Spanked my Sister?

Question

Well last year my parents passed away and my younger sister(she is 17 i am 24) came to live with me. Well she had been acting out a bit the last 3 months but nothing serious. But a few days a go she showed up at the house at 4 in the morning clearly drunk(probably done drugs) Well first i figured I should take care of her now and we would discuss it tommrow. So i took care of her and what not. The next day I went in to her room to speak to her about it and she cussed me out. I was so upset i pulled her over my knee and spanked her long and hard. Her bottom was crimson. I left her to collect herself and came back to speak with her about 10 mins later. We hugged, I explained my situation layed out some rules and all that jazz and then we went to a movie. Thinks have been quite a bit better since then. But I just kept feeling weird about it liek I mean i am her sister it was weird to step into the mom mode. do you think this is too werid?

Answer 1

OK, I'll start off by saying, I wouldn't have done the same. That's not to say I am right, it's just come on, she's 17. Next year, she'll be an adult, you can't be there to spank her every time she messes up. I will say, at least your handling the situation. Next time just try something like grounding, or stripping out her room of everything she has (except a bed) until she proves she can act more grown up. Or if it gets real bad, follow her everywhere she goes (class, activities....) be attached to the hip.

I am all for spanking, I spank all my girls, however their all under 11, I mean 17 i think is just a bit to old for childish punishments. Then again, I don't have a 17 year old, so that's just an uneducated opinion.

Good Luck

Answer 2

First - you must know that you are in a horribly difficult situation. It's so sad that your parents are gone and that at 24, you are responsible for a 17 year old girl. Definitely not the norm in our society.

Is it weird that you spanked her? Well - not weird - but probably not the best choice. You were angry. I don't think it's a good idea to give physical punishment when you are angry. Plus - she's 17. I believe that physical punishment is for little children who can't understand any other way.

TALK with your sister. The fact that you set some rules is great. There's nothing wrong with agreeing on some rules together - and deciding the consequences for breaking the rules. Put it on paper and both of you can sign it. That way, when she breaks the rules, all you have to do is show her the paper - and the paper can be the "bad guy" - not you.

Also - it's important that your sister understands that you are in charge. You're only 24 - but I'm assumimg that legally - you are her gaurdian until she's 18. And - it looks like she's making some bad choices - so she needs a positive influence right now. I'm sure it's hard for her too. Your parents just are not supposed to be gone at that age.

Actually - I think that one day - the two of you will laugh together about the time she came home drunk and you SPANKED her for it - even though she was almost as big as you. (Honestly - I'm surprised she didn't smack you back! That happens when older kids are physically punished.)

Most importantly - KNOW THIS... the two of you have been through a lot. You're doing the best you can! LOVE is what will get you through this. I'm sure that above and beyond everything else - you LOVE your sister. If you can always remember to act from a place of love - you'll be just fine!

Namaste!

Answer 3

lol you spanked a 17yr old. First off maybe she is acting due to the death of your parents ever think about that what she did was not right but spanking her wasn't right either. You are her guardian and have to take care of her but would you have wanted to be spanked at 17! I think not there are better ways to address this subject. Furthermore its a little odd that an aunt, or grandparent didnt take custoday of this child you infact though older are still a child and I can see why she doesnt view you as an adult figure you are after all just a sibling.

I have custody of both my nephews now ages 15 and 17 I have had them since they were 5 yrs old and been in their lives since the day they were born and would never imagine spanking them, I think your a bit off when she's seeing a therapist over this let them know you spanked her.

Answer 4

It sounds like you really love your sister and it is great that you are taking care of her. You shouldn't feel weird. Someone has to step up and be a role model for her and unfortunately discipline is part of taking care of her. I think spanking at 17 is probably innappropriate though because she is too old for that. Have you considered any counseling for you and her to help adjust to your new roles. Also, her drinking and drug use need to be addressed before they get out of control. I know most of us have done the same thing, but I just hope her use is not stemming from the loss of her parents. Best of luck to you guys, it sounds like you love each other a great deal.

Answer 5

Not at all. She needs direction and you are the responsible party. It sounds like you did the spanking the right way. On her bottom. I have always told my kids that if they act like adults they will be treated so. If they act like children then they will be treated as such. The last time I spanked my daughter she was 16. Since then as with you things have been better. The best part that people don't do and you did is to talk and explain your actions. She needs to know that you still love her but there are rules in your house as well as in society. It's hard, but you don't have to teach a kid to be bad you have to teach them what's right.

Answer 6

Well, I don't think it's weird. I also have a sister who is almost 24 herself. My mom passed away when I was 7 months old, so my sister just always felt the need to "take her place". She has never "spanked" me or anything, but she has taken the role of the mother at times.. Would get angry when I tried smoking and drinking. All that. I think it happens to all older siblings. They kind of take the role as the "third parent".

But with you being her "guardian", there are times you need to make her mind you. And if that means spanking, or grounding, or whatever, go ahead and do it. Otherwise she'll think of you just like that. A sister. She'll tell you that you can't tell her what to do because of it. Trust me. I have told my sister that hundreds of times, when I was a teenager. But yeah. Good luck. And sorry to hear about your parents. It's hard as heck to live without one, but I couldn't imagine living without two.

Answer 7

Christina, I am glad things seem better now, but you acted on an impulse as evidence now by you asking this question. If my gut is correct, althouugh things are fine, you are worried and you should be. When you hit big people, they sometimes decide to hit back. Please do not make it a habit, I hope you expressed to her that you lost your temper, even though you clearly dominated her, it was like a fight and I am sure she was humiliated. Let her know it is not okay for people to hit her when they are upset with her...make sure you do not begin a cycle of abuse that will having you shed tears at her situation down the road, and you are her sister, not her mother, you too need to have a relationship with dialog, not violence.

Peace and Blessings

Answer 8

I think you did good. I wouldnt worry too much about it. She is obviously lost on what it correct behavior for someone her age. You are 7 years older than she and basically a full adult. She may be technically almost an adult by the eyes of the law but to you, she is your little sister who needs just a little more guidence to get her through this world unharmed. I say Bravo!

Answer 9

While I don't approve of the spanking of minors, I would have to agree with a previous poster that her acting out was a need for attention that she doesn't get anymore. In most cases like this, it doesn't matter if the attention is positive or negative, as long as the person feels that she's not being ignored. Also, your sister may have had a lot of pent-up emotion from the loss of her parents, and the spanking may have helped her to let go and cry.

While I'm not experienced with spanking children, I do have some experience with spanking adults for therapeutic reasons. One young lady (actually was older than myself, but I call all the ladies that I spank "young lady") would start to act out every month or so as daily stress started to build within her. She would start drinking, staying up late, ignoring her diet and just about anything else that was dangerous for her. She was hyperglycemic (high blood sugar, usually associated with diabetes), so these things greatly worried me, especially the drinking. When able, I would have her visit me, during which she would be scolded/lectured on her behavior, and then placed over my knee for a sound spanking until she was in tears. This was a cathartic release, allowing her to cry out her frustration and stress. She would behave for about another month, when the stress would start to build up again.

A part of her session was knowing that someone cared enough to attend to her. You see, she never HID what she did, and I lived much too far away to keep tabs on her. When she misbehaved, she TOLD me about it. She wanted to know that I'd hold her accountable, and I always did. These seeking of attention is well-known in the spankophile realm, and it's fairly common for a spankee to misbehave in minor, often harmless ways in order to get her spanker's attention for a quick bottom-warming. This is usually just in fun, as long the spankee doesn't take things too far, and is playfully known as "bratting" by the adult consensual spanking community.

Answer 10

On the contrary, you paid her the attention she was probably begging for since the passing of your parents, you showed that you care about her. You'll feel a little weird, but the feeling will go away.