Your child intends to marry this person. What would you do or say, if anything?
2007-02-16 23:25:48 · 10 answers · asked by Jokin' Jo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Bring it up once and only once. They have to know where you stand.
2007-02-18 20:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by smokingun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it some thought as to why you don't like them. If it's simply that they aren't your 'cup of tea.' then you don't say anything. If you have concrete reasons why you feel they wouldn't make your child a good spouse, then perhaps you should calmly talk to your son or daughter and tell him/her why you have those reservations. For example: You say, "Cindy seems to have a really hard time managing money, have the two of you talked about how you are going to handle your finances once you are together? I'm worried that life will always be a struggle for you and it will eventually ruin your marriage." That is a concrete issue to bring up, rather than just saying, "I don't like him/her." Then perhaps your child will give it some serious thought before jumping into marriage. But if you don't have anything concrete, how can your child approach it in a realistic manner?
2007-02-17 07:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want a relationship with your child, then don't say anything.
If you do say something, it will only cause hurt between you and the child and probably the future in law. I know, I didn't care for my daughter's finance, and I said so in the beginning while they were dating. After they announced they were getting married, I
helped her with all the wedding plans and even paid for most of the honeymoon and still 7 years later I still hear how we didn't like him and so on.....really I think she knows we were right. But I
never want to loose that connection with my daughter and if that is what she wants then she shall have it and all that goes with it.
2007-02-17 16:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would do is think to myself; does this person make MY CHILD happy? Is this the person MY CHILD wants to grow old with? Is MY CHILD happy? It isn't YOUR decision, it is theirs. You have to be happy for them and support them. Later if it doesn't work out you can be there for your child but in the meantime, you have to bite the bullet and be nice. Always try to treat the fiance the way you would want her/him to treat you. Don't cause problems.
2007-02-17 08:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by Texas Pineknot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My MIL didnt like me AT ALL. She actually cried when he told her we had gotten engaged, and not tears of joy. His dad did too.
But I have found that her dislike of me has worked to my advantage because she now lives in fear of me and I quite like it. Basically I helped my husbands spine develope and she realized that if she wanted to be a part of his life then she would have to fit into my life as well. And that she would have to fit me, not me fit her. Its great seeing her squirm, but I must say, she deserves it, she said not nice things about me, my family, my lifestyle(and I am from a good family and am quite conservative, I'm not running around with pink hair shooting up drugs) right from the start. I put up with alot.
I would say if you dont like your soon to be DIL/SIL then suck it up, they are going to be a part of your family whether you like it or not. And believe me if it comes down to a choice between you and the new spouse, your child will pick the spouse, not you. And believe me, the rift you create is not worth getting to see your grandchildren. Find something you like about them and focus on that.
2007-02-17 08:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. You can talk until your face turns blue but if they are in love it won't change a thing except the way they think about you. Just be glad they are happy.
2007-02-17 07:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by K-E-G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it alone. All it would do is cause comotion. Its their life and its their future. If they are in love with this person and think its right,..there is nothing you can do to make them not go through with it. And if you did....it would just be wrong. If its not right, they'll learn through trial and error. but...its their choice in the end
2007-02-18 05:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say nothing and learn to be happy that your child is happy. Don't judge, and take them in as your own.
2007-02-17 11:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by kaitlyn.roberts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do. If your Son / Daughter loves their partener then you should respect that. It is awkward for you but its not all about you its about them and their happiness..
2007-02-17 07:30:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say nothing. Your not the one marrying him/her.
2007-02-17 08:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋