My husband is 24 this year and he doesnt want anymore kids.As soon as he turns 25 hes getting fixed.Im going to be 23 this year and i still want one more baby.We have 2 kids now.We have a boy and a girl.Anyway the compromise we came to was that anytime this year he will try to get me pregnant for 3 days.If i get pregnant i cant ask him for anymore kids.If i dont i cant ask him for anymore kids. Truth be told i have a hard time with the kids i already have.My daughter is 3 and my son is 1.What do you think?
2007-02-17 04:23:51 · 13 answers · asked by HLM 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
hi - you must do what you think is best. you have 2 small children to care for and i'll bet they are a handful and another baby will add to your work load at the moment. if i were you i'd have a full and frank conversation with my husband and ask him to put it off for a few years, 25 is very young to be sterilised. and then you can enjoy your 2 little ones before adding to your family. i suppose it is frightening to think that you may never have a chance to have any more kids - and maybe thats why you feel you need to have another one. i don't suppose for one minute your husband understands this - (he's a bloke!) - however, try and be sure he knows exactly how you feel - it would be a terrible strain on your relationship if you held any sort of resentment towards him over this.
i really hope you manage to sort this out with him. good luck
xx
2007-02-17 04:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by emma m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children should not be the product of a contest. If you are already having trouble with two young children, do you really think adding a newborn to the mix is going be anything positive? Your husband is being ridiculous...he is young and shouldn't make this decision on a whim...he doesn't know what he will want in a few years. However, the good thing about a vas is that it can be reversed. Love the children that you have and feel blessed that you have them. You never know what may happen in the next few years...things will get easier once the children get a little older and your husband might change his mind. You are young...enjoy yourself and the family that you have.
2007-02-17 12:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by Hoops Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 23 and my husband is 26. We also have two children (2 and 8mos). There are days when we say "no more!", but then there are days when we think "we could do this again!". I know for a fact that we are too young to decide on permanent birth control. What if something happened to me and he remarried and his new wife was as young as I and had never had children? She may want a child ofher own. So many things could happen to change our minds. So... I say, no permanent measures for at least 5 years.
Oh, and your feelings of wanting another baby are JUST as valid as his feelings of not wanting another baby. And, until one of you resolves your feelings completely, one way or the other, you shouldn't make any hasty decisions. In a few years, when your kids are a little older and you're a little wiser, things may be very different.
2007-02-17 12:40:26 · answer #3 · answered by Candice K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is totally unfair for your husband to want to get "fixed" when you still want more children. Your children are still so young and so are you. I think that the both of you need to reconsider your "agreement". If you have 2 small children now, I'd wait a few years before you'd try to get pregnant again. Having 3 children under the age of 3-4 is really hard for anyone to handle, especially if you are a stay at home mom. My advice to you is talk with him and tell him your reasons for wanting more children. There are other ways of preventing pregnancy than him fixed (that is really a lifelong choice once getting it done). You could get a "reliable" birth control method planned out for the both of you. Then, if you decide later that 2 children are enough, then you could go along with his idea and get fixed. I wouldnt recommend him actually going through with this until you both are positively sure you do not want anymore kids though. Hope this helps and good luck.
2007-02-17 12:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are both to young to be making a decision on not having anymore kids in the future. I am not saying you are too young to have kids, but at 23 and 24 to say never again seems a little premature. It doesn't sound like either of you are ready to have another child at this time. I think you should really talk to your husband and agree to put the idea on hold for a couple of years and then revisit it. I would just hate to see him get fixed and regret t later or see you rush to have one more and not be able to be the best mom you would like to be. Good luck and I hope you can come to a decision together.
2007-02-17 12:32:04 · answer #5 · answered by dragonfly7887 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can totally sympathize! I am 25 with 3 kids - 3, 5,7 - and I really want to have another baby. My husband is 31 and thinks I am crazy because our time and resources are stretched as it is. I do have a suggestion though because you guys are so young and he could decide a few months or a few years from now that he is ready for a babay after all. I got an IUD, you should research this alternative before he undergoes surgery. It is nearly 100% effective preventing pregnancy and requires no daily effort on your part and if you did change your mind you are completely fertile as soon as it is removed.
2007-02-17 12:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by karilm25 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well two is a good number and the fact you stated about having trouble wiith the ones you have now think how much worse it would be if you had morning sickness trying to tell them not pick on each other with your head in the toliet or fatigued and trying to sleep i think you should be grateful that you were blessed with two and try to get organized with them i know it can be frustrating wanting another but stuck with the fact that its not really do able right now i have two myself a almost 4 yr old boy and a girl who is almost 1 1/2 and while i would like to have more kids right now i have bills to pay and enough keeping up with two that i know i dont need a newborn to throw in the mix and that a baby takes a lot of time, attention, and money to get started not to mention is it a physical longing to be pregnant or are you really wanting to expand your family because he says that after this time there will NEVER be another baby which scares you so i think settle on two because while they start out small they grow up and take more time and money and energy to keep up with
2007-02-17 12:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by sexy b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should persuade him not to get fixed, and instead sort out some form of long term contraception such as the coil(lasts for 5 years). Then you can still have the option to have kids in a few years and you won't feel like this is 'the end'.
24 is a little too young to be getting a vasectomy anyway, who knows what may happen in the future.
2007-02-17 12:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're not crazy. But it sounds like you have enough to do with a toddler and an infant. You've been blessed with 2 beautiful children that both you and your husband wanted with all your hearts. If he doesn't want more children, that should be the end of the conversation. Go hug your babies and feel grateful every day that you have such a wonderful family.
2007-02-17 12:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you should sit down and tell him how much it would mean to you to have one more if he says no still, can you see yourself never having anymore children. i dont think its fair what he is saying to you he's either gonna give you one more or he's not i dont think your crazy sounds like you just really want another child if your having a hard time with your kids already maybe thats why he is saying no
2007-02-17 12:36:11 · answer #10 · answered by missaskalot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋