4 weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me. For the past 3 years we had no problems no real arguements, we were both happy (I know this because he told me) and he loved me (so as he said). However for the past year I had become insecure and anxious about him. In the past he had these committment phobic issues, brought by his parents splitting up ages ago and him ending every single relationship before he met me. He also had these phobias while we were going out but had tolds me this and convinced me that he does want to be with me. So from then on I committed myself to make him happy and comfortable with the relationship, making it all cruisy so he won't be committment phobic. Then all of a sudden, out of no where he just dumped me. He said that he feels unhappy, he doesn't know why but he doesn't feel the same way and he couldn't stop pretending anymore. I kept on asking why what has changed and he kept on saying he doesn't know. What the hell. I haven't contacted him ever since he dumped me.
2007-02-16 19:17:37 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that really sucks. I'm sorta in the same situation but enough about my crapass life. i say you give it some time and let him come to you. you're the girl so stand your ground cause he dumped you - vice versa. even though it's been 3 years and it's hard to get over, you shouldn't let it go to your head right away all at once. guys do the stupidest **** ever to girls and don't realize what they had until they lost it. so maybe he feels like that but if he has commitment problems, then i'm not sure. he's a stupid *** for pretending to you making whatever he said to you all a lie. matters on how much he said to you that he was pretending about. that's all your choice to let him go or keep trying for him. sorry about that though. hope you figure it out. good luck
2007-02-16 19:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by Ahmad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience with guys dumping girls cause of committment issues is because he's not that into you. Seriously, guys can go dating until 50 but girls gotta get married before 35 or else starting a family can be dangerous. And guys don't "need" to have kiddies since that would cramp their style.
I don't think he's cheating, but I do think he wants to play the field a bit longer. 3 years with one person (dating wise) is just too long. Guys usally know if he wants to be with a certain girl after a few months. if he doesn't seriously start the marriage process by then, it's wise to break up or look for alternatives.
It's good if girls have backups and most certainly guys have backups in his mind all the time (when he's not with you).
Only way he'll contact you is for sex or if he's feeling down or lonely. Nothing would get him madder than knowing you're happy and sexually satisfied without him. Go torture him!!
2007-02-17 03:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by Slick Fashion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably going through one of his insecure phases. If you still love him, then it's safe to know that he will come back to you eventually after realising that you are the one for him. The question is when.
His reason for dumping you may be based on something he needs to solve on his own - things like this needs time and support.
If you want, you can wait another 4 weeks to see if he comes back to you. If not, it's probably safe to say you should move on.
Do note that since your relationship lasted 3 years, it was probably the most serious, longest and happiest relationship that he had with any girl.
Good luck
2007-02-17 03:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a committment phobe, always a committment phobe.
He never got over his phobia. You couldn't change him or save him. He probably felt too restricted and wanted to spread his wings to freedom. You don't want a guy like that.
2007-02-17 03:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you dont get the answers you need. You just need to stay strong move on and realize he had some issues so better now then later on when you guys could of been married.
2007-02-17 03:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Lin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there before, try to be around friends who don't judge you. I'm sure there was somebody who had a crush on you when you were with your b/f, time to give some else a chance when you feel better about yourself. Remember, it really wasn't you it was really him who had A problem.
2007-02-17 03:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by already_enuff_spice_in_this 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that he's the one with the commitment problem. He really isn't worth loosing sleep over. Don't bother wasting your time with trying to get him to give you an answer. Just move on and don't blame yourself for anything.
2007-02-17 04:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he dumped you like that he isnt worth contatcing!
personally i think you should start getting on with your life - even if he came back to you it would probably happen again!
Time is a great healer! and in time you will find somebody else who is special! :)
2007-02-17 04:39:35 · answer #8 · answered by Jemmax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything, its him that is disillusioned with the relationship and life in general by the sounds of it. Let him come out of it in his own time, if things are meant to be then they will if not at least you can move on with your own life.
2007-02-17 04:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by felicity_pink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just grown apart.. I know its hard and that you can not switch your feelings off... But don't contact him and move on with your life... You won't feel like it now but you will meet the prefect Mr Right!!!
2007-02-17 03:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋