean i am a mother with 2 myself but i put myself in your shoes and if your gut says something listen to it! I highly doubt his wife left him because of the into god thing, But if he is Already too busy why bother? and he has to spend time with his kids too! ofcourse it is up to you in the end but my opinion anyway. I hope things go the way you want and not the way anyone else wants.

Answer 2

I was in a r/ship for 4 years with a guy with a young son. The son was 3 when we met, 7 when we broke up. It is extremely difficult!!!! He had him 50% of the time too, and it is an enormous time commitment. You can forget just spontaneously deciding to get together to go out for a movie or a weekend road trip. You have to plan everything around the schedule of when he has his kids, and that leaves you with little options. And you have to think of the emotional investment too. Usually when a man has young kids like that, the kids are his first priority (if he is a good man and father). That means every major decision he makes he will consider how it will affect his kids over anything else. And then of course there is the mother of the kids. Usually that woman will have more say over what goes in your household than you do!!! This situation was just extremely frustrating. If you are an very understanding and self-sacrificing person, you can probably handle it. I thought I was a person like that but found myself gradually growing more and more resentful, and that just wasn't healthy for any of us. Good luck whatever you decide to do, but this situation will pose more challenges than you can even imagine.

Answer 3

Hi..Here is the thing.. If you are at a point in your life where you want to start living. This situation is not for you. The guy might be wonderful, but he has too many things on his plate. If he didn't have time for his wife and he is into GOD, he didn't read the bible very well. The bible lets the man know he is responsible for the happiness in his home.

You need to do some serious thinking. What makes you happy and what do you want to do with your life. What interests do you have? What have you always wanted to do with yourself or for yourself.

My children are grown up and I am starting to live the wonderful life. I like having the freedom to do what it is that I want to do.

If it was me, (and i've been there) you should take some "me time" and write down what you want and what you want to do. You owe it to yourself to be happy and satisfy your own needs.

I do wish you the best and hope you make the right decision.

Woman who has been there!

Answer 4

You know what you want out of a relationship, so don't settle for any less. He sounds like a great guy, but he has a lot of responsibilities so you will have to be willing to come second to those commitments and it sounds like that's not what you really want. If you want a man who can be free enough to go and be spontaneous, don't date anyone with children under 18. You deserve to live the way you want to. Hang in there until you find a man who can share that with you. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

First let me answer your question.
You are right about this man. He is obviously Mr. Wrong for you. And it is okay to not want to date a single father.

When I read your letter, I almost fell off my chair laughing.
We always hear women going on about how bad men are because they shy away from single mothers, which I admit is a bad thing. But here you are blatantly calling single fathers worthless and unfit for women to date.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
But I guess it's okay for women to tell men they are worthless, as men as men don't say the same thing about women, RIGHT?

Answer 6

He is doing exactly what he should be, kids come first and will always come first with a good parent. Thats obviously not what you are looking for. You want someone that can give you alot of time and attention. He isn't the one.

Answer 7

I m just 21 too young 2 answer but may be it helps u .Look U have ur own daughter and he has sons of10 .How does it matters wen ur in true love .Start loving his kids too .So wat if they r just 10.But u have got a kind hearted person atleast .This world is very clever.But now u have got ur man .So go 4 him. I hope u r divorcee too

Answer 8

first..you don't want young kids, then look at his attachment to "god"..do you want that? and then there is meeting on the net...is that a sound way to start? another thing you said..he is just too busy..that is a laugh. All in all there are too many negatives to continue with him....move on honey...move on.

Answer 9

it's bad you shouldn't be dating a man in his 50's who has two kids because the kids may really cause trouble between the relationship and make a divorce happen later in the year or so

Answer 10

No, you are right to want what you want. He might be a great guy but that is not what you are looking for. Just keep looking, you will know when you find someone who is right.