I know some of you may think this sounds stupid and immediately will think I'm trying to take advantage of the guy I know.
Well..
Let me explain:
I'm 18 years old, almost 19 years old and I've known this guy since the age of 13, but now, since I'm 18, I'm now living with him. I moved from Indiana to Texas to live with him. He's helped me through it all - when my dad lost his job, got laid off, and we needed money for food. He is now helping me get on my feet and until then, offered for me to live with him. I feel like I owe him a lot in return. He's very kind to me. I don't want him to think I'm taking advantage of him at all. I really do love him ALOT. I wish I could just explain to him in words how much, but I cannot do that, I'd just have to do that by my actions.
In return, I want to make love to him :
Kiss, cuddle, hug, and eventually have sex.
I'm not sure if he really wants to have sex with me and I'm a little scared to push it.
How do I convince him? Sighs
2007-02-16 18:01:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't convince and or make someone have sex with you. If you really love him like you say you do, you would wait until he's ready to have sex with you. Besides, you guys are friends? Yeah, he may have helped you out a lot, but sex??? I don't know, there are other ways to show your appreciation towards him.
♥ Christina
2007-02-16 18:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Christina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Michelle,
I want to be extremely honest with you here, ok? That's the best way to be, right?
What we have here is three elements that do not mix well -
1. "Love"
2. "Sex"
3. "Quid Pro Quo" - ( You do this for me, I do that for you. )
When you combine those together, you're getting off on the wrong foot from the very start.
This man is obviously very generous and cares for you, or he would not offer his home and refuge to you in your times of problems. So he's apparently a pretty good guy. And it seems that he's asked nothing of you in return, at least in the aspect of something physical.
I believe that you do indeed owe him, in words, an explaination of how you're feeling about him. It's right, and it's fair. And I think if the roles were reversed, you would expect that kind of honesty from him. If you were to offer "sex" only, you might be sending an entirely wrong message.
I realize there are people on here who are going to give you advice and tell you that "all men are alike" and that sex is what drives their motivations, but that is not so in all men, and I think you know that.
If you truly care for this man, or love him, as you say you do, then you owe it to him to be honest. If you are not, then I truly question your sincerety regarding this man. I think you know what the right thing to do is, and I would suggest taking that route because it's the proper one to take.
Best wishes!
2007-02-17 02:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by C J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing I can think of it DONT RUSH...This guy seems like a very upstanding young man..He is being so nice and helpful and if you seduce him into doin something he really had no heart to do, then you could really mess a beautiful friendship up..I would just be who you are,,let him be who he is,,if and when he becomes interested then he will make a move..Dont hear of too many men who will respect women like this so you ought to feel blessed you found one..He respects you and right now sounds like he sees you as a friend..Dont ruin that..Stay friends..Enjoy life..Sex is not all that..and it could seperate you both forever..Love is patient so if you love him,,be patient with him and you will see later down the road what you really mean to him..God bless you
2007-02-17 02:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by glowworm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but it seems that he would have already tried if he wanted it.
But if you really want it, put on something sexy and tell him how you've been thinking about you and him getting together.
If that doesn't work, then just walk up to him and kiss him with all of the passion that you think you feel.
If he wants you, he'll let you know right then and there.
I must say though, it sounds like there is something missing in this story.
2007-02-17 02:08:59 · answer #4 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are very grateful for all that he has done for you. You do not owe him a lot in return. If you did, he would tell you. You may love him, but probably are not in love with him. In return for all he has done, you want to make love to him? Maybe his love for you was unconditional and maybe he is not in love with you.
On the orher hand I can understand your confusion. He really has gone above and beyond what even husbands would do. I think your love for him should have to do with who he is as opposed to what he has done for you. I know they are closely tied, but there is more to him than that and you know that. That is what you must discover.
2007-02-17 02:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, don't push. In this type of situation, he probably has a lot going on supporting you. And sex may just bring a baby which will too much. If you really want to have sex, do safe sex, or use strict protection. (I would use condom AND pill just to be sure).
2007-02-17 02:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Michelle,
It doesn't take much coaxing to get a guy interested in having sex with you, trust me. Just put your arms around him and grind into him. He'll get the idea real quick.
Be sure to have a condom on hand.
--Rick
2007-02-17 02:14:38 · answer #7 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have dinner with him and then find a moment after to "accidentally" bump in to him to get real close be aggressive and go in for a kiss if he is a real man it will take up from there
2007-02-17 02:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by frosty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL if he is any kind of man at all he wants to have sex. Believe me
2007-02-17 02:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by Matt from Ga 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
watch a video with him and share the same blanket, get closer and closer and pretend it was an accident, on the other hand you could just tell him..best of luck
2007-02-17 02:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by Ari J 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋