Me and my fiance love each other to death, but we tend to argue when we cant touch basis with each other. He dosent understaand me sometime and tend to take things i say the wrong way. And i tend to yell which sparks into an argument. We say over and over again that we can work this out talk after talk. Now im getting scared because i feel this can hurt us in the long run, like escalate into something more severe. Like were not on the same page can someone help me.
2007-02-16 17:14:12 · 8 answers · asked by beautiful 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You both "tend to" do something which, perhaps, can be changed. He tends to take things you say the wrong way, and you tend to yell. I have three suggestions, in order, the first two for you, then one that includes him.
1. Curtail the yelling. Just don't. Close your mouth on the urge to yell, or scold, or whine, or snap. Be quiet for a moment, then say something like, "Well, that's not what exactly what I meant. I was trying to say..."
2. Use the ensuing conversation to think about WHY he might be misinterpreting a lot of what you say. Can you make yourself clearer?
3. Open a discussion which includes "I think you took X the wrong way. I notice you do this sometimes. What can we do? Are we on the same page?"
Good luck to you both.
2007-02-16 17:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys should probably call it quits because you're not even married yet and here you guys are arguing like that. If I was you I wouldn't get married unless you guys find a way to resolve this yelling non-sense. Other wise you'll end up getting a divorce, either one party have to give in at the end of the argument other wise its a no win situation after you're married... Good luck..
I don't think couple therapy would work, because if no one is willing to lose in the argument or compromise then whats the point of seeing a therapist.
2007-02-16 17:18:22 · answer #2 · answered by Rain L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it may seem that you keep going over and over again with this situation. But, I think you and your mate needs to sit down and have a heart to heart talk about this matter. Taking things the wrong way can be easily done by anyone and one day it will hurt your relationship. It's all due to the way we say things. I feel you need to think before you act out or speak.
2007-02-16 17:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by sassi c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i was married flor 25 years nd things were great but over and over again i dont think so im divorced for 6 years and belive me if it cant be solved in 2 minutes it will not wok u can try and try again but if there is doubt dont or at lease take a little longer to tyhink about the situation
2007-02-16 17:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by waidman@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are clearly seriously worried about the future of your relationship because of this arguing problem. The best thing to do to nip this thing in the bud before it becomes a relationship ending problem is to take the time together to go to relationship counseling at least to see where your relationship stands and what you guys can do together to improve it.
2007-02-16 17:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by ct_girl02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are the basis that you are arguing about? Maybe you guys just aren't meant to be. Some people just don't mesh well with other people.
2007-02-16 17:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by Summerbaby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are just not meant to be together. Someone who loves you is someone who understands you and someone who forgives easily. Think, do you really love him?
2007-02-16 17:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by its only... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i can suggest one thing couples therpy it may actually work..... hope it works out between you two.
2007-02-16 17:20:17 · answer #8 · answered by Nin-ja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋