Disagreement on which religion to raise future children?

Question

Okay, my husband and I have been over this many times and it always turns out the same. He believes in God, not just one specific religion, and I completely respect that. I on the other hand am Wiccan and would like to raise my future children on the Wiccan path. I understand that he wants them to make their own decisions, but I don't see how an infant can make that sort of decision. Every parent has the right to choose which religion their children practice. Bar-Mitzvahs, Christenings, and dragging them to church every week. Doing those things are an expression of the parent's chosen religion, so why should I be deprived the chance to share my religion with my child? I don't hold it against my husband for his choice of beliefs, but I think I deserve the same respect. I wish that I could get him to listen to me on the subject, but there's nothing I haven't already said to him. He says "Let them choose." I say "Give them options." What should I do?!?!?!

Answer 1

I am sure you've already had this discussion before the child was born, and obviously it either was not resolved then, or one of you decided to renege on an earlier promise.

I will tell you two things: 1) the mother is the greatest spiritual influence a person will ever have and 2) the child will one day rebel against that.

Answer 2

You're both saying the same thing, you know.

If they're going to choose, they need options. If you want to give them options, that means you want them to choose between those options.

But no, parents don't have the right to MAKE their children in a Christian or a Wiccan. Well...... they as parents CAN but it's quite a horrible thing to do. You think you should tell a child "this IS what you are" before the child has any idea what it is or even if they agree with it?

If you both feel that your child should share in your religious experience, fine, if you feel it's necessary, but don't tell them "this IS what you are". Tell them "this is what we believe and it works for us. We'll show you how it works AND let you explore OTHER paths." Then FOLLOW THROUGH.

Answer 3

This is a subject that is very touchy on SO many levels. The way my wife and I resolved it was through education and understanding. We allowed our daughter to explore and make up her own mind. Faith is a personal thing and should not be forced on someone. We let her mother explain her reasons for her faith, and I explained mine. We then let her choose where she wanted to study and worship. She has been part of 2 handfastings and a samhein. She also went to the southern baptist church her mom attended. When all was said and done, she decided to attend an episcopal church...go figure. The MOST important part is letting them know that you care, and answering their questions. Even if it means going to places you've never been. You may find that their search for faith can teach you as well.

Answer 4

i understand your situation.
my girlfriend and i are also wiccan and are being handfasted soon, but we have decided not to teach our children anything and let them wander on their own path. of course infants can't make that decision, but they don't need to make that decision at that age. we decided that our children will walk down whichever path they want to when (or perhaps if) they want to.
i feel that teaching people one certain religion as truth deprives them of their own spiritual imagination, because everyone has a different outlook on life, and noone should stand in the way of that outlook developing.

hope this made sense :)

Answer 5

I would say that you could just allow your kids to take the lead in this. Simply go about your life practicing your faith and exposing your children to other faiths. You don't have to have them attend rituals or go to churches for them to learn about different people and their beliefs.

And when they ask questions just answer them in as fair and balanced a way as you can, "I believe this, but others believe that..." and so on. In the end they will feel comfortable making their own decisions about faith because you felt comfortable enough to allow them to learn and explore many different faiths freely.

Answer 6

First of all, do not worry about religion while your child is an infant, there is no point teaching him about religion, it is beyond his knowledge and understanding at that point. Once he becomes old enough, explain to him the concept of religion and encourage him to examine different faiths and choose the one (or none) that he wants.
-Your job as a parent is NOT to get him to follow the faith YOU want him to follow. Your job is to respect the religion he chooses for himself.

Answer 7

Brainwashing is evil, and all too often leads to an adult life of bigotry and condemning all who don't follow said belief system.. Although, teaching your children about various religious history and tradition can be very healthy for a child.

Answer 8

How can they choose if they don't know the options argument - God is not a choice of Religions - He is a Being with whom we choose to have a relationship with - He is real, He interacts, His Presence touches the soul. In this case I would have to agree with your husband. It would be better to share your beliefs with them after they have had a real encounter with a living God. They will at least know He is real - your way they may never really know that.

Answer 9

you haven't any longer accomplished an exceptionally solid activity of articulating precisely what the conflict of words is. you like the youngster in private college and your husband isn't non secular? those 2 issues have no longer something to do with one yet another. until eventually with the help of private college you advise a non secular college which incredibly lots ensures the precise opposite of a robust education.

Answer 10

Don't inflict religion on your children . This is a form of child abuse. Let them make up their own minds when they are adults.