I am just curious about the pride of pastors' wives. Is there really something to be happy of in being one?

Answer 1

Hi,
I asked my wife this question and here is her answer:
I am not sure what you mean by "pride". If you are asking if a pastor's wife has a strong, good sense of self-esteem then in my case the answer is yes. But let me address the other side of the question that is unexpressed. Many pastor's wives struggle with their own self-worth for a number of reasons including abusive childhood experiences, low self-esteem prior to entering ministry, and then the ridiculous pressures placed on the wives of all public figures to fit into some imaginary profile that their constituents cram onto them. For example, I know a local politician who is really good at what he does, is fair, and is making great headway in guiding our city ethically and morally. His wife is a beautiful woman inside and out, is a Sunday school teacher and is raising four sons. For some reason, once her husband took office, suddenly everybody wants her to be paraded around in expensive clothes, get a maid, get a nanny, and become a trinket on her husband's arm. When she said "no" people began to question her "loyalty" to her husband and to his platform. Isn't that ridiculous? Some of us are her friends and we value her based on what God says, not what insecure and controlling people say.
Now, in answer to your question, I am very happy as a pastor's wife though I did not begin as a pastor's wife. We are not some special pool of mashocistic women that pastor's go to to find a wife. I am an individual with my own inherent self-worth, with a value given to me by God that does not depend on what others think of me. I met my husband, a business consultant, at a missions expo led by my father (retired Marine Colonel and pastor of a small mission church) and at which my future husband's father was a guest speaker (missionary, evangelist, pastor, etc.). My husband was a business person for years before he was called into ministry and he has always supported my individuality. Later, as a pastor, he would remind people that I am an individual, not a trophy or an extension of his own personality, and not someone to be used by him or anyone else. I teach, witness to people, co-raised our son, and work with my husband only in the areas I feel led to participate. I am not a free second staff member that came along with my husband. After 22 years of marriage, he still chases me around the house, flirts like crazy, kisses me and calls me pet names (sometimes even in public), and we are soooo in love. We have weathered so many storms together because of our commitment to Christ and to each other. Here is how my husband sets the priority in our home: Christ first, me second, children third, and congregation fourth. He refuses to put our church or the kids ahead of my needs and has taken extended time off to be with me for surgery and illness. He blesses me with love, joy and happiness and thus exemplifies how Christ loves the church. I couldn't be any happier knowing my Lord and my husband love me completely. If you are considering marrying a preacher, make sure he is not operating out of a deep insecurity that drives him to pastor out of a need for attention. Any man's need for attention can quickly leave his wife in a closet with unmet needs. Also, you make sure that you are not "needy" and desperate for a man's attention. My husband teaches that marriage is made up of two whole people coming together to make something incredible---not two half-developed people trying to fix themselves by gluing on someone else's strengths to compensate for what they lack. You make sure you are complete as a person, then seek God's guidance on finding another person who is also complete (not perfect or you'll never marry but complete in that you are settled in your identity). If your identity as a person of worth is not settled you will be deceived. Make sure Christ is Lord in your life and the Lord of Life himself will bring the right man into your life as your life-time companion and co-worker. God bless you.

Answer 2

My grandmother was a pastor's wife and was very proud of it. I would have loved to been married to a pastor. Is there anything to be happy about? Well of course, why not? A pastor is still a man, after all. The pastors I know are very dedicated to God, church, family and community, and that's as it should be. A pastor's wife has many functions and is generally a helpmate to her husband. I can think of no better calling.

Answer 3

About 20 years ago (when I was still living at home and forced to attend church) my pastors wife raised 3 kids. When they were teenagers, the daughter got pregnant, one son was arrested on suspicion of selling drugs, and to make things worse, her husband (the pastor) left her and the kids and ran off with another woman.
That was a HUGE scandal in our church. It actually helped me to leave too as I figured that he probably was not the only pastor who was living a lie.

Within a year the pastors wife had moved away, although the kids stayed because it was their home. The church took more than a year to get a new pastor. They didnt want to be part of a church of such scandal.

Answer 4

I believe the calling is not only for the pastor but for the wife also. I takes a special kind of woman to be a pastor's wife to help and support her husband.

Answer 5

Speaking as a Pastor's wife, I find it an honor that God would choose me to work side by side in the Ministry with one of His called men. My husband and I work together for the good of the Lord and try to help lead the people of the Church in the way that God would have them go.

Answer 6

I guess if a woman is sooo happy with her religiosity it is a great ego boost and a smug victory to marry the pastor.

Answer 7

I know a few pastors' wives, and they seem like ordinary people. At least, to me. And yes, I also know a few doctors' wives (some of whom are doctors themselves) and they also seem like ordinary people to me. Wife, mother, friend, home-maker.

Answer 8

definite, this is undesirable that you're satisfied that she's ill and undesirable for her because she likely doesn't do not forget that you're satisfied that she's ill and undesirable for you if she ever exhibits out that this is the way you experience! LOL!

Answer 9

Yeah. To a Christian woman, if you've married a pastor, you'd be proud of him because (hopefully) he is a good person who's leading others to God.

Answer 10

I'd think it an honor to know a spouse was full of good things and I;d be proud too.