My mom fell and now she can barely walk we are buy a motorized scooter?

Question

scooter for her. Here is my Problem, My husband and I cannot afford one. She doesn't want to go thru Medicare because she said she needs it now. She recently recieved a inheritance (small) which would help her buy this scooter. She tells and argues with me and says she doesn't want to spend the money. She is calling me and asking me my every move and asked if I had bought the scooter yet . I said Mom my husband and I are trying to get by oursleves. She is all set (home) and gets by. We are short every month. I have told her I need a job and she said whos going to take me to doctor. She doesn't even offer gas money. She makes me feel guilty on wanting to get a job and be succesful. I have told her I have a job interview on Monday the 19th Feb. She said what about my doctors appt??? She wants no one else to help her (any suggestions??

Answer 1

Lynn,

I'm sorry you're going through this. My mother behaves much the same way. When my husband was forced to retire a few years ago, our income dropped 40% immediately, something we thought was still a few years away. My mother is disabled, on SSI, so she has both Medicare and Medicaid that covers everything she truly NEEDS. Still, every conversation was about something she expected me to buy for her, regardless of whether we could afford it or not. It got to the point where the stress she was causing was negatively impacting my health. Finally, I had to just explain things to her one more time and tell here that if she kept asking for money or for me to buy things for her, I'd hang up the phone. Sadly, she didn't care, so we no longer even speak. I hope you can avoid getting to that point, but remember that you are entitled to a life. It's not as if she truly needs something that she can't get. She can get the scooter through Medicare, and you need to stand your ground. If she truly needs it, she'll take the Medicare option. Don't let her put a guilt trip on you.

There's something else to consider here too. Has a doctor told you she needs the scooter? That's another thing my mother did. She insisted that she needed a motorized wheel chair. Went from doctor to doctor until one certified it for Medicare. The good doctors warned her that she didn't need it; that she needed to do physical therapy and walk. She didn't listen. Now, because she didn't do the PT and stayed in the chair so much, she really has lost the ability to walk.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I don't want anyone to think that Munya is a mother-hater, but What the f, ya know? Why does Mom think YOU are the one to BUY HER the damn scooter? Who's the scooter for---MOM! Either mom goes thru Medicare or she fronts the cash herself.

Now I can see if mom didnt have a spare penny, but you just said she got some moula...I'd be all "mom, look. you cant take it with you, spend the cash on the scooter or you'll be getting it ripped off by the govt WHEN I PUT YOU IN A SH!THOLE NURSING HOME"
I know, I know, it's your mom. She sounds a little too demanding. If she hasnt always been like this, I'd say she has a bit of Alzheimers coming on, too. Speak with her doctor about that.
Tell mom you are going to get a job so you can buy her the scooter.
Then get yourself a job. And apply for the scooter with medicare. By the time you "saved money from your job" for the scooter, it'll be there from medicare.
Good luck. Mothers can be tough.

Answer 3

I called the Scooter Store that they advertise on T.V.and my hubby had his within 10 days...It is an 800 number and I can not find it right now but the commercail is always on T>V. and they arwe wonderful. Medicare paid for almost all of it and then they set up small payments...the chair was $8,000.00 and all we had to pay was $600.00 and Medicare paid the rest..if she has it she should use it that is why she has it...You shouldn't let anyone make you feel guilty...I know she is your Mom and you want to help her but she also has to help herself...She is not being fair to you and your husband. The more you help the more she will expect it....it is your choice. I explained to my Mom and she totally understood, that when I can help, I will.....call teh Scooter Store and explian to them....they will help you...and they come right to the house to show you how to use it...etc., good luck...

Answer 4

My first suggestion is to become 'more' assertive with MOM.

Remember, she does not have alot to do but remind you of her needs, I would go thru Medicare, the wait would probably be about the same, plus she should be seen and evaluated by her doctor as to the fall. There maybe further situations regarding this fall that will need to be documented. Please give this some
thought.

I took care of both my parents. I do realize what you and your husband are going through.

good luck to all of you.

Answer 5

Since you are short of funds, check with medicare and see if they will give it to you. I do not know their time horizon, but tell her since you are strapped for cash, it is your only option. Since she is home alone and cannot walk, do you need to see about putting her in a home so she does not fall again?

Also to help your finances, give your first 10% of your income to your charity of choice and it will come back to you as more. It will give you some financial "breathing room." You might even get a better job.