I'm going insane- my two year old will not sleep- help!!!!!?

Question

I have a two year old that for the last month has been on a sleeping strike. She won't settle down for bed before 10 PM- and she's up in the morning anywhere from 4AM to 6:30 AM. In the afternoons, I'm doing good to get her to take an hour nap. What is going on???? She's in daycare a few days a week (about 3 hours in the morning). She doesn't sleep at daycare. The rest of the day she's with me or my husband. I don't give her loads of sugar or caffeine or chocolate or anything like that. I'm ready to pull my hair out!! Any other parents out there experienced this?? Suggestions??? Advice???

Forgot to add- her attitude is the worst during the day. She's super-grumpy (probably because she's not sleeping much), she's into everything (let's see how much we can throw in the toilet before mommy catches me). She's eating and drinking very well. Plays good.

We have a routine- for nap and bedtime. It's bath, lotion, comb her hair, get her "blankie" and a babydoll, and rock until she's asleep. Keep the answers coming, please!!

OK, I can't just sleep when she's in daycare. I'm in class at college. That wouldn't work. And apparently the person that answered "it's not a big deal" must not be a parent.

Answer 1

If she is in a cot still, maybe try a bed. Shop for new sheets, make it fun.
Maybe she's stressed from you being stressed. I'm guessing your not the most fun person to be around at the moment.
Sit down with your husband work out a suitable bed time and routine before bedtime. Explain to your daughter what is going to happen, what you want her to do. and what will happen if she doesn't stay in bed. This has worked for me ( 4yr, 2.5 yr old)....
6.30 dinner
7.00 bath
quiet play till 7.30 depending on how tired they are, if have had a nap, or extra busy day.
by now are getting cranky so bring out the crazy mum stuff. use follow the leader with crazy walking/jumping to the bathroom. use rhyming words and silly songs, make it fun but don't compromise on getting the jobs done careful not to go overboard and wind her up. toilet stop, wash hands, brush teeth.Read a book or 5! while snuggling on one of their beds or the couch. kisses, back scratch (light with my fingernails) out i go. If they get up its straight back to bed, minimum conversation, minimum fuss, pretend like its not bothering you. Took me about a week of constantly taking back, but are since excellent.

You daughter is possibly way overtired so a bit crazy from this too.
Is daycare for naps an option (to relieve the overtiredness a bit in short term), peer pressure works great!
Remember BIG praise even for little successes, and 2 year olds understand a lot more than we realise. Set up want you want to do, get back up from hubby, friends, family (cach a nap yourself so your able to cope better) explain to her and follow through calmly, consistently until its working.
another thought. is she getting good quality attention from you both every day?
a good supportive Play group/mothers group has been my sanity saver. To know your not alone, get some ideas from people you know and trust and wear the kids out with some physical activity. Good Luck - just remember it won't always be like this....

Answer 2

Keep your normal routine.

Whatever time she sleeps at night wake her up at her usual bed time in the morning. Then, keep her up until her normal nap time. Then, put her to sleep at her usual bedtime. Create a bed time routine if you haven't already.

Give her a bath, read her a story or two, rock her and sing some lullabyes. Then put her to bed. Having a bedtime routine really helps kids adjust to night time. This way they know what to expect.

My son went on a sleep strike when we came back from India. The days and nights are opposite here so after the first weeks I was adament on the routine. In two weeks he had settled back down. Nap times were harder, but now four weeks later I have no fuss from him about naps either. It just takes consistancy and patience.

PS: She'll be cranky those first few days from not being allowed to create her own schedule, but she'll sleep like a log!

She's cranky because she's not getting enough sleep. It's affecting her moods. My son would stumble around and become very clumsy. It really freaked me out. They need a good 10-12 hours at night and a good 2 hour nap. Night time is the most important sleep as they get their REM then. A normal routine especially at bedtime will do you wonders.

Answer 3

Just want to start with this ... at 2 she shouldn't be having any caffeine or chocolate or anything like that. What does she drink during the day? Fruit 'punch' or 'drink' or 'cocktail' is not the same thing as fruit juice, and some kids have sensitivities to food dyes that are put into those drinks. Our son is a very high energy kid, and our dietitian advised us not to give him iced tea, kool aid, caramel or cinnamon. We stick with milk, water and 100% juice as a treat. The sleep thing was a problem for us too, although my solution in the morning was to bring our son in to bed with me. Your daughter is old enough to start having a set bedtime at night (definitely earlier than 10:00), and having a bedtime routine helped us. Maybe it starts with a bath, or a certain snack, but our routine always ended with me reading a story and singing a special tuck-in song. I told my kids that even if they didn't go to sleep, they still had to go to bed and stay there. That policy is one I've been so thankful for ever since, and as our kids grew older bedtime was never an issue. As for naps, not all kids need them. Our son never slept more than an hour during the day even when he was a newborn, and he was always an early riser. It meant I didn't get "breaks" while he slept, but I survived. Be patient, and good luck.

Answer 4

I know how you feel. My almost 3 yr old daughter was on a pretty good schedule for a while, but now she goes to bed anywhere between 10pm and 2 am.

It started 5 months ago when my husband became unemployed. He would keep her up with him watching TV until the wee hours of morning. Then she couldn't go to bed without the couch and TV. She still rathers the couch than her bed.

She used to have a schedule for bed. She used to listen to a "baby to sleep" cd everynight at bed, but now she doesn't want to hear it. I used to read her a book every night before bed, but now that seems to just get her overly excited and so she plays while I read to her.

I can sometimes get her to go to sleep earlier, but no earlier than 9pm, by going to bed myself and she'll come to bed with me. She will do this even if my husband is watching TV-sometimes.

It is true that the more activity going on in the house, the harder it is for my daughter to go to bed. (Unfortunately, I can't get my husband to go to bed at a descent time.)

I try to turn off all the lights to get her in the mood to go to bed, but sometimes she just wants to play and turns light on again.

I have also found that giving her milk or water at bedtime helps her get tired and go to sleep.

I like the other person's response also about eating a snack. I found that I am tired shortly after eating both lunch and dinner, so it's gotta work with a kid, too!! I would say oatmeal cookies or crackers would be a safe bet that would sit on the belly for a while.

Good luck to you. Just know that you are not alone (I am right there with you) and that you aren't doing anything wrong.

Answer 5

I think all children attempt this. My 3 sure did. My advice is simply don't allow this! I know it it EXTREMELY difficult, but she has to go back to bed. All children thrive on structure, no matter how much they protest. She is trying you, so far, she's winning. They are so cute :) Anyways, I swear if you put her behind right back in bed every night, all night, no exceptions, she will figure out that you mean business. You have to be willing to ignore all excuses and crying, though. They can be very persuasive at this age. I'm willing to bet it will take a week, possibly less until it's over. Doctor's say it takes a MAX of 2 weeks to break a habit like this....if you are persistent. GOOD LUCK hope you sleep well soon.

Answer 6

She is really testing her boundaries and your patience. You have to assert yourself with her - you are the mom and she is the child. Don't give into crying or whining when putting her to bed. Set a definite time for bedtime and stick to it. If she gets up, put her back to bed no matter what excuses she comes up with. Be firm but fair about this. If she won't nap during the day then don't force her. There's a reason they call this age the terrible twos. Your child is no longer a baby but not yet a big girl, so she doesn't know where she fits.

Answer 7

Find a routine that will settle her down earlier. Like a warm relaxing bath and a good book...a cup of warm milk. Be persistent and regular with this for a week or two and you will have her in bed by 7:00. She needs a lot more sleep then she is getting to be healthy. My 2 year old needs 12 hours and I think that is standard. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

My daughter who is two and a half went through something like this recently. Firstly I should mention that because I am a full-time college student taking night classes we have what some might call an "abnormal" schedule anyway.....but I have been told that at this age the actually TIME that they do things (ex. go to bed) what is important is that it happens at the SAME time every day and that they are getting enough. Anyway, she recently went through about 2 weeks were she would stay up until about 6am sleep until about 11 am then take a "nap" at anytime between 5 and 7 pm sleep until 2am then stay awake until 6 again. Sometimes she would go to bed at 9pm which is her normal time and seem to sleep good, but always wake up at 2 and refuse to go back to sleep until she would just about pass out at 6. At the direction of a specialist, (because at this time we happen to live with family and share a room) when she woke up at 2am I would leave the lights and everything in the room off and without getting out of my bed tell her she needed to get back into her bed and go to sleep because it was sleep time and I would not turn on any lights for her to play. Eventually she just ended up falling back into her normal schedule...yours probably will too you just need to make sure that everything is dark dull and boring when she wants to stay up so that she will see no reason not to go to sleep.....don't make it look like she is missing out on fun if she goes to bed that will make her want to stay awake.

Answer 9

Is there any chance the room she sleeps in is a little too chilly? That wakes people up, especially toddlers.

If you could keep her up and not let her have a nap I wonder if you could get her to go to bed for the night by 8 or 9.

Also, I wonder if you made sure she has a snack and some milk before bed if she'd sleep longer.

I'll back up what I'm about to say because I know it conflicts with what a lot of people believe: Sometimes I forget to eat and stay up late. When I try to sleep I can't sleep, and even if I fall asleep I wake up too soon. The only way to stop that and get myself a good night sleep is to have a snack like a cookie or two, sometimes peanutbutter cups (they have fat) or toast and peanutbutter. I get a cup of coffee (not strong) and load it up with cream and a teaspoon of sugar. After that snack I can sleep. I often joke to people that I couldn't sleep so I got up and had a cup of coffee and some cookies in order to help me sleep. I know it sounds all wrong according to what people seem to believe these days, but - honest - it is as if I've taken a sleeping pill!

My point is (and I'll back it up) that it feels to me as if the snack I get actually calms me down rather than getting me "hyper". I'm sure there is something in the carbohydrates and fat that is calming.

Backing it up: Not long ago 20/20's John Stossel did a show on myths, and he talked with scientists and doctors, and it was established that sugar doesn't make people "hyper". The show interviewed all kinds of people who would swear that it does, but in one case people referred to a birthday party with all the hyper kids. The doctor pointed out that kids get hyper in a group at a brithday party. They interviewed college students who swore sugar got them high; and the point of the program was that, in spite of all the medical and scientific information that states sugar doesn't make people hyper, some people just believe it does.

Between brain chemicals like dopamine and seratonin, carbohydrates and fats can make a person feel better/calmer sometimes.

I'm not recommending bad eating habits for the rest of time (my children grew up with really good eating habits and were slender throughout their childhood), but I wonder if you tried giving your little girl something like a handful of Captain Crunch cereal and a glass of milk or else a some cheese and oyster crackers (or something like that) with milk or even a cookie with milk before bed if she may actually sleep better.

The only other thing that could contribute is if you have a lively home environment that doesn't gradually "tone down" as the evening wears on. You don't have to shut off all the lights and sounds and whisper, but if you kind of have a phasing down of the activity, lights, sounds over the course of the evening it could help. (Something like "no jumping around crazy" after dinner; play building blocks or dolls or anything that isn't physical.)

Turn any television down a little. You could put a children's DVD in and throw a blanket on the floor in front of the tv and see if she falls asleep there. You could carry her in later.

If you can't do her baths in the morning maybe you could back them away from bedtime a little more. Some people find baths relaxing. Others feel really super great and energetic after a bath.

6:30 a.m. is a pretty common time for a child that age to wake, but as you know they usually go to bed earlier. 4 a.m. is way too much. I can't help but wonder if she's got too empty a belly or is a little bit too chilly to keep sleeping.

Well, that's all the ideas I have.

Answer 10

I agree a routine is important, you should read to her or do something calm befor bedtime. You should also put her in bed at a reasonable time (befor 8:00pm). If she screams or cries go in and comfort her once in a while until she falls asleep, she must learn how to put herself to sleep. she may scream and cry for a couple of hours but after three days she will fall asleep on her own. It may be tough for you to hear her cry but it is better to listen to 3 days of screaming then 3 years. I had to this with my two youngest children and after a few days they were going to sleep without any trouble.