Lame jokes?

Question

can anyone pls share lame jokes? or even anything that's really funny!

Answer 1

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

Answer 2

The Riddle
On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. He asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?"
"That`s easy," she replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors."

"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" he inquired.
"You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in."

When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?"
Blair replied, "That`s easy. The child was me."
"Very good," said the Queen, "You may go, now."

So President Bush went back to Washington and called in his chief of staff, Karl Rove. He said to him,
"I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your > > sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?"
Rove replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?"
"Yes," said Bush, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer."

So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.
As Rove was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him. So he said,
"Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?"
"That's easy," said Powell, "The child was me."

"Oh thank you," said Rove, "You may just have saved me my job!" So Rove went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush,
"I think I know the answer to your riddle.
The child was Colin Powell!"


"No, you idiot!" shouted Bush,


"The child was Tony Blair!"

Answer 3

here's a lame one:

What's the deal with Ovaltine?

The mug is round. The jar is round. It should be called Roundtine.

Answer 4

HERE'S A LAME ONE:

How can an egg be dropped onto a floor without Crackin' it?

A: CONCRETE FLOORS CANNOT BE BROKEN (got it!)

Answer 5

why was tigger looking in the toilet he was looking for pooh